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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

To have texted DPs friend pretending to be him?

907 replies

JamRagRolyPoly · 11/02/2012 13:48

DP got in at 5am last night, saw a text on his phone (he was there when I was looking for texts from me) from his friend saying 'strip club round the cormer' Hmm.

I outright asked him, did you go? He said no. He knows I'm very much against them. Now I'm wondering if he can lie to my face.

While he's in the shower I texted his friend pretending to be DP saying 'great night last night, how was the strip club' so his friend could potentially text back saying er you were there mate remember?

Aibu to want to know if my DP is capable of lying to my face? This troubles me more than the strip club, because then it's like, what else?

(I know tis sounds very childish btw)

OP posts:
notfluffyatall · 14/02/2012 18:18

"I am always truly amazed when women post on these threads saying they happy for their husbands to go strip clubs-"

Why is that? Should we keep our opinions to ourselves? That's quite pompous.

TheParan0idAndr0id · 14/02/2012 18:21

No, its more that you are deluded, strange women who support the ongoing exploitation and objectification of other women. But hey, if thats your bag, what does it matter to you what we think?

notfluffyatall · 14/02/2012 18:22

It doesn't, I was challenging the woman who felt I shouldn't voice what I think Smile

ArosstheUniverse · 14/02/2012 19:12
Grin

Just because some of you choose to turn a blind eye or have incredibly low expectations of your other halves doesn't mean we all do.

I don't think the OP needed to read some of the utter crap posted on here so yes, maybe some people should keep their opinions to themselves (all in my opinion, of course)

runningforthebusinheels · 14/02/2012 19:22

You shouldn't have fluffy. OP is in in distress and made her opinions on strip clubs clear from the start.

There are other threads on MN at this very moment that are talking about LPD in general terms, and your opinions would be welcome on there I'm sure.

Why you would want to add to another woman's distress I don't know.

PeptoAbysmol · 14/02/2012 19:35

Im here, still reading. Doing ok. Feeling less angry, it's less raw but still stings.

Been really I'll with a cold, probably run down.

I came home tonight, just having a quiet dinner in and talking.

Thank you RIC and others x

PeptoAbysmol · 14/02/2012 19:36

Sorry I name changed yesterday as I realised he knows my username

Sparks1 · 14/02/2012 19:45

I don't think the OP needed to read some of the utter crap posted on here

I quite agree. Unsubstantiated claims to attempt to back up supposed feminist views are never a good thing...

Good to see the usual " you can have an opinion but only if you agree with me" crowd are in tonight. Sod reasoned debate or someone else's viewpoint. The horror really would kill you wouldn't it. The irony is in the hypocrisy.

anastaisia · 14/02/2012 19:57

Does it matter who people agree with? The OP said SHE had an issue with it at the very start. She is entitled to have an issue with it. And even if she didn't she is entitled to want support about the lying and lack of respect REGARDLESS of whether people agree with her views on lap dancing clubs - no one needs to try and convince her it's okay for her partner to go to them because they aren't that bad - that wouldn't cancel out the fact he ignored her views and was dishonest.

notfluffyatall · 14/02/2012 19:58

Sparks1

This ^^

When alternative viewpoints are actually banned, I'll stop.

notfluffyatall · 14/02/2012 20:00

By 'this' I meant I'm in full agreement with Sparks1

Sparks1 · 14/02/2012 20:03

Does it matter who people agree with? The OP said SHE had an issue with it at the very start. She is entitled to have an issue with it. And even if she didn't she is entitled to want support about the lying and lack of respect REGARDLESS of whether people agree with her views on lap dancing clubs - no one needs to try and convince her it's okay for her partner to go to them because they aren't that bad - that wouldn't cancel out the fact he ignored her views and was dishonest.

First of all, it was a AIBU thread, therefore opinion is not only implied but a given.

Secondly, when posters start posting that people with an opposing view are x,y and Z then it's quite right those with an opposing view have a right to reply.

If it was a "support" thread i might have some sympathy with your argument.

AnyFucker · 14/02/2012 20:03

glad to see you still around, pepto

just ignore the bits that are of no use to you x

runningforthebusinheels · 14/02/2012 20:05

Quite, anastaisia

Nice to see you back, op. Hope you're ok.

AnyFucker · 14/02/2012 20:06

sparks, it appears to have escaped your notice that even though this thread started in AIBU, it was very quickly moved to relationships when it was felt the OP was getting an unfair kicking

so continuing to say "well she did post in AIBU, what did she expect ?" seems rather mean and un necessary

Sparks1 · 14/02/2012 20:14

Take your point AF.

However i wasn't aware AIBU had the monopoly on opinion. I offered my opinion and mis guided advice to the OP on the way forward and i maintain it. If she really is that "devastated" and "disgusted" by his actions she should leave him because things would quite clearly be that irreconcilable.

One question, one answer. Some things in life really are that simple. Honestly they are.

runningforthebusinheels · 14/02/2012 20:21

Relationships is a support forum - even in her original AIBU the op didn't ask 'AIBU to hate strip clubs' did she? If she had then you may have had a point.

AnyFucker · 14/02/2012 20:25

this continued wrangling isn't helping the Op though is it ?

by some stretch, she is still here despite the stick she got (that says more about her than it does about the people who tried to tell her she was over reacting)

can't everybody shut up now about their opinions, we have exhausted that dead horse, surely ?

Sparks1 · 14/02/2012 20:38

Is it RFTB?! I must have missed that that was the MO of this board...

She didn't get stick AF ( in the main) She got a difference of opinion. Which is exactly what you get when you post on an open forum.

I will concede that the debate part has passed and i certainly wouldn't engage again on that front. But as i said you can't expect people to label others morally wrong etc etc when they voice their opinion and not get a response from those they are condemning. It works both ways.

Believe it or not i hope the OP makes the right decision and is ultimately happy with it.

AnyFucker · 14/02/2012 20:50

RFTB ?

I believe your last sentence, sparks, but won't engage with the rest as it is a matter of opinion

AnyFucker · 14/02/2012 20:51

the Op namechanged, sparks, and clearly signposted it

but you were a bit too busy to notice Smile

Sparks1 · 14/02/2012 20:54

Running for the bus...

Touche AF!

PeptoAbysmol · 14/02/2012 22:50

I really don't mind if people have a difference of opinion, I've already stated that I was ready for that as this is the internet.

I've had a few friends, male and female tell me I've overreacted and to 'let him off now' as he's sorry etc and it's not a big deal.

I've also has others say they can see why I'm so hurt. Just like on here, difference of opinion

AnyFucker · 14/02/2012 23:00

The decision is yours, ultimately

flippinada · 15/02/2012 10:34

Some people just have to be right don't they? I mean, who cares if there's a real person behind the screen being trashed and having their distress mocked and dismissed? FFS.

Pepto, take care.