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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Starting Again, Moving Forward...Onwards and Upwards ! :)

999 replies

Startingagain88 · 27/03/2012 14:33

Following all your wonderful messages of love and support since my partner of 15yrs up and left for OW, my previous thread reached the 1000 post mark and so i'm starting this new thread with a more uplifting subject title!!

Its only three weeks in since EXDP left and so i know i have a long way to go...but slowly each day I'm feeling more positive and believing that my life can be wonderful without him!

Here's the link to my old thread -

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1421736-In-shock-cant-quite-believe-it-Long-Sorry

OP posts:
only4tonight · 02/04/2012 21:58

You are a mountain of strength and dignity and rationality 99 percent of the time. He caught you at that 1 percent. Give yourself a break. He has committed much much greater crimes.

Startingagain88 · 02/04/2012 21:59

Only, i understand, i think somewhere deep down i want him to suffer for what he has done to me..... i think i would be a robot if I didn't!!

Out of interest how long did it take you to meet your DH after your break up from the k**bhead?

OP posts:
only4tonight · 02/04/2012 22:05

An embarrassingly short amount of time. I do believe it was 8 months. But dh was very patient. We took it stupidly slowley.

I knew how messed up things had been with knobhead when I realised I didn't have to be anyone other than me when I was with dh. I never really had that before. I never felt I was good enough. I thought he was an arse because I wasn't good enough for him not to be iyswim

Doha · 02/04/2012 22:21

Every day you are stronger Starting and you are allowed a wobble now and again.
What did your latest wobble teach you---that you really don't want him bacj because the trust could never be there and the relationship could never be what you want it to be.

So another lesson learned Smile
you go girl you are doing just fine.
have a virtual

Startingagain88 · 02/04/2012 22:22

What a lovely story....i hope that something like that will happen for me!! I'm 36 though and feel over the hill at the moment :( i wouldnt know where to begin dating again!

OP posts:
Startingagain88 · 02/04/2012 22:27

Oh Doha- thank you so much, each hug i receive makes me stronger!!

The war between the head and the heart is difficult, but my head is winning over slowly :)

OP posts:
only4tonight · 02/04/2012 22:32

You are 36 not 86! Blimey you have your whole life ahead of you. I realise I am lucky I went through all my relationship Shite very early.

I love dh but we have had our problems. Things that have nearly broken us and some days I want to strangle him. It's not all roses. But he has never made me hate myself. People who take YOU away from you are the worst kind of animals.

Plomino · 02/04/2012 22:48

I've read all your threads so far, and not yet posted, but I had to reply .

You are so not an idiot , you are someone who had her nice safe world ripped from under her , with no warning, and no care by that fool of a dp. It is inevitable that you are going to have moments of weakness. How could you not?

Just think that tomorrow is another day. You will have good ones , and bad . It will take a while, but I promise you that soon, you will have so many more good days than bad, and one day you'll think " Now what was the name of that idiot who gave me fabulous life back again? "

And you won't be able to remember.

Now have another virtual hug , from someone who doesn't usually go in for all that mushy stuff .

Startingagain88 · 02/04/2012 22:59

Plomino- thanks for the hug !:)

Im am trying to take each each day as it comes...but the future seems very scary at the moment...not exciting as it should be!

Cant wait until the good days outweigh the bad :)

OP posts:
only4tonight · 02/04/2012 23:08

Gonna have to go to bed now. Tomorrow is.a bright brand new day.

fedupofnamechanging · 02/04/2012 23:12

Please change your phone numbers. You really shouldn't have to listen to any more of his shit. .it is doing you no good to be at his beck and call - much better if the only way he can communicate is via email

I doubt very much if he will take you to court over the house and if he did, you would get the chance to explain how he has left you in the lurch wrt all the work that needs doing, and how you quit your job and invested in his business - he has far more to lose than he does to gain, as the court could well make him give you money.

MaBumble · 02/04/2012 23:21

Starting I finally split with my X in 2000 (3rd time lucky!) and knew if I got to 3 months I would not buckle and take him back (again). I was 35 with 2 kids and had been with him from the age of 16.
6 months after he left I had my first screen crush in years (Heath Ledger in Knights Tale)
Over the next 2 years I made new ffriends, I got a job, I went out, flirted outrageously, and gave my 'wrong' phone number out to many inappropriate men. I had low points, high points, and finally got onto an even keel, it took time, and it wasn't easy and of course I made mistakes along the way.
What I'm trying to say is that the gut wrenching grief and loneliness you are feeling will pass. You have to grieve for the lost potential. The life you had been promised by someone you believed loved you.
Everyone has a different time line. At 4 weeks it's still so raw, frightening and uncertain, but take each day as it comes and you will find that before you know it you look in the mirror and the old you, the funny smart attractive you is looking back, saying 'Damn! I'm hot' ;)

FidgetPie · 02/04/2012 23:22

Another virtual hug from me - I think you are doing brilliantly

I think your breaking down in the phone call was perfectly normal behaviour and not at all idiotic. I have done much worse / embarassing / bunny boiler behaviour on the back of someone ending a relationship with me, including repeatedly (ie dozens if not more...) ringing an ex's landline just hear his voice on the message and driving round to his house (we weren't even living together) to sit outside and check there were no lights on or signs of movement in case he was just screening my calls. Not to mention all the sobbing and the begging letters to take me back. (I am now v happily married to someone I met at work having regained my sanity along with my self confidence, so things do work out ok in the end)

Take care

RachyRach30 · 03/04/2012 03:00

Hi

Hope your feeling a little bit better.

I would want him to suffer too.if you do want him to suffer you need to get tough, that is the only way he will start to suffer the pain that he has caused you.

Have you got rid of all his things yet? If not get that deadline set. Take no more ifs and buts if he doesn't pick them up on that date it is charity shop, at least they will help somebody else, maybe sell a few things, tip for crappy stuff.
Has he got a key to the house if so change the locks, he cannot come and go as he pleases anymore. He Needs to know this.

Sort out any loose ends, see your solicitor and send him the bill for all what he owes you, the other woman can go swivel.

If I was you I'd get on with the makeover of your home, wash him right out of your hair. You don't want any reminders of him.

Look for a job, you will feel more in control and meet new friends. Organise any courses you fancy too eg pottery.

Remember the reason he has started being nice again was because he was worried you were getting over him, you made him feel this way by ignoring him, getting on with your day to day life. This is the best way to handle him. He wants to keep his options open you and her. Then when he ground you down again so you fell back into his arms he was hard again, saying he's not coming back. He's playing mind games what a self centred prick. He wants to know your pining for him, waiting around for him so that he can ensure he's got you to go back to if it's doesn't work out with the ow. Getting tough will make Him suffer. Ignoring him, doing things, getting a job will show him you have a life and oh you are going off him. Them he will get angry then start to be nice again as he thinks you've moved on, well when this happens you have to be strong. Your not a doormat - ignore, on his bike that type of attitude.

Get tough and start by meaning it.

I know it's hard to be this way but it's the only way to get back your control and make him stop walking all over you. Once he knows he can't he will come running back but you know it's too late, believe in yourself he has lost you... And boy will he be crying then and feeling sorry for himself , now you see that is when you have your karma and he will be sat there feeling how you feel now. That's bitter sweet.. You'll be stronger and having the time of your life.

I was discussing this with my dh the other day (hope you don't mind) he said he can see him sat there in a one bed flat on his own in the future. I agree. I said I can see you with a lovely bloke, great career, detached house and a family. Your too good for him and far too intelligent for this little pea brain.

only4tonight · 03/04/2012 11:16

Morning. How's it going?

springydaffs · 03/04/2012 11:35

How could you not crumble if he was doing the darling and sweetheart shit? God he is one turd isn't he? He's probably winding her up too, making her feel insecure. vile. vile. vile.

He's messing with your head starting and you really must stop having any contact with him. What he is doing is spectacularly cruel, you must get out of his orbit. what a headfuck, when you are strugging to keep your head and heart together after this tremendous shock. Please seriously consider changing your numbers. You have to get yourself safe so you can heal ((hug))

not long now and you can hit the road and have some amazing time away - wash that shit right outta your hair Smile

Startingagain88 · 03/04/2012 12:01

Morning....

Feeling a bit brighter this morning...sun is shining slept well as I had a couple of JD's and coke last night (i dont normally drink that much now..but i needed to wind down IYKWIM)!

Got up (still on sofa Blush) had a shower got dressed- instead on moping around i PJ's till 11.00!

Cant believe what i did yesterday, i quite embarrassed by it but i knew that you ladies would understand and not judge me......just give me some wonderful advice to pull me through....

Had a look on FB yesterday...i was never on there before but joined after EXDP left to catch up with old friends.....i now have two invites for nights out in London (both from old friends) and a invite to a club night in camden who is DJ'd by an old flame (he always carried a torch for me but nothing happened) he is single too so you never know! :) I just have to find someone to look after the night, these nights out tend to end up as all nighters IYKWIM!

OP posts:
Startingagain88 · 03/04/2012 12:03

Sorry- I just have to find someone to look after the DOG for the night, these nights out tend to end up as all nighters IYKWIM!

OP posts:
Xales · 03/04/2012 12:07

If you like Camden I would be happy to come and window shop with you for the day and sit by the lock drinking beer.

Fortunately I am perma skint or I would bring half the market back with me each time lol.

Startingagain88 · 03/04/2012 12:08

Rachy, thank you so much for you post, it makes so much sense.... hasn't he hurt me enough? Now to start playing games with me to keep the OW happy?

Hes a selfish and weak man to do that, as i said before the worst thing for me is the change in him....he put me on a pedestal and treated me very well most of the time, now he will hurt me without even caring about how this will make me feel....

Your last paragraph made me cry.....i hope i can still have all of those things....i really dont want this experience to stop be from be able to trust another man again......

OP posts:
only4tonight · 03/04/2012 12:09

Hey you. See I told you that today would be a bright brand new day. Good for you.

Startingagain88 · 03/04/2012 12:12

Xales.... that sounds fun....in the late nineties Camden was my second home, i have some brilliant memories from back then before i met k**bhead!

Love the market the pubs and clubs the lot :)

OP posts:
Startingagain88 · 03/04/2012 12:14

Thanks only, I'm trying to keep my head up, looking towards the future. x

OP posts:
only4tonight · 03/04/2012 12:21

Look at your nights out for trial time of pet sitting services for when you start work or go on holiday. Google pet sitters there are loads around and I have just found one called pet sitting swipe. Where you exchange pet sitting between people in the same situation. Sounds viable?

LiarsWife · 03/04/2012 12:23

Hi starting glad you're a bit more positive this morning

Pet sitter or kennels are definitely the way to go ..

Nights in London sound great :)

xx