ML, you know me, right ? I have been with you (on MN) right from the beginning of this, yeah ? I missed your posts from last week as I was away.
Please don't take a break from here. Stick around a bit longer. What I want you to do is to make an appt with your GP first thing in the morning, and make sure you attend. Tell him/her exactly what you have told us...you are not eating, you have racing thoughts, you cannot sleep and cannot eat.
Then when you have done that, come back and tell us. Then tell us how it goes.
The prostitute thing ? How could you have known that ? What are you, a mindreader ? Yes, he is not looking a like a great man now but why would you think otherwise before all this ? if we all had the benefit o hindsight none of us would ever make a mistake, nor trust someone that ultimately lets us down.
Your h has let you down in the most vile and basic ways. he is still doing so. The child safety issues in his care are a massive worry to you (and to me)
but ML, if you lose it now, you will take your eye off the ball
don't let him do that to you
you can still stay yourself, with some help from the GP probably in the form of anti-anxiety or anti depressant meds
so what if it comes to that ? Everybody needs extra help sometimes. the thing is, your H needs help but he won't acknowledge it. The best thing you could do is accpet that help for yourself, so that you can look out for kids
if need be, ring your sister tonight just to hear a voice
if that isn't working, ring The Samaritans for a listening ear until you can get to the gp
you ae frightening me a little bit with how close to the edge you sound, but listen, you can hang on, because you don't fancy the alternative, right ?
that a man could bring you so low
don't let him do that to you, he has done his worst, let everything else wash over you
please stick around and tell us how you are x