Help i have no idea how to deal with this... Regarding dp beyond drunk, A bit gross

[Close2breaking]

Im so upset right now its beyond belief.

Bit of background, Me and Dp have been having 'chats' now over the last couple of weeks about how im getting seriously pee'd of with things around the house. Things like clean clothes and washing being dumped on the floor, shoes coats etc being dumped anywhere, stuff not being put back where it belongs. Im masssively pregnant and have pgp so ive explained things are getting much harder and more painful for me to do. He agrees yes ok fair point he will be more aware to try not to make more work for me to do then needed

Tonight. He goes out 'for a few' with friend we shall call X instead of me and him going for a meal. Thats fine in itself but i no when X and him are together it tends to turn into a few hundred drinks. Left me sat up waiting as he wouldnt be late. He left at 6 maybe and has just strolled through up to bed. Saw him getting out of the taxi walking rather strange so i think wonderful his drunk.

He gets in bed and i think wow he stinks of alcohol and well... crap. Say have you trumped? No. ok awesome walk down stairs to get a drink this smell is horrific. I find his tshirt on the conservatory floor with shit smears all over it. His jeans full of crap in the washer. Have a cry and go upstairs to get him out of bed. Stands up obviously hasnt been bothered to wash or even wipe theres now crap all over half the bed and some on myself. Im mentally breaking down at this point. His obviously sat on the sofa too as it stinks. Send him for a bath which he apparently has had and cleaned himself and i then find 'it' all over some towels. the downstairs toilet looks like both ends have exploaded and stinks beyond anything ive ever known.

Ive tried to get anything out of him like WTF has happened, why didnt he do anything about it, where the hell his boxers are, why the hell did he get in bed next to me like that. apparently he didnt know. which is bollox because if he hadnt known he would have got undressed upstairs and he wouldnt have put his jeans in the wash.

I dont know what i ever expect anyone to say but obviously i dont feel i can rant about this in RL so even if no one says anything its off my chest a little :) . Seriously where do i take it from here? What am i suppose to say to him.

And no i am not the poo troll unfortunatly this is what my sat night has become and i have name changed

prioities are his physical health

check he doesn't ingest any vomit

no now not time for psychobabble and he's lost a baby-man,that's massively scraping the regression barrel

keep wee eye on him overnight

Okay it's pretty fucked up in a trainspotting kind of way.
And not nice when you are pregnant
but
You are going to end up with plenty of scenarios as grim when you have your baby. Plus I assume if you shit yourself giving birth you don't expect him to bring it up over and over do you? I am aware his is self-inflicted and he is a big baby you can do without
but
Unless he is an utter arse and this a red flag for you he won't be doing benders when the newborn's here will he?

So you have a choice of stripping your bed, remaking it and leaving him in the kid's bed with a notesaying he needs to get the washer on in the morning
or
You sleep on the sofa
or
You don some rubber gloves and stick everything on a hot wash.

No I wouldn't be impressed but I have dealt with a 5 year old shitting everywhere when sick, plus a baby pissing on my bed and doing a dirty protest in her playpen, plus my own DP in my younger days held back my hair many a time.

I have never shat myself - piss myself all the bloody time - that's what having kids did to me but - horror - I did wake up having crapped the bed once totally sober when I had food poisoning. My DP does not recall this at all - bless him he sleeps like the dead - and I was able to roll him over get everything swapped, in the washer and spent the rest of the evening/morning crying on the loo.

Your husband's predicament is not the same - as I said self-inflicted - but he cannot reason with you now and I doubt very much he has got up, bathed, changed beds in any state other than dazed and confused.

Blimey, sm, it's unusual for me to be harsher than you - but, as he was speaking when he climbed into OP's clean bed, and tried to take a bath, I reckon he wasn't unconscious and thus needs emergency care less than she needs sleep!

scottishmummy really? You expect the pregnant OP to sit there all night keeping tabs on the stinking heap? Go to a premier inn OP - those places are open all night.

Agree re recovery position - excellent thinking Scottishmummy.
I do assume you agree a hungover hopefully repentant DP is better than a choked-on-own-vomitwhileyouweremumsnetting DP...if not, you need to leave him now.

Empress, a bit of poo being passed in labour is hardly comparable to this shit-fest!

I expect a capeable adult to do basic first aid yes
he could ingest vomit and choke
now isn't time to get all I is wife hear me roar and do ignore the leave him crew

op put him in recovery position
when you're up again for baby, check he's ok
priority is his physical welfare

in morning, well afternoon. then talk about this

HandmaidenOfKong

Agreed - but shit is shit and everyone's stinks including the baby's to come.
Yes it sounds grim but that's what washing machines, removable covers and wet wipes are for.
Hell I would get a cab to a travel inn if I was pregnant and didn't want to wash my hands x amount of times.
Plus forget the sleeping on the sofa option - as it has shiot/skid marks on it too.
I am merely saying she has it all to come with an infant so could count this as a not-so dry run. Too soon?

Empress, sick children or pooing whilst giving birth are entirely different situations and not comparable at all.

Op, hope you find a nearby hotel. It sounds truly gross and I would not be clearing it up.

now isn't the time for the big hear me roar,close the door drama
put him in recovery position
get some Kip talk in morning

Agree with scottishmummy
and am aware it is not the same as is clear by my statement
Your husband's predicament is not the same

However, if this is the OP's breaking point then God help her when the baby comes.

But I am being unhelpful when SM has the best advice. Recovery, water, sleep.
Go to your bed, take off the sheets and duvet cover, dump them on the landing or a binbag or something and go back to bed with the window open if need be. It won't look better in the morning so suggest you take a duvet day until it does. Eventually never you may look back on this and laugh.

if nothing else ive had a giggle at some of these post so thank you millions.

i did actually think after the incontient dispo comment at least if i shit in labour his got nothing on me. expressno if i happen to poo in child birth i wouldnt expect him to tell anyone. just as i havent said anything to anyone about this came on mn to rant instead. however imo those two events would be like comparing chalk and cheese is it? may have got that wrong its late.

im aware ill have to deal with things like this when the baby arrives and when it grows up if ill etc. however im sure the actual quantity of crap will be much smaller and more contained to one room or nappy not the whole house at 1am.

yes he was definatly talking gave me a hug in bed told me he loved me loads etc. managed to run a bath and get in it. had the sense i guess to put shitty jeans in the washer.

yes sorry cant remember the name of poster but last time he was so smashed he wet himself walking up the stairs i thought that was horrific but compared to this... well it seems mild. although he is never normally sick. infact this may be the first time i remember him being sick ever.

however i have just been upstairs with a ten page note telling him what delights he has waiting for him. the kids rooms stinks like the nappy bin at work when it hasnt been emptied for a fortnight but his alive and sleeping on his side. although somewhere deep down i love him i do not love him enough right now to sit watching him sleep in a bed similiar to the bed i was happily laid in maybe three hours ago

lesson learned some on mn say leave him as stock answer to every drama
and he cannot hold his drink.you two need to talk in morning

So...go to that bed. Have you no spare bedding?
I hate barenaked mattresses.
Not keen on coverless duvets.
Is there anything you can use to lay down on - a throw or something?
If not - or you really cannot face stripping the bed -then you need a taxi and nearest Travellodge honey.
You cannot sleep at a kitchen table love.

But this is different. It's a grown man having such little respect for his pregnant wife he gets so shitfaced, excuse the pun. An I'll child cannot help it. A grown man can.

You do need to have axserious chat in the morning.

But more importantly, where are you going to sleep?

i clearly need sleep as missed those posts.

its not the actual crap itself that has me at breaking point right now. more the succession of events tonight on top of the other stuff going on around the house.

im not deluded in thinking that childrens shit doesnt stink im well expecting it to stink and tbh i change enough nappies at work to be aware it doesnt smell of roses. it was the 1am and a grown adult causing this much mess and drama i find harder to deal with.

thank you all for being here and posting made my night far more bearable

Make sure you leave his shitty clothes in a bag next to his head for him to sort out in the morning.

You poor thing - totally unacceptable behaviour. Hope you get sleep

I completely understand why you are at breaking point. If he was like this because of food poisoning or something you would feel differently I am sure.

Have you worked out a sleep plan?

x posts

no i have no spare bedding that i am able to get at atm its in the top of the built in wardrobe things opposite where dp is sleeping. i cant reach without the ladders and tbh i dont fancy the drama of him waking up. i have a fleece in the bedroom that i can use thankfully.

as someone mentioned i cant sleep on the sofa as that isnt in such a good state right now.

i am making my bed on the floor with a throw and my wonderful 6ft long pregnancy pillow which amazingly escaped the crap thankfully or he may well have ended up being hurt down there by me!

close...been there done that with the drunken OH although I wasn't preggers at the time. If you can bear to do as some of the pther posters suggest and strip the bed, put some nice new covers on and if you have anything like eucalyptus oil, Olbas oil or Tee tree oil put it somewhere in your room. will get rid of the smell for you. All the shitty stuff he's left gather it up (including his jeans they need scraping before they're washed otherwise your machine will stink to high heaven for ages (speaking from experience from ill children)) and leave iot all in teh room he's sleeping in.
In the morning don't hang about and wait for him to get up go out and have a chat to someone, go shopping anything to get away from the house til he's sorted it. Tell him that its his problem. It was his choice to get so drunk as to lose control of his bodily functions and not even realise what he was doing afterwards so part of that choice is dealing with the shit afterwards (excuse the pun)
You have my total sympathy and hope you have a good sleep and ge some good apologies (later) in the morning.
Currently waiting for my DH to come in from a beer trip and dreading it.

EmpressOfKong/HandmaidenOfKong at classic namechange! Sorry op but agree. Had a boyfriend that used to piss himself after drinking too much, he was mortified. Hopefully this will be a wake up call for him.

Newyear well i wish your night to be a non event, maybe just put up with a snoring dh.

as someone on the last page said he wasnt completely dead.he himself took the sheets of the bed in our room thankgod. he even took them down stairs and put them in the conservatory saying sorry.

this is half the reason im so mad. if he could do all of things things why the hell didnt he at least even attempt to wipe his arse before he came and laid next to me