Am I fighting for my marriage or begging?

[cwtchy]

I've been with my DH 14 years, and married for 5 of them. We have a 2 yo and a 4 yo. Things haven't been great for a while as often happens with 2 babies, but DH also works shifts and I work on his days off, which means we have had almost zero time to ourselves since the DCs were born.

DH has told me this week he doesn't love me anymore and it's the end of our marriage.

I'm bloody devastated. I love him as I've always done and was looking forward to our youngest starting nursery this sept so we could have more time together - I was so looking forward to that. He says however that it's gone on too long for him and the love just isn't there any more for him.

I don't want to just let him go, and have told him exactly how I feel, asked him to come to counselling with me, asked for the separation to be a trial one. But he is refusing and says he doesn't want to drag the pain out for me. Should I be trying everything to keep him, or do I deserve better and let him get on with it? I just feel like he hasn't even tried. We used to have such a fantastic relationship. I don't want to beg someone to stay with me who doesn't love me. But I also want to fight for what we had.

Hey cwtchy I know exactly how you feel.. my DD told me that her and daddy met OW and then went to his mum's .. but then given that his daily church going catholic holy Mary mother has been looking after DD for him for a couple of hours here and there to let him go and meet with his girlfriend she has already been facilitating their relationship .. I don't talk to her about anything now.. she was very supportive when i suspected the affair but supported him when i found proof .. blood is thicker than water and all that! xx

Oh Jeez, couldn't she have just given you some time before doing that? So sorry you're dealing with this on top of everything else. x

Hello cwtchy, I've just been through your thread, so sorry to hear what you've been going through.

Did you have a date with the 24 year old? From your earlier post, wasn't that meant to be happening this weekend?

Hope you are doing ok, skyblue. It's not easy, all this crap, is it.

Oh yes, the date! It was fun. We were with mutual friends, so it wasn't a date as such. But we have been texting ever since...it's not going to go anywhere serious obviously, but he's making me smile.

Just got back from the solicitors, and started the divorce petition off. The hardest bit was leaving my marriage certificate there. I couldn't even look at it and I probably won't see it again. Not that it means anything any more though. I decided to go for adultery, but he has to sign saying that he admits it within 14 days, so we will see.

I felt like that about my marriage certificate. It was one of the happiest days of my life and only 6 and a half years ago... How the hell did life end up like this, where that wonderful day just becomes a bit of paper that the court need to end your marriage...... Im crying now for the first time in days........ but only a little bit. The anti depressants seem to be working and stop me sliding down that dark hole.... the tablets are helping me to stay strong for my daughter and focus on the divorce and the future....

Sorry you are having a rough time Skye .. you will come out the other side a stronger person.. x