'I'm not doing the school run'

[Quattrocento]

Announced DH, ten minutes ago. Tuesdays are his day, and not mine. I take a deep breath, for I am booked on a 7am flight (which means check-in at 6am and getting up at 5am) which he knew all about, well in advance.

I ask him why. He tells me he does not have to explain himself. Which I think means that he has no good reason for not taking them. Before you ask, there is zero public transport, it's 8 miles away and too far to walk/cycle and all available lifts seem to be taking extended half-terms.

He is being a twat of the first order, and I have no idea why. I've booked a taxi for the DCs, so that problem is solved, despite it not being my problem to solve. But I am concerned about DH's general twattishness here.

So tell me why my husband is being a twat. I'd like to know.

[Fairenuff]

Why is he sulking? Did you have a row? Is he not happy about you going away? There must surely be some clue as to why he's behaving like this if it's out of character.

[AnyFucker]

a brain tumour perhaps ?

[Quattrocento]

He is sulking. He does sulk. I have absolutely no idea why he is sulking today though. Frankly, I have worked a full day (ten hours with travelling on top), done three loads of washing, cooked a meal, commiserated with DD about not winning something or other, washed and tidied up and packed for tomorrow and I cannot be arsed with DH being in a sulk for some obscure reason. Perhaps that's it? I cannot be arsed with DH right now. But he is an adult, isn't he?

[AgnesBligg]

I would have booked a taxi for them myself because some things need to happen, ie kids need to get to school. I would need to make something happen myself because I can't allow the blasted ship to falter over someone else's twattishness.

[PurplePidjin]

What was said before his pronouncement? Where you arguing? Conversing normally?

[AnyFucker]

Quattro, I don't know how you tolerate it < shakes head in mystified manner >

[Quattrocento]

It really was totally out of the blue. We had eaten, had a friend around briefly which is relatively unusual midweek, but everything was fine. I'd sorted out everything so he didn't have to do anything, including the DC's homework and got them into bed. I was catching up on emails at around 10.30, and he sticks his neck around the door of my study and announces he isn't doing the school run. Tuesdays is his blasted day and we have a long-standing arrangement that if we can't do our days, because of work or whatever, we arrange what happens for the DCs.

[historyrepeats]

leave the bastard.

[abbierhodes]

But Agnes, would you really expect him not to take them? I'd assume he was bluffing.

Why would anyone be in a relationship with someone so unreasonable? I truly don't understand this.

[abbierhodes]

Well then, stick with the arrangement. Assume he has something else sorted.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Sounds like a test to see how you will react.

What else is going on?

[Quattrocento]

But he didn't have anything sorted. I asked him what he was planning to do. He told me it was up to me to sort it out (why? It was his day) and exited triumphantly. I think I would like to punch him right now.

[3littlefrogs]

He sounds mean, spiteful, selfish and a rotten father.

Does he resent you having a career?

[Bohica]

Did you not challenge him and find out why he thinks it's normal just to stop taking children to school?

Does he resent you going away with work?

[historyrepeats]

Its easy to SAH, sorry quatt.

[Jux]

I can't make up my mind between twat or AF's suggestion of brain tumour. On the whole I think twat, probably. Have you thought of asking him very solicitously if he is feeling quite well?

Maybe he's booked a taxi for them too. Is it possible that he's waited all evening for a quiet moment to tell you that something's come up?

Otherwise, yes, twat. Made up my mind now.

[solidgoldbrass]

Well he's behaving very badly and and the aim of his behaviour is to upset, annoy and inconvenience you. Often this sort of behaviour is meant to teach a woman that she Doesn't Know Her Place, he's trying to demonstrate to you that he is the Man and therefore his whims should be indulged and you should never forget his superiority.
I'd advise taking an extra day on your business trip, and informing him of this around the time he's expecting you back home. And adding that you don't have to explain yourself to him.

Do you think it's safe to do that ie he's not actually going to abandon the DC or harm them?

[historyrepeats]

How old are the dcs?

[abbierhodes]

OK, do you think he really would have just left them at home?

[Heleninahandcart]

It doesn't really matter what his excuse is. If he had a real reason he would have discussed it with you. You have been working your arse off at work and at home, I think you are doing the right thing by not bothering to try and appease engage with His Sulkyness. I also think you did the right thing by ordering a taxi as it has taken the wind out of his sulky sails and at least you know the children will be going to school safely in your absence.

Safe trip OP, hope you get a good nights sleep.

[pictish]

Agree with SGB. It's all an excersise in control.

[QuintessentialyHollow]

I agree with sgb. Call him last minute and tell him you have extended your trip and ask him to sort it out.

You need to reassert yourself.

[3littlefrogs]

That is fine up to a point. But the poor DC are in the middle of this. What must they be thinking/feeling?

[pictish]

And how low he is to use the kids to make his pathetic point.