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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He's gone...for now

194 replies

nutcracker · 04/02/2006 11:16

We had a huge row about washing of all things, and he lost it, threw 2 cups at the wall in the kitchen, so I told him to get out.

He will be back though, as although i gave him his cash card, there is hardley any money in his account.

Am feeling very shaky and upset and sick.

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 14:53

Good point colditz.

Am just feeling crap at the mo, feel guilty regarding the kids and worried about money etc etc etc.

OP posts:
colditz · 04/02/2006 14:56

Don't feel guilty about the kids, you are doing your best for them. And about money, what is the worst that could happen? You could be on benefits, and although being on benefits isn't brilliant, it beats having to ask a controlling man for money because he won't let you work and won't share his wages.

MeerkatsUnite · 04/02/2006 15:07

Nutty

Am sorry it has come to this but I feel this was all going to go pear shaped sooner or later anyway given his past behaviours.

Even though your children may not have directly seen what he did they probably heard things being smashed.

Would certainly agree with collecting all his stuff and leaving it somewhere accessible, not your home. Do not let him into your house and do not be on your own with the children if at all possible. You need familial support.

Do not take him back because if you do he'll be okay for a couple of weeks then the whole controlling issues he has going on will start again.

You may also want to consider seeking advice from the CAB with regards to the finances.

Trust that you have called in sick - I see you were meant to work this evening.

Guilt is a useless emotion.

doormat · 04/02/2006 15:11

nutty
hugs, be strong and keep ya chin up
xxx

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 15:48

Just spoken to my dad. He said he can see faults with both of us, i control the money too much which he said is a big prob but he said even without all that our relationship is crap basically, and he will support me in whatever desicion i make.

OP posts:
cod · 04/02/2006 15:49

Message withdrawn

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 15:51

LOL i think Martin is the bloke from Provident who i rung ages and ages ago. He rung me back and i remember writing his name and number down.

OP posts:
cod · 04/02/2006 15:52

Message withdrawn

JoolsToo · 04/02/2006 15:53

be strong! good luck

JT

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 15:54

Is what good or bad ????

It's good he has gone isn't it.

OP posts:
cod · 04/02/2006 15:54

Message withdrawn

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 15:55

Well i think so yeah.

OP posts:
LadySherlockofLGJ · 04/02/2006 19:54

How are you doing Nutty ??????

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 21:04

Hello

I am ok. He has phoned a few times and was arsey, reckonsd he is sleeping in the car cos he has no where else to go.

My mom has been round and i cooked her tea and she gave me wine ( a bit too much wine), so i am now having a strong black coffee.

OP posts:
Latz · 04/02/2006 21:09

Sorry to but in but have been reading thread - stay strong - and speak to citizens advice or lawyer regarding kids etc - work for police so this is advice would give.

BIG HUGS xx

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 22:08

he's on the phone now

OP posts:
freshstart · 04/02/2006 22:08

keep strong

BudaBabe · 04/02/2006 22:11

Wondered how you were going and if he'd come back.

Let us know

VeniVidiVickiQV · 04/02/2006 22:13

I dont know if im happy or sad for you IYKWIM. Its good he's gone. Stick with it. x

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 22:17

still on the phojne

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 04/02/2006 22:18

is he pleading...?

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 22:21

yep

OP posts:
starlover · 04/02/2006 22:21

grr tell him to bugger off!

hercules · 04/02/2006 22:22

just remember nutty, this could be a chance for you to change your future. Make your decision carefully.

Beetroot · 04/02/2006 22:22

stand firm

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