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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He's gone...for now

194 replies

nutcracker · 04/02/2006 11:16

We had a huge row about washing of all things, and he lost it, threw 2 cups at the wall in the kitchen, so I told him to get out.

He will be back though, as although i gave him his cash card, there is hardley any money in his account.

Am feeling very shaky and upset and sick.

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 22:25

he started shouting so i hung up

OP posts:
starlover · 04/02/2006 22:26

good for you!

Beetroot · 04/02/2006 22:28

phone off hook

VeniVidiVickiQV · 04/02/2006 22:29

Excellent - that is the best thing (and worse thing for him) that you could have done.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 04/02/2006 22:30

pull cable out wall - it still makes ringing noise to the caller

Sallystrawberry · 04/02/2006 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 22:31

he's on again

OP posts:
starlover · 04/02/2006 22:32

don't answer it! unplug the phone. and only answer mobile to other people.

he will hate being ignored.... and you'll be showing him that he no longer controls you

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 22:35

he said he is down the road in a phone booth

OP posts:
GDG · 04/02/2006 22:36

Is anyone with you nutty?

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 22:37

nope am on me own, i'm ok though honest

OP posts:
starlover · 04/02/2006 22:40

well bully for him! is that where he's staying tonight?

have you locked all the doors so he can't get in? leave keys in/put chains across etc etc?

sobernow · 04/02/2006 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 23:10

Am ok, just tired.

OP posts:
sobernow · 04/02/2006 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jampots · 04/02/2006 23:15

i think you should get to bed nutty. Unplug your phone and just relax a bit. He'll be ok wherever he is and tomorrow is another day xxx

jampots · 04/02/2006 23:15

unless of course he's in the phonebox still and someone wants to use it in which case he'll probably get kicked out of it

sorry I shouldnt make light of it

Original poster
nutcracker · 04/02/2006 23:16

Am going to bed now, am feeling a bit sick tbh.

Thanks all for supporting me, will update in the morning.

OP posts:
sarahinphuket · 05/02/2006 03:07

I just wanted to add my support......I have been following your threads.

FWIW I kicked my H out at the end of Dec. He did all the pleading, etc etc and made me feel really really guilty - but I stuck to my guns and refused to let him come back. It was very hard to stay strong sometimes, but all I had to do was remember all the yelling and other stuff that had made me so miserable. It's now two months down the line and, although I do get lonely sometimes, I am generally a whole lot happier than I was before. DD is also a lot calmer and happier.

I still see XH - Sunday is his day to take DD out. She is always happy to see him and a little upset when he leaves, but I know that I have done the best for her because she is no longer living in a bad environment.

XH and I actually get on fine now - better than before. Every so often he begs to come back but I think that deep down he knows that would never happen.

I don't mean to waffle on about me, but what I'm trying to say is try and stay strong. He will pull out all the emotional stops and try everything to make you feel bad, give in and let him come back - everything from being super nice, to yelling and screaming, to crying. This is because you now have control and he probably feels scared. It WILL be a rollercoaster for you, but believe me you will feel happier in the long run.

BudaBabe · 05/02/2006 08:34

Hope you are OK this morning.

Thinking of you.

winnie · 05/02/2006 08:41

goodluck nutcracker, thinking of you.

glitterfairy · 05/02/2006 09:26

Have just seen this. Hope you are ok. It is terrible in the beginning and they all phone and plead but Sarah is right remember why you are doing this and you will be ok.

I am thinking of you and hope you are alright this morning.

cathyspam · 05/02/2006 09:32

just a wee not to say hope you are ok this mnorning.

suzywong · 05/02/2006 09:37

Nutty you can get through this

I remember you and I started MNing at the same time and one of the first things I remember about you is that you wanted to end it with DP but didn't know how to.
And that was a long time ago

Stick to your guns and good luck

Bugsy2 · 05/02/2006 11:39

Hope you are ok today Nutcracker. Hope you have people with you too, glad your Mum was there for you yesterday. Don't let him bully you or make you feel guilty. Do what is best for you.
Thinking of you.

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