Hi
Hope your feeling a little bit better.
I would want him to suffer too.if you do want him to suffer you need to get tough, that is the only way he will start to suffer the pain that he has caused you.
Have you got rid of all his things yet? If not get that deadline set. Take no more ifs and buts if he doesn't pick them up on that date it is charity shop, at least they will help somebody else, maybe sell a few things, tip for crappy stuff.
Has he got a key to the house if so change the locks, he cannot come and go as he pleases anymore. He Needs to know this.
Sort out any loose ends, see your solicitor and send him the bill for all what he owes you, the other woman can go swivel.
If I was you I'd get on with the makeover of your home, wash him right out of your hair. You don't want any reminders of him.
Look for a job, you will feel more in control and meet new friends. Organise any courses you fancy too eg pottery.
Remember the reason he has started being nice again was because he was worried you were getting over him, you made him feel this way by ignoring him, getting on with your day to day life. This is the best way to handle him. He wants to keep his options open you and her. Then when he ground you down again so you fell back into his arms he was hard again, saying he's not coming back. He's playing mind games what a self centred prick. He wants to know your pining for him, waiting around for him so that he can ensure he's got you to go back to if it's doesn't work out with the ow. Getting tough will make Him suffer. Ignoring him, doing things, getting a job will show him you have a life and oh you are going off him. Them he will get angry then start to be nice again as he thinks you've moved on, well when this happens you have to be strong. Your not a doormat - ignore, on his bike that type of attitude.
Get tough and start by meaning it.
I know it's hard to be this way but it's the only way to get back your control and make him stop walking all over you. Once he knows he can't he will come running back but you know it's too late, believe in yourself he has lost you... And boy will he be crying then and feeling sorry for himself , now you see that is when you have your karma and he will be sat there feeling how you feel now. That's bitter sweet.. You'll be stronger and having the time of your life.
I was discussing this with my dh the other day (hope you don't mind) he said he can see him sat there in a one bed flat on his own in the future. I agree. I said I can see you with a lovely bloke, great career, detached house and a family. Your too good for him and far too intelligent for this little pea brain.