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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The honing of the twat radars - dating chat thread number 9

999 replies

lubeybooby · 08/02/2012 20:24

Thread got too big so here's a new one :o

All dating, online or otherwise in here please

Chit chat to serious stuff - off we go!

OP posts:
FreakoidOrganisoid · 09/03/2012 12:54

And the sex when it happened was excellent thankfully!

lovesineffable · 09/03/2012 13:02

perhaps he had time to subconsciously tune into your womanly needs so that in the end he couldnt help but do exactly what you wanted?
Or maybe you spend the time surreptitiously hypnotising him (if so please share some tips) into being a sex god Grin

I think internet dating just brings out my misanthropic side..I hate most of those fuckers now Blush

FreakoidOrganisoid · 09/03/2012 13:19

Or maybe he hypnotised me into fancying him Wink

lovesineffable · 09/03/2012 13:34

ohh nooo another thing to worry about Confused Grin

MyLittleMiracle · 09/03/2012 18:48

We are sorting out a date and time tonight for when we are going to up We have been texting most the day and it has been really nice! Sounds stupid but finally getting myself sorted out! Divorce no longer matters, cos he has to get one too! So i dont feel guilty one bit and nor does he! It feels good to feel attractive again, as for so long i have felt ugly. I went to a girlie friends house today and had a make over. Any ideas on my hair.....straight or curly?? I already have the outfit in mind, a quite plainish but pretty black top with dark denim jeans. And i am going to have my favourite heels repaired so that i can wear them! If not will have to buy a new pair the exact same cos i love them and always wear them.......just they have taken a bashing wearing them constantly and need re heeling, and were only 15pounds new anyway!

adamschic · 09/03/2012 23:04

Hi, looks like I've been dumped again! Had a lovely time over the past few months. Was treated like a princess by my lovely prince (or queen with her king).

Not sure what went wrong but it did Grin Gawd I miss it all. Why do men do this, treat you so great you fall then leave you!

lovesineffable · 09/03/2012 23:14

I dunno why Adamsch, I often suspect it has to do with a need to be in control?
it's very very hurtful and makes you feel a fool, well it does me anyway..I end up feeling as if most blokes are full of bullshit, say one thing..do another.
Bah:( Angry :(
I hope you can put it behind you soon

adamschic · 09/03/2012 23:19

Oh Loves, It is about control. I have know this guy for years. They are all full of shit. I give up now. He made me fall for him this time but it's ok as I am strong and the other women in his life are not !

Seasidegirly · 09/03/2012 23:20

So sorry to hear that Adams. Been there myself. Only one thing to think - his loss and next Grin.

lovesineffable · 09/03/2012 23:53

it oftenwould appear that the need for power and control is more fundamental that the need for sex & affection..the overriding instinct is to exploit any perceived weaknesses.
Even so they frequently overestimate themselves

feedbackforfree · 10/03/2012 10:21

Hello ladies, I dip in and out ocassionally on this thread - I was the one that had the horrible experience, at the start of it.

I was chatting to someone in January that I hadn't meet up with as he went a bit quiet. Anyway, he contacted me about three weeks ago to apologise and said he'd been in hospital. We met up this week. He's not the best looking guy I've ever been out with but, wow, his personality is very engaging. He's witty and well, nice? I liked him instantly and he stretches my mind, as well as one or so other things... I'm a bit of a doubter so the evening ended with a review of his "scar". Anyway, we are arranging date 2. He told me I was attractive, easy to talk to, intelligent and good company. We are more aligned intellectually than some of my other dates so maybe that's where we go wrong sometimes girls.

There's still Mr Old Friend lurking in the background as well as Mr Fling that I spent a number of very pleasurable dates with last year. (He text this week to say he missed me!)

The point of posting is to say to all you ladies that are feeling a bit negative about things this morning, get back out there, cast your nets again and see what "fruits de mer" are on the menu. Have loads of dates with loads of people and don't feel compelled to find the "one" special one, too soon. That's the conclusion that I have come to. I'm not ready to settle for one person at this point in my life and when I'm old(er), I want to look back and remember lots of lovers with a great deal of fondness.

Have good weekends everyone.

lovesineffable · 10/03/2012 10:56

glad to hear things are going well for you feedback:)
mind you i always feel i'm being patronised when a man tells me i'm intelligent..i was especially irked by one who described me as a 'bright girl'
i dont like them too intelligent..i want to be able to shoot them down quickly in any argument :p

adamschic · 10/03/2012 11:01

Feedback, hope this guy turns out to be good for you.

I cannot face internet dating, the nice ones have women throwing themselves at them on the sites and the rest are dullards. IME, of course.

I'm going for a drink with a male friend tonight, need a distraction this weekend.

lovesineffable · 10/03/2012 11:29

hmm..i'd be inclined to suspect these nice men are exaggerating the extent to which women are throwing themselves..doncha think?

adamschic · 10/03/2012 13:28

I'm more presuming that they can take their pick rather than them telling me this is the case as sexy and eligible are rare attributes amongst the men on POF in my area and my age group.

lovesineffable · 10/03/2012 16:03

p'raps but still I have the impression that with any kind of casual dating there are more men than women, and women tend to be fussier about who they find attractive

MyLittleMiracle · 10/03/2012 17:51

Women are more fussy. I am going out on a (gulp, gulp) date on tuesday afternoon with someone i met on pof, but thinking of it as meeting a "friend" for a drink! Really need to look good now! And guess what....I have a god damned spot right on my lip, so tonight out comes the face masks!

adamschic · 10/03/2012 18:03

Mylittlemiracle, he won't notice. Have a great time and hope you both want to take it further.

I'm going by the fact that I am very fussy so if I fancy them, they won't have much trouble.

Disclaimer, I'm nothing special at all but have had a number of men well out of my league, never been a problem pulling them, just a problem getting them to comit. I'm often luke warm with the ones who propose Grin.

lovesineffable · 10/03/2012 18:23

exactly..easy for a women to 'date up' or pull out of her league when it comes to casual stuff, much less easy when it comes to long term relationships

MyLittleMiracle · 10/03/2012 18:43

I think there are loads of men that shy away from commitment. I dont think its just the ones that are out of your league, not that they are! I have had that before, pull someone out of my league (aged 15 admittedly,) and then they just kissed, told and vanished!

adamschic · 10/03/2012 20:10

Yes, loves, it is easy for something casual, that's why I never settle down.

Snapespeare · 10/03/2012 21:16

waaaaaattttttcccccchhhhhhh??

What
Are
You
Doing?

;-)

I now have general under the weather bollicksness going on, I am spotty & look like utter shut. Lots of spots, feel shivery/flu like . Am covered in a thin layer of zovirax. :( it'll pass soon enough, but berth.

MyLittleMiracle · 10/03/2012 21:57

Ah, hope that you start to feel better soon. snape I am also getting really spotty too. TYPICAL god damned me. I even tried a face mask.....hoping it wil be gonbe before my date!

watchoutforthatsnail · 10/03/2012 23:05

I cancelled on him, because I.scored free Sarah Millican tickets :)

Which shows, entirely how much I give a.shit about dating.huh

I'll post properly Monday, its annoying.from mu.phone.

adamschic · 10/03/2012 23:15

Watch, I ROLF at Sarah Millican, bet you have a great night.