Ml, I dont doubt that he is contrite and sorry, I doubt it is a calculated act. And given his current mental health.
However, it isnt good enough, is it?
After what he has put you through, I still dont think he gets it. He just doesnt want the work it would take to srt this out properly.
Much easier for him to 1. lie, 2. move on to self pity and drama, not least to distract you, 3. tantrums and car stuff in front of the kids (ie angry now, that he isnt getting his own way, and then 4. abject apologies.
Thos sorts of responses are all about how he is dealing with his own feelings and discomfort^. Nothing there about you, really, at all, is there?
I dont think it is mature of him to expect forgiveness now, and the hard work later. Also, I expect the next line would be 'oh, there is no point in working on myself unless you take me back, etc'.
It is a form of selfishness. And also, it is an act of immaturity.
He needs to sort himself out because he wants to and sees the need, and to explain to himself the whole truth, all of it, and why he did this, and behaved in this way. Isnt that what taking responsibility is about, starting with taking responsibility for yourself?
He has a great many problems to fix, and he needs to get cracking on them, one at a time. And then come to offer you his apology, if you want to hear it by then.
As Aussiebean has said, action not words. There are no shortcuts for him out of this mess.