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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Cannot believe what dp has just asked me

182 replies

nutcracker · 25/01/2006 13:51

Howcome, I won't wear thongs for him but wore one to work the other night ?

For christ sakes, so now he is checking what knickers I wore to work

I wear what ever bloody knickers I pull out of the drawer, I don't save certain ones for certain people, for christs sake.

He obviously thinks I have a quick fumble in the broom cupboard or something.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 27/01/2006 12:06

Do you want to borrow my meat cleaver Nutty?

Original poster
nutcracker · 27/01/2006 12:06

LOL LGJ, did you think I would bite your head off ??

Harry doesn't start school until 2007 Emma.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 27/01/2006 12:07

You have girls I think, Nutty?

Are you happy for them to grow up with this man as their role model of what relationships should be like?

You are not being selfish by leaving him - I know that if my mother had wrotten the things about my father that you have, I'd not have wanted him in my life or hers.

Leave him.

hunkermunker · 27/01/2006 12:08

Of course, you have a DS - even more reason for him not to see this kind of behaviour day to day - imagine how you'll feel if he grows up treating women this way.

tiredemma · 27/01/2006 12:09

oh, thought he was older ( he looks older on the pics!)

really though, what is the absolute worse thing that could come out of you giving him the boot?
( not being able to go to work is NOT one of them!!)

Original poster
nutcracker · 27/01/2006 12:10

Oh yes please Rhubarb

Mancmum - I always think she must find it so hilarious that she got out and i'm still here.

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 27/01/2006 12:11

Message withdrawn

lou33 · 27/01/2006 12:11

dump his arse

hunkermunker · 27/01/2006 12:11

wrotten?! Er...written.

Original poster
nutcracker · 27/01/2006 12:12

He's a december baby Em, so misses this septembers intake.

Ds is one of things I worry about. I would hate him to grow up to be like his dad.

I worry also that dp would do something stupid and the kids would blame me.

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 27/01/2006 12:12

Message withdrawn

cod · 27/01/2006 12:12

Message withdrawn

Blackduck · 27/01/2006 12:13

{hijack} ggg - when's it published?

Nutty - get rid of him - you are worth more...

hunkermunker · 27/01/2006 12:14

Nutty, DP's already doing very stupid things.

Can you tell him you're going unless he agrees to counselling? His behaviour is not normal.

lou33 · 27/01/2006 12:16

doesnt matter nutty, kids will think whatever they like right now, but when they are older they will realise the truth

mine tell me stuff like i ruined their life, etc, but i havent, and they know that

proof of this os because they come and say sorry afterwards

i think you are in more danger of fuc*ing them up by staying with him tbh

Original poster
nutcracker · 27/01/2006 12:16

Have done ggg

Cod, i am a bit confused now, but then i generally am when you post

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 27/01/2006 12:18

Very true Lou. I told my mom I hated her many a time, but i naver meant it.

OP posts:
QE2 · 27/01/2006 12:18

nutty, we have spoken about this before and it was dead spooky how alike we were if you remember?!

I too, left home under a cloud at 18, my relationship with my father seemingly unsaveable. Met and moved in with dh who was 29 within about 2 weeks, I too was coping with bulimia - dh at the time was the shoulder to cry on I needed and the one person who agreed with me what an arse my dad was.

I thought it was sweet that he wanted to always be with me, didn't like me going out, hated me going out in short skirts - I looked upon him as the father figure I desperately wanted my dad to be but wasn't at that time.

Fast forward a few years. I gradually became increasingly pissed off with his behaviour and his possessiveness, it was stifling. He gradually wore away my self esteem, made me feel ugly. I grew to resent him and with the support of my dad (by then our relationship had got back on track) I left him and have never looked back.

You know deep down that the relationship will not last - it's just a question of when you will take the plunge. When you do, you will wonder why you didn't do it years ago.

cod · 27/01/2006 12:18

Message withdrawn

Original poster
nutcracker · 27/01/2006 12:20

Yep QE2 our stories are spookily similar, and you are right, I already wish i'd done it years ago.

Cod - The baby thread got deleted.

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 27/01/2006 12:21

Got to go nursery now xxxxx

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 28/01/2006 14:36

God he is in a foul mood today, moaning and picking at anything and everything. Glad i am at work tonight.

I am thinking he will get worse the closer friday gets, so I plan to have the house spic and span so there will be nothing to criticise me on (he still will though i know), and then go and enjoy myself

OP posts:
tiredemma · 28/01/2006 14:40

what did he say about your impending night out?

Original poster
nutcracker · 28/01/2006 14:42

He said 'oh right', but has been in foul mood since, surprise surprise.

My bet is, he will mention it again tommorow at my dads, probably looking for some support from my dad (he won't get it).
Then he won't mention it again until around thursday, and then on Friday he will kick off.

OP posts:
tiredemma · 28/01/2006 14:51

dont rise to it, you had best go out nutty. show him that you do have a mind of your own and that you are not bloody 55 yrs old - waiting to die.of boredom.

where are you going?