Folks, the reason I am so certain that this is right, is because said DD is now nearly 25. She is happy, independent, lives away, a graduate, responsible, and has a good job and a fun life. She is lovely.
She is also articulate, and, probably because female, has been very open with me for years about how she feels about her dad. She loves him, and still sees him and his partner now, but she knows well that he wasnt always there for her.
As a teenager and since, she has had him as a fairly low priority too. For example, she would never spend Xmas with him, and when she used to come home from uni he was the last to get a visit, after me and her friends.
This upset him considerably, and his bloody partner tried to guilt trip her about it. She came to me about this just quite bewildered really, sort of puzzled. She could not see what was wrong.
Well, we can, cant we ladies?
In her eyes she wasnt wrong. She was just treating him how she thought she should, ie, echoing back to him the relationship which he in fact had taught her to have with him.
Our relationship with our kids as adults is usually a mirror in many ways our our past relationship with them as children.
Or, to put it simply, they give back what they got, as they see no other way.
And why shouldnt they!
Cautionary tale there for your h, Cwtchy, not that he will heed it.