who are these freaks whao have affairs with married men

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Agree completely with batters.

ooooo gggl, spooky.

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Btw, I agree that men should get a fair share of the oppbrobrium for having affairs but nope, it is womens fault for tempting them apparently. I'm not excusing myself btw but it is interesting (thanks for the kind words Marina)

In my case, he and I tried to resist for ages - the attraction positively sizzled. others thought we were having an affair long before we actaully had one - and ironically, once we were having the affiar, the tension between us reduced.

We did try to warn each other off - but that somehow only made the affair even more inevitable.

I don't avtaully regert it - I did truly love him and I beleive he loved me. But at the end of the day, we mutually decieded that there were other people to take into consideration (his wife and a baby who had already been from pillar to post). I'm not saying the break-up was easy - and seeing them socially afterwards (as his wife was now a good friend) was hell for a long time.

If I think about, even now, 20 years later there is a teeny tinge of sadness in my relationship with him today - and we both make sure never to be in too intimate a surrounding or to talk "feelings" too much.

booby prize with the greatest respect ( i have read some of your other posts so believe me it is) your post is like saying men are stupid and not therefore responsible for their actions.

Because I think that women are meant to be the emotional ones, the sympathetic ones, sisterhood and all that. So when a woman betrays a fellow woman, it always raises hackles.

I've expressed my disgust at my bro, I've empathised with his wife, I've asked her to leave him. I met one of his bints, she claimed to be in love, when I spoke about his wife and children she just wasn't interested. She just looked like the cat who had got the cream.

an acquaintance of mine who I really like and admire is also an avid borrower of husbands. she is in her late 30's very attractive and does NOT want to take these men from their wives. in fact, she actively discourages these men from leaving their wives. she states that she doesn't want to cook and wash for them and neither does she want their money. she just want the sex and lots of it. she says she wants to just send them home after she's finished with them.

Women seem so quick to exonerate their man and place the blame on the other woman.

It seems irrelevant to me why a woman would have an affair with a married man. What's more relevant (to me) is whether or not you've married the type of many who's likely to stray.

I think people by nature can sometimes make very bad choices (if there is a "choice") about whom they fall in love with. There could be a string of reasons why the other person is unsuitable, one of which might happen to be marital status. I don't reallly believe that there's a certain type of ogress out there that is specifically out to destroy marriages, but maybe I'm wrong.

Panic-stricken youthful fear once made me dump someone I'd been seeing for ages by phone and then refuse to see him face to face to discuss it properly for weeks afterwards. That still torments me. He was a total Tosser McToss I had come to realise, but I was cruel I think. He may not have been married but I know I broke his (tiny, underdeveloped, public-schoolboy) heart

Rhubarb, she just sounds like a nasty person and there are plenty of them, male and female alike

well in the time it took to write my last post, the point had been made several times!

Rhubarb perhaps that what i really meant to say well put.

I broke a tiny, underdeveloped, public-schoolboy heart once as well Marina. Looked up on on Google once and he's rich now. Owns shops in London.

Podkin, but she was just the one I had met! What woman in her right mind would take a man away from his family at Christmas? That was one of his new ones.

Very good point Medea.

affairs are just not as black and white as it would seem though are they.You only have to read the threads that have been on here lately

batters my point exactly

Batters, men do NOT get off lightly! If my dh cheated on me it'd be him I would get first! Then I'd go for her!

But woman have a much higher sense of sisterhood, they empathise with each other, they listen to each others problems, they bond better than men. So whilst it is shit for men to be disloyal to their wives, it is also just as shit for women to betray other women.

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Totally agree with Batters. It is the same warped logic which allows men to get away with rape if the woman was dressed 'alluringly'.