So he kissed a girl....

[MomentarilyLost]

I started a thread about discovering my husband sending dirty emails to women and then going on to discover he had signed up to dating sites, singles chat rooms and had a secret facebook account.

All this has been going on during office hours.

So through means I am not proud of I have had the confirmation he has been sleeping with someone for two years. Another girl has told me they met and kissed.

I feel sick.

I feel stupid I didnt see this coming.

and do you know what..? the bastard still denies it.

I dont know how I will get through these coming days?

My poor children, I can barely talk at the minute

Any advice on how to pull myself together would be greatly received

The ring is to mess with your head. He sounds very controlling.

You really need to detach from him, no texts and contact only about child access.

Of course it is odd

it's a calculated head fuck

your mistake was to ask him why he put the ring back on, you should have ignored his little bit of drama

That great mn mantra:

"detach, detach!"

I am watching my zombies.

But can't settle.

Ex has been texting and saying how he loves me again last week and has been going on and on about how he thinks I am seeing someone (i am not,got other things on my mind).

Then today while I was in the park with my friend and our children he text to ask if I was seeing someone with dark hair and dark eyes. Am I right in feeling wierded out by that, given his questionable mental health recently. Don't know if I am just working myself up?

Yes, strange question. But surely a 'red herring' - it's irrelevant, isn't it? I think it's calculated to encourage you to respond to him - by implying that he has information about you and who you could be seeing.

Sure, it's intriguing to wonder what he's getting at, but seeing as you're not seeing anyone it can only be bait for you, to draw you into replying to him.

Anyway, naturally it's none of his business if you're seeing someone, whatever colour their hair or eyes! You've done well to get this far - ignore him as long as you possibly can.

My dealings with him have only been based on the dc. Then he slips him this rubbish.

I think I struggle because I just don't get the mind set.

Slips in

Attention-seeking. He obviously doesn't like the purely dc-related communication. Shame for him....

why try to understand ?

unless you want to get sucked back in

because that is what this arsehattery is designed to do

Ok I get that, I think . Some times I do need things spelling out. He had also been texting about how he has been listening to a band I like (he never liked them when we were together and would never listen to them) but now he gets why I liked them.

Keep with the detach detach detach

you are getting sucked back in

I can feel it in my water...

you are intrigued

that is the first step in re-engaging

cultivate disinterest, it will serve you well

It's odd because I don't feel love for him anymore. I just feel numb and indifferent when he communicates with me at the time it happens.
But there does seem to be a build up from what he tells me and I don't know how to deal with that

Tell him again the only communication you will accept from him is in relation to dc and nothing more

anything else will be ignored/binned

and mean it

it's one thing to say to yourself "I don't love him any more" but a very dangerous pastime to test that by engaging with his nonsense

Still learning how to get through this I guess.

Stop being a dumb ass.

Catchy

don't give up the day job < sigh >

study leave has started

Hi ML

Moving house tomorrow, so busy as hell here (only a local move).

Detach detach!

ooo, good luck with the move, five

I don't envy you that, in this heat

Done envy myself, AF. Laryngitis and really bad cold (cant even talk, let alone shout) , list as long as my arm, loads to do, etc etc.

Help arriving at 10!

Hope today went well five, and best of luck with tomorrow x

Had a bit of crap news about my hb. Had my meeting today and I have now been told they will initially pay the full rent amount and then it will drop considerably in a couple of months. Ll has already put the rent up recently and everyone I spoke to when claiming said that the full rent would be covered. I could fucking kick myself, how stupid of me to leave myself such a vulnerable position, I should never have given up my studies to stay at home with the children. I was already looking into getting back to my studies this year before this shit hit and now I don't really know what to think.

Knocked me a little, feeling rather weepy tonight. And crapping myself a bit. I really don't want to have to leave our home.

I am not in a good frame of mind. I need to quit the self pity.

Sorry about this blow, ML

I know zilch about housing benefit, so can't advise you

You are entitled to feel sorry for youself though, there is nothing wrong with that.

It just feels crap feeling sorry for myself because I had been doing so well.

Still allowed my wobbles every now and again I suppose.

A little bit of fear is creeping in and I don't like it.