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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Cannot believe what dp has just asked me

182 replies

nutcracker · 25/01/2006 13:51

Howcome, I won't wear thongs for him but wore one to work the other night ?

For christ sakes, so now he is checking what knickers I wore to work

I wear what ever bloody knickers I pull out of the drawer, I don't save certain ones for certain people, for christs sake.

He obviously thinks I have a quick fumble in the broom cupboard or something.

OP posts:
nutcracker · 28/01/2006 23:20

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Rhubarb · 28/01/2006 23:22

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nutcracker · 28/01/2006 23:23

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alexsmum · 28/01/2006 23:23

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alexsmum · 28/01/2006 23:24

but if he won't leave, then you have to. it's bricks and mortar at the end of day- you will be happy elsewhere.

fairydust · 28/01/2006 23:26

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nutcracker · 28/01/2006 23:26

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rickman · 28/01/2006 23:26

Message withdrawn

Rhubarb · 28/01/2006 23:28

No, you don't have to move out, he moves out. You don't ask him you tell him. You go for a divorce and you change the locks, perfectly legal. You are the one with the kids so you are the one who is entitled to the house.

fairydust · 28/01/2006 23:30

she could tell him till she's blue in the face i know her dp there's no way he'd move out.

rickman · 28/01/2006 23:32

Message withdrawn

Original poster
nutcracker · 28/01/2006 23:34

You have to prove abuse and since he is not battering me I can't.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 28/01/2006 23:35

My b-i-l got kicked out of his house by his wife. She turned to him one day (obviously been planning for a while) and told him that he had 2 weeks to move out and if he didn't he'd never see the kids again. He still doesn't know what triggered it. They'd been going to Relate (his suggestion) but after that he thought things were back on track, he took her out every weekend, booked all the holidays, bought her nice things, etc etc, he is a very nice bloke. She changed the locks and told him that access to his kids was limited. He went the legal way and there was nothing, absolutely nothing he could do about it. If that can happen to him, a perfectly lovely guy, then why the hell shouldn't she kick out this creep?

LadySherlockofLGJ · 28/01/2006 23:35

Surely abuse, can be mental as well as physical ??

rickman · 28/01/2006 23:36

Message withdrawn

Rhubarb · 28/01/2006 23:36

My mum got an annulment on her marriage because of emotional abuse. Shame I can't do the same thing with her!!!!!

Original poster
nutcracker · 28/01/2006 23:39

I need to sit down and get a few things sorted out in my head i think before i start anything.

He will be the one that leaves, that i do know.

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 28/01/2006 23:40

We are not married by the way.

OP posts:
fairydust · 28/01/2006 23:40

i'll just tell him your shagging the 19 old from work that might work

Original poster
nutcracker · 28/01/2006 23:41

PMSL (shhhhhh that is supposed to be a secret )

OP posts:
fairydust · 28/01/2006 23:41

"We are not married by the way" so if he asks me to help choose a ring i'll say no

Original poster
nutcracker · 28/01/2006 23:42

ROFL yeah

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 28/01/2006 23:44

Not married? Even easier! Just get then tenancy in your name. Your rent can be paid with benefits.

expatinscotland · 28/01/2006 23:50

Is he still working? If not and you are, all the more reason for them to change the tenancy to your name.

See the CAB and housing officer. I'm sure they've seen this situation loads of times before. They might be able to suggest a way that hasn't crossed our minds yet.

It's free to visit them, nutty, can't hurt!

See, he didn't want you to work b/c it meant losing control over you.

Original poster
nutcracker · 28/01/2006 23:51

No he still works too.

O h he hates me working I know it.

He reckons i am meeting up with all the blokes from work on my night out.

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