Sensitive question about H

[ThreeLittlePandas]

I've been putting off asking this because I'm scared of what your answers might be. I'm really evaluating my relationship with h atm and wondering wether to leave him and I think the answer to my question might heavily influence my decision.

in advance.

Dh and I rarely have sex. When we do it is rather boring but he is considerate.

The other evening I went to bed early as I was desperately tired. I was woken a few hours later my dh who had his fingers in me. I was heavily asleep and by the time I realised what was happening he was having sex with me. He finished quickly and that was it. I really hadn't wanted to have sex and feel like I wasn't given an option. The next day I felt a bit angry and almost violated to be honest.

I'm not looking for anything other than an opportunity to talk this through because it's been bothering me. This is about the third time in the last couple of years that something like this has happened.

Curious, you are really not helping at all. Please just leave the thread.

curious - you have listened to no one, please please show the OP some respect and do as she asked.

This is the same thing that happened to my sister but she reported her partner! He was sentenced to 12 months in prison! Hope your ok and do what feels right for you x

curious, but you didn't leave the thread. leaving the thread means, you know, leaving it, not looking at it.

You've had most of your posts on this tread deleted, and that's not because nobody is prepared to take on an alternative view - it's because your view is so abhorrent as to be offensive.

If you're happy living the way you do then you don't need to justify it quite so viemently on this thread.

Curious, just leave the thread. You opinion is not on the same wave length as these woman therfore they wont listen and discuss in an adult fashion without demeaning your opinions, calling to account your relationship and in general being damn right rude and obnoxious. Their bullying tactics of ganging up against anyone who offers a differing opinion to them is childish. As you have clearly stated, you are not dis-believing the op but are offering an opinion (which is what was asked for by coming on a site and airing a problem) What seems to happen is that these ladies take over the thread, i asked questions earlier on in the thread to try and get an understanding (to which i was slated) to the OP but the ladies saw fit to answer me, to give me thier opinions.

I am by no means a "rape apologist" but was trying to get an understanding of all aspects what went on with the OP to get a full rounded version of events but (what felt like being) set upon by the ladies of the thread.

OP, i really hope you are ok, and you go down the roads you see fit and are happy with. It is your life and your family and you and only you will tread them.

x

Mumofjz your comments on this thread sounded like rape apology because you had clearly missed the bit where the OP said this has happened before and i have told him not to do it.

really that's all there is to it. pontificating about whether or not the OP's husband "realised" he was raping her, after she had said that, just made you look vile. Whether that was intended or not.

This isn't a matter of opinion Mumofjz. It is a matter of accepting or denying a fact. The OPs husband raped her. You can deny it, he can deny it. Doesn't change what happened.

OP I hope you are OK and still getting some support out of this thread.

Mumofjz - how dare you? . How dare you imply that anyone has bullied CG off this thread because she doesn't agree with what we feel. What we feel is not the issue here, the FACTS are. The facts are the OP's husband has sexually assaulted her when she did not give her consent. That is called rape. If you have been on MN more than 5 minutes you would know that there isn't a climate of everyone feeling the same thing, having the same opinion, coming to the same conclusion etc etc etc, it is a mine of useful and interesting posts from intelligent,insightful, experienced, kind women and what you are saying is extremely offensive.

curious I hope you can finally show the OP some respect now and stay off her thread, like she has asked you to

Pandas I have been at wor all day so unable to post, but you have had great support, especially from cailin

twopeas I was on your other thread right until you stopped posting, and I wondered how you were getting on. Now I know I hope you can find the strength soon to do what you know you need to. Please at least tell us your H has no access your heavily pg body to practice his rape fantasies on. The thought of that makes me want to kill him.

work

Wannabe - Thats not the case at all. I've spoken with MNHQ, that isn't why my posts have been deleted so I suggest you think again before celebrating your 'victory'.

And I had left the thread. I was planning to just leave you all to your own unhealthy devices but when checking 'threads I'm on' saw a comment about myself I wasn't prepared to ignore.

As i've said MANY TIMES, I hope the OP is okay, completely wish her the best and hope that she finds a solution to her situation that she is happy with. I just think that this thread turned into something of a witch hunt.

Just one more thing WannaBe - 'viemently' (vehemently!!) hth!

AnyFucker - I have shown the OP respect. I truly feel for her. It was most others I took issue with.

I very much hope you have a better evening tonight OP and are able to sort things out, nothing I said was designed to offend you and I truly wouldn't want that xx

curious you can hide this thread in "threads i'm on", that way you won't be drawn back to it.

just go to the top of this page and click the link that says "Hide this thread"

would you like a spade?

I seem to have one.

Jesus Christ. You people. Seriously. Hiding thread now.

At last. Bye.

You just have to have lots of sympathy for CG.

OP I feel for you your thread has been so horribly hijacked. It was all you needed

I wish you find some peace with this, and things get better for you soon.