The honing of the twat radars - dating chat thread number 9

[lubeybooby]

Thread got too big so here's a new one :o

All dating, online or otherwise in here please

Chit chat to serious stuff - off we go!

time excellent! buy yourself something lovely. You can definitely use them online ( I won some before, a very long time ago and not on MN)

more snow?

Thank you Snape, that's a relief because the nearest store to me is Manchester, bit far to go without a car.

It's raining here now, no snow in sight.

Ooh, thanks Zany. That looks brilliant. Why didn't I know about that?
I'd love to see the Bromley House Garden and some of the other events sound excellent!

I have date no. 2 (w/c 6/2/12) tomorrow, but perhaps I will look spontaneous and exciting if I drag him along!

Snow can just piss right off, I have too many plans.

Feedback - report him. He is a nasty person and will maybe hurt someone more than he hurt you. I reported one that was abusive by text, not much happened but I felt safer after

Linerunner, I didn't have a photo up for a while, hotbutdim contacted me at that time. I did have a pic hidden that I sent him once we started chatting. Block all the arseholes and the ones you don't want to chat to

Watch, have you tried ignoring YKW? He doesn't sound like you need him in your life at all, what do you get out of it? Keep enjoying the teacher instead

Time, well done on the win! The whole point of spare money is to get something that you wouldn't have got without it, so a combi micro is perfect

I didn't meet with the cop or the youngun yesterday as work for all got in the way. Met Cop today instead. Very nice, very tall! yay Possibly going for a drink on saturday night

Going to drink my wine with hotbutdim tonight

I keep thinking I'm juggling too many but I haven't found anyone for more than casual stuff and that's what I said I wanted. I know I will be judged by some but I am a fat 44 year old, with 4 grown up kids who has been single for 12 years

My daughter really made me laugh tonight, I text her to say I'm going out to HBD's house and she text back... don't be silly and wrap his willy She's 21, I think my days of hiding my exploits have gone

I think it's helps to have more than one casual arrangement running concurrently, makes it easier to play it cool and not get attached to anyone (

Do you mean a convection microwave Time? I had a nice small convection microwave but it blew up. I miss the thing. It came with the house (here in Australia we leave things like stoves, bathroom cupboards, carpets and curtains behind when we move house but my Brit friends tell me they used to take those things with them to the new house). Because I'm in what used to be a semi-rural holiday village kind of suburb we have no mains gas. Bottled gas is about the same price as mains gas but appliances for propane are very expensive so all I have is a piece of shit electric cooktop and a normal microwave. All the newer convection microwaves are 1000W, cost at least AUD$700 and you have to leave 4" all round and 8" above them so half your kitchen cupboard space is taken up by the microwave unless you can sit it on a benchtop. I ended up buying a bbq with a hood so I could do roasts and lasagnes!

lovesadirtylie - more than one casual arrangement? Luxury! I dream of a semi-regular connection with someone a bit attractive and vaguely normal rather than the quarterly pity shag with some desperate scrubber that seems to be par for the course! :)

Sigh. Am neither snowed in nor had a good time. Never mind, tomorrow is another day. :)

the bloke didnt float your boat DM?
oh well...I find that 80% of people I meet just arent my cup of tea.

PoppaRob the girls have the aces when it comes to casual dating..purely on account of being vastly outnumbered by the blokes.
I still manage to mostly make a pigs ear of things tho

Great on paper - in person, ZERO charisma and it was a bit hard work.
That and the fact that I find it hard to judge people's ages notwithstanding, I think he was at least 5-10 years older than me, not the same age.
Hard life or long paper round, you decide? Looked old, anyway.
And I think he was probably drink driving.
2 and a half hours and I beat a retreat.

Perhaps I need to lie about my age and go for some younger ones.
See, I've had a glass of wine since I've been in and I'm all brave now.

There were some hot young workmen at the bar, and I found myself wishing I was with them. They looked like fun. :(

damn, 2 and a half hours of your life that you'll never get back!
Seems to me that guys over 40 lie about their age quite often.

I dont think it's necessary for women to lie..I'm 46, I get lots of offers from men in their 20's and 30's.
I'm really not keen if they are under 30 though

Bullshit! Women lie about their age on dating sites all the time. I've met several who admitted to being over 50 but trimmed their age back to 45 or 46 because they said guys had 50 as an upper limit. In one case a woman had trimmed 13 years off her age, but according to her she hadn't changed that much so it was ok! :)

It's the same with the ones who say they're 5'6" but then turn out to be 5'0", or the "average" body size that turns out to be a size 20, or you're doing the right thing not ducking out for a smoke 'cos her profile says "Never smoke" and when you finally make an excuse and say you're off for a quick fag they come with you and light up a smoke from their half full pack of 40's! When we make small adjustments to the truth on our own profiles we call it a slight exaggeration to maximise outcomes. When people of the opposite sex do it we call it a lie!

I've always wanted to ask what is 'average body size'?

I assumed it meant in proportion to your height.

Steady on PoppaRob, we're only speaking from personal experience. I don't think any of us have actual statistics on this subject.

And lovesa said she didn't think it was necessary for women to lie, not that they never do.

Because on PoF you seem to have the option of

athletic

average

or

big/a few pounds over?

It's largely dependent on height, but as you say, just what is really normal? In today's world the Mona Lisa would probably be described as "curvy" and Reuben's models would be classified as morbidly obese. If someone like Liz Hurley were to arrive in 16th century Rome the women would have thought she was ill and called for the priest, the doctor and a huge bowl of spaghetti alla putanesca! :)

The woman of 5'0" who I mentioned was quite roly poly so I'd describe her as "a bbw / ample / obese" depending on what the site allowed). When she ducked off to the loo and it started to rain I picked up her cardigan from the back of the bench she'd been sitting on and it said 24. If she'd been 5'10" she would have been "ample", although clinically she would still be obese. Athletic to me means having the body of an athlete, but are we talking a Chinese gymnast, a European track cyclist, a Romanian shot-putter or one of the Williams sisters?

Aussie dress and bra sizes are slightly different to UK sizes, so an Aussie size 10 or 12 (UK 8-10) would be considered average for women of average height. If a woman was a size 6-8 (UK 4-6) I'd say she's slim/thin/gaunt/in need of palliative care. For a woman between 5'2" and 5'7" I'd say a 10-12 (UK 8-10) is average, for a woman 5'8" and over a 12-14 (UK 10-12) is average. A woman who was a dress size up on that would be "a few extra pounds", another size up and she's "ample" or "bbw". Of course you girls have boobs to contend with, and that changes the impression of a woman's size and shape. Let's say the 5'7" average girl has average sized boobs (Aussie 12C, UK 34D), but then pop those same boobs onto Ms Five Foot Nothing and she's Dolly Parton. Pop them onto Ms Five Foot Ten and she'd say she was flat chested. Give either of our women Beyonce's arse or the arse of a 14 year old boy and once again average goes out the window.

The solution would be to have little pictures showing the outline of the body type with supplementary pics for arse and boobs for a few height ranges, and to be fair to everyone if the girls are going to have to select their bits then we blokes should have pics for stomach, arse, chest and dick. Kind of like an identikit photo!

On OkC I'm "full figured", on Oasis I'm "larger", on PoF I"m "big and tall/bbw", but in reality I'm "morbidly obese".

mrs cello - im not judging you at all :) I think so long as you are happy, and in control, and having fun ( while being safe) and doing what you want to do, then its all fab :)
I was talking about this to a male friend the other day, he was saying, and i agree, that its much easier to find someone you fancy, who you want to fuck. Finding somone you like, who you want to spend time with, is much, much harder.

dating - sorry it was a bit flat, that tends to be the case more often than not.

snape - good luck for your date later.

The teacher is coming later. DD was up half the night with an awful cold, but hell will freeze over before i can stop her going to her aunties for the night. She is so unbelieveably excited. Shes not so bad this morning, so a lazy morning and afternoon should see her a bit better. Have cancelled her swimming lesson as well. Am excited, i like having lots of sex :)

rob- either aussies are all very thin, or your figures are slightly out. I know a fair few aussies, varing heights and not one of them is a size 8 or a 10. The adverage uk size is a 16 at the momment, or, 18 - 20 aussies size ( if ive worked that out). Which is not fat, just adverage. Seeing as most of us on this board are about a 14 ish, or a 16-18 aussie size, you have just labelled all of us as ' ample'
I have played about with my settings, i put myself as ' a few extra lbs' once, and i got a ton of emails, and a few dates, being very confused, because i didnt fall under that catergory. Yet, according to your scale, well, i would be off it.
while i may be on the curvey side, i have never had anyone complain. Lets not forget that people fancy people of all shapes and sizes and for lots of different reasons, it certainley does not boil down to just body shape, looks or fat %. If id did the majority of the world would never be in relationships.

I do hope you are being tongue in cheek about the identikit pics. So i wont comment any further.

Morning everyone

Sorry your date wasn't very good dating not the best impression to drink/drive on a first date.

Agree with you poppa that some sizes are small on someone who is tall but the same size clothes on a shorter person is a whole different body shape. I personally wouldn't want to be with someone with a smaller waist than me.

Butterflies Watch ?

I have had an awful nights sleep as DD has been awake coughing in my ear all night and I think I've fallen out with Mr Yacht. He was quizzing me as to whether I have ever had a fwb and then got a bit jealous when I said I had in the past and wanted to know details, did I still see him and did that mean its OK for him to still see his ex's. Feels like I'm being controlled as to who its OK for me to see which I don't like.

yeah zany - if im just going on a looks basis, i tend to fancy smaller men, russel brand build, you know. However, i know that in actualy fact, in the bedroom, i really like someone a lot stronger, who is going to throw me around a lotbit. So, looks, and what i actually like are two different things.

I may be a little excited, but at this momment thats just lust talking.

Zany - how did that conversation come about then? How did he react when you said you had? and why does it even matter? Was he saying the point about seeing ex's to prove a point in an agrument? or was it just random?

He said something the other day, I think he asked me how a 'friends with benefits' worked, I was quite vague as I didn't want to jump up and down saying I've had one, he then asked me who it was with last night, after talking for abour an hour about our future/moving in/kids etc. He admits he feels jealous and didn't seem happy that I still see this guy when I'm in a relationship but obviously nothing happens. I think he was asking about him meeting up with an ex so that I would see how it feels.

but how can he feel jealous when it was from before you had even met?
That makes no sense at all.
So what if you still see the man - doesnt mean anything. Im very good friends with an old boyfriend ( in fact my first boyfriend) its never been uncomftable for anyone. Unless you are spending huge amounts of time with this ex fwb, and there is obvious flirting, then i can see the issue.

hmmm- id be warey zany - i dont want to sound mean at all, but that, and then there was that thing with your other ex not so many weeks ago.

You don't sound mean atall. I think it comes down to him feeling insecure in 'us' but I have never done anything to make him feel that way. Probably half of my friends are male but I do think he is going to have to understand that/get used to it. Will chat tonight I htink as we were both pretty tired and probably some mis understandings. I am like a kid if someone tells me not to do something (which he hasn't actually said) as it will make me do it anyway just to show that I can if I want. Hmm I wonder why I was single. Proceed with caution I think