scummy scummy man --I feel so low again and foolish

[comewwhinewithme]

Ok so I'm not sure if anyone remembers my thread at the end of Jan? Dp went awol leaving me with 6dc and I was pg.
He turned back up with some story about loving me but not being in love and how he thought he was having a breakdown.
He didn't move back in but was here all the time and I supported him through his breakdown he would sit and cry and say sorry. He told the kids he was coming home he took money and food off me because he was skint.
He also swore he wanted me was still in love with me and I was the only person who stood by him. He said all his family had turned their back on him.
I fell for it all then I found a new facebook account he had set up and he is in a relationship with a girl he walks with.
Turns out he bought her the same chain he wanted to buy me for valentines day and he showed her a private letter regarding my pregnancy I had from the hospital.
He has also banned my dc from his sisters wedding so he can take her ;(.
The thing that really hurts though is his family they knew all along theiy have been out with her as have two of my oldest friends, what a kick in the teeth.
He is now lying about ever saying he was coming home and said he hasn't slept with me since he left, everyone thinks I'm some mad ex with a grudge and all condoning his actions.
Even his mum sat in my house Thursday and said she didn't know why he had gone.
Why couldn't one of them told me his mum has known me since I was 5 she said I was her third daughter.His sister has photos up of them stood together with their arms round each other
What the fuck did I do.

He's a right head fucker, isn't he? You're right not to respond. But save all such texts. They may come in handy.

Oh my god , indeed what scum.

A lot of family will blindly support flesh and blood no matter what.

I'd say get rid fast.

What a totally selfish dickhead he is, it really is all about him, isn't it?

Ha chickens first time I've laughed all week. Might change his name to headfucker on phone pmsl

Solictor just rang to get a brief outline of things. She was really nice but said she usually advises contact at every other weekend and one day a week otherwise all the resident parent gets is routine and no weekends with dc.
She also said he can't force my two eldest to see him as they are of an age to make their own choice. I want them to see him it is them saying they will never see him again.

Yes that sounds fairly standard. A lot of my friends do every other weekend and one day a week, the week they do not have them over night.

Head fucker indeed. What an idiot sending you texts like that. Well done on not replying

Well another text "please talk to me I'm so down"

Errrr no. Looks funny when it comes up as text from headfucker though.

What a nobber. Very useful to have evidence of his head fuckery though. The perfect moment to show everyone what a twat monkey he is may arise

Just read whole thread and this 'headfucker' is an awful man.

Stay strong and don't reply but keep the text and next time he is lying and trying to spin everything you have it there. I bet he hasn't been completley honest with his family either.

I'm saving them all. He's a silly fucker. Just had a little sad moment though at how screwed up things are.

Yes he's trying to keep you on side. He cannot have his cake and eat it.

No it all makes sense now why he tried to get me to block his mum's number weeks ago. He told me she was angry with me and has probably told her I want no contact.
That is why I was so shocked when she turned up on Thursday.

Things aren't screwed up he is.

Pissed off again now. Lovely friend just told me she had been snooping and seen lots of loved up pics of the pair of them. Feel sick I don't want to go and look but it's annoying me that I could.
Bastard.

Is this on facebook? Block him asap.

^ Yeah- definitely block him. You do not want to get caught up in the habit of checking out what he's doing and how he is. It will only hurt you and push you back because everyone looks really happy on facebook and it will mess with your head.

I've already blocked both him and OW on the first night I found them. Also most of his family and friends are blocked.
I know that I could look if I wanted though but I really don't want to.
Is it bad to admit I have let the dc get on with it today I have sat on my bed all day they keep coming and getting in with me then playing board games or reading.
Ds went out and got sandwiches from the sandwich shop for everyone and don't tell anyone they had a can of coke with it. They were a bit amazed .
Picnic for evening meal tomorrow I will get it together.

I mean picnic for evening meal tonight but tomorrow I will get it together.

oh love! he is indeed a headfuck.

stay strong, so what if the kids have picnic tea - they are eating. Get your teenagers to entertain the younger ones. Be kind to yourself and dont react to your ex P.

As someone said on another relationship thread Act dont React.

The day sounds perfect to me. Even now mine sometimes have a picnic tea or beans on toast etc.

I sometimes think facebook is the route of all evil and I am a prolific fb user. I am so glad they're blocked.

The OW in my situation tried to only put photos up from her joint holiday with my then H, without him in them. As I was friends with them both When the affair first came out, I removed her from my fb and blocked her, before I'd even had confirmation that it was her. I just knew it was. Took my ExH another 5 months to admit it all though! It's horrid thinking back that during their whole affair of 9 months or so whilst we were still together, she had a complete window into my life, when my status updates said I missed my H etc or when he was there and we did things together as a family, or pictures were uploaded etc Yuck.

Ha jux I said that on the other thread I was having one of my strong days. What a fool eh?

Jax, sorry

Omg Teacakes! Where do these women get off? I know it's the DH who did the dirty but I can't imagine even going near a married man.

They have a different moral compass to us. That is why OW often get short shrift on mn when they post about it all.

I felt so guilty as I used to be so jealous at how often they spoke as friends that I invited her to my children's christening and she came whilst screwing their Dad. And I walked in on them with their heads together and they claimed they were praying, one time. Yes my ExH was a church youth worker. The church sacked him rather sharpish when the affair came out. But they did it nicely by redundancy and claiming the position was changing and needed someone else. He'd never have lost his job if he'd done it properly instead of being off shagging someone 4 hours drive away all the time

Bloody hell pair of tossers. Thinking about it one of the friends who knew had a long term affair with a married man and once saw his wife out and about and said she was going to go over and tell her she didn't reckon much to her bedroom curtains. She couldn't understand why we all told her she was vile.