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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He's gone...for now

194 replies

nutcracker · 04/02/2006 11:16

We had a huge row about washing of all things, and he lost it, threw 2 cups at the wall in the kitchen, so I told him to get out.

He will be back though, as although i gave him his cash card, there is hardley any money in his account.

Am feeling very shaky and upset and sick.

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 05/02/2006 12:03

Haven't read the latest messages yet, just wanted to post to let you all know that I am ok. We have told the kids and he has gone.

Will post more later

Big thanks to all of you xxx

OP posts:
Freckle · 05/02/2006 12:04

Glad to hear everything's OK. When you say he's gone, is this for good or just temporarily?

Hope you have some support there.

BudaBabe · 05/02/2006 12:05

Glad to hear you seem ok!

LadySherlockofLGJ · 05/02/2006 12:06

Stay strong Nutty.

I am soooooooooooooo proud of you.

alexsmum · 05/02/2006 12:09

Just picked up on this and wanted to say" nutty-well done" ! Your future happiness potential has just multiplied by a million!

gomez · 05/02/2006 12:11

Ah Nutty, sorry that you are having a b*llocks time.

Be strong thou' - keep in mind the reasons why you wanted him to go. You have managed to get through lots of sh*t in the past so you WILL manage to deal with this.

Good Luck

littlemissbossy · 05/02/2006 12:11

Hi nutty, just seen this, hope you're all ok

Miaou · 05/02/2006 12:20

Nutty, you are being very courageous. Stay strong and hold in your mind what it is you want to achieve. You can do it, even if it is hard for you to get there.

sarahinphuket · 05/02/2006 12:26

Good for you nutty. Stay strong. I don't want to be morose but chances are it will get harder before it gets better. But be safe in the knowledge that it WILL get better. It truly will, I can't tell you that enough.

xxx

sobernow · 05/02/2006 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katierocket · 05/02/2006 12:42

just seen this nutty, just wanted to add my support, I hope you can find a solution that is right for you and the kids

anorak · 05/02/2006 12:51

Hi nutty, just caught up with this. Want to add my support. You couldn't live with his ridiculous jealousy, it's no way to live, is it?

The best is yet to come, I'm sure.

ponygirl · 05/02/2006 13:07

Hi Nutty. You're doing so well! Keep hanging in there. Thinking of you and hope you're doing OK. Pg x

tribpot · 05/02/2006 13:09

Well done nutcracker. Your recent posts have made me so sad, you deserve a life free from this awful man and now you've started on that journey at last. All the best.

Nbg · 05/02/2006 13:15

Well done Nutty

That must have been a hard thing to do.

Keep strong

Original poster
nutcracker · 05/02/2006 14:15

Thanks so much for all of the lovely messages, it means alot to me.

In the end I did let him back last night with the rule that if he was still here when the kids woke, he had got to tell them with me. He was still here and so we sat them down and told them we weren't going to be liviving together anymore.

Everyone cried, dd's were devestated, but I have explained things to them calmly and they seem a little better at the mo.

He has gone to stay at his brothers. He isn't going back to work, he said there is no point as he wil get hammered by the csa. I don't care if he works or not, thats up to him.

I think he is ringing our ha tommorow to see if he can be put on the list for a flat, plus ring some other angencies too.

He has spoken to me since he left on msn which I am fine with, but if it gets too much i will block him. I have told him i will get the kids to ring him later.

I have lots of things I need to sort out so will try and make a dent in all that tommorow.

Once again thanks to you all, i really couldn't have done it without the support of everyone on here.

OP posts:
Piffle · 05/02/2006 14:17

Nutty, I have noticed recently that you were sounding more and more unhappy, I really hope this turns out ok for you and your kids.
We're all here, if there is anything you need babe, sing out xxxx

BudaBabe · 05/02/2006 14:30

Well done Nutty. The children will adapt. It will be hard for all you at first but it will get better.

Socci · 05/02/2006 14:30

Message withdrawn

Original poster
nutcracker · 05/02/2006 14:40

Thankyou

OP posts:
doormat · 05/02/2006 15:02

Good luck nutty
xxx

katierocket · 05/02/2006 15:02

Sounds like you handled it really well. My parents split up when I was young and it wasn't teh fact of them splitting up that upset me, it was the fact that nobody had explained it properly to me plus I felt I wasn't supposed to ask questions about it all.
good for you nutty.

anorak · 05/02/2006 15:04

It sounds like you both handled it very well.

Original poster
nutcracker · 05/02/2006 16:06

Thankyou

Ds doesn't really understand it. I have xplained it to him and he says "ok" and then half an hour later he asks me where daddy is, but he is only just 3 so I don't really expect him to realise whats happening.

The girls are playing up a bit now, which I expected but am finding it a bit hard, just want some peace and quiet.

Have had a quick tidy up downstairs which has made me feel a bit better.

Have a nice peice of pork cooking in the slow cooker so am going to do a nice tea and then give the kids a bath and get them in bed.

OP posts:
tammybear · 05/02/2006 16:20

hey hun, just saw your thread in lone parents section so just had a quick read up of whats happened.

Just wanted to give you a hug and wish you luck hun xxx

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