and sorry - mrs cello - i didnt answer your question about what i get out of ykw ( being off work today ive got a bit of time)
Well, i do actually get a lot.This is going to sound so lame - but hes sort of my sliding doors momment into a different life, that i could have had should i have made some different choices. Its also strange, because it seems we frequented a lot of the same places in the last 15 years or so, probably just missed each other.
Also - he sees me differently to anyone else. Im a different me, We can talk about things, like culture and politics and art etc... and hes neither intimidated by me when i do, nor belittles my opions - ive never found anyone i can talk to on the same level. I have an awful habit of hiding that side of me, because i learnt early on that people dont like it, but he does. so i feel very free and accepted for me, which is very very nice. He sees past the ' me' that i present.
Also - i do know that should i really need him, he would be there. Hes helped me through various problems, death in the family, an operation, redundancy, money issues, i cant even remember the whole list. because he ' sees me' i can be totally open about everythign and say things that you wouldnt dream of saying really.
Being a sometimes shallow person, i also quite like the fact that im friends with someone who is doing so well ( shames me to admit that, but it is true) and while part of me likes it the other part has panicked and felt out of my league when ive been invited to dinners with tv presenters and such with him.
I do give the same back to him, or something at least. But least not forget, he is an arse, who has messed me about and then told a massive, massive lie.