what do I do now?

[devilsadvocaat]

DH had staff do last night and was asleep on sofa when I got up with boys this morn. He was freaking about losing his phone and I found it down sofa, it had texts on from another teacher about her wanting him and being so horny. And he was trying to get her to send him photos and basically saying that he felt the same, if only she had her own place etc. This woman has been to my house and played with my kids!

He has dismissed it as flirting and has gone back to bed. I've said to him before that she likes him. She's been round here many times.

He swears nothing happened, I think I believe him. Don't know why. Just not really sure what to do and how to handle it. Any ideas?

Owns*

I don't know what to do without my kids.
I'm at my Mum's watching films back to back.

How do you get past the guilt of breaking up your family?

My babies.

Sorry things have moved on to this, at least you have done all you can to try to save the marriage.

why did you leave your DC's?
Could they not have gone with you?

There isn't room here. Also they're better off staying in their house. All their toys, clothes. I don't want to mess them up. They love him anyway.

You do need to get legal advice asap. Tomorrow?

Oh, and you are not guilty of breaking up your family. Your cheating and inconsiderate OH is.

Legal advice for what?
His mum has basically put all the money in our house. It's his.

Legal advice for what?
His mum has basically put all the money in our house. It's his.

Not necessarily. I think might be able to ask for right of residence.
But in any case, regarding the children, finances, etc.

Ordinarily, leaving the children is probably not the best thing, I would think, but a solicitor will clarify it.

Also, house ownership may not be as clear as that, particularly if you are married.

Why not? I don't want to leave them but it feels like the right thing to do.

What is right of residence?

Do you have a mortgage on the house? If not who owns the house?
Not the wisest move leaving the DC's and the house today. You need legal advice asap

OP sorry things have turned out this way. I second getting legal advice and not leaving the house until you do, I know it will be hard to be in the same house but you can or may lose some rights on leaving

I can't take arguing in front of them anymore. What am I supposed to do?

What rights?

I'm no expert but I'm guessing that if you want custody in the future then leaving them will jeopardise your chances. Do you want custody? I would definitely seek legal advice before handing your husband the upper hand.

Yes we have mortgage on house, in both our names.

But he won't go.
What do I do?

Of course I want custody.
Fuck.

Sorry to be harsh but you speak to a solicitor, that's what you do. You don't leave your home and children.

Go back there now. Before he changes the lock. Speak to a solicitor tomorrow. He may be guilty of unreasonable behaviour - I just don't know. But it's very very rare for a mother to have to leave her kids because her philandering husband prefers not to go.

I haven't left my kids. I'll be there from 1 in the afternoon til they're in bed.

I can see how this looks tho. I will go straight back.

Then just live with him?

No go and get leagl advice. It is not his house, it is the family home morgaged in both names. Unless there is anything on paper re the MIL and money what ever she has put it doesn't really count.
You must go back--move into the DC's bedroom or sleep on the floor but don't leave the DC's.
It may be hell for a while/. If you are serious about the marriage being over now is the time to get your finances in order as regards child suport and tax credits. Get your own bank account etc.
Don't give him any ammunition to use against you when it comes to leaving the DC's--you were at your mums for a visit and always intended coming back to your home

Oh devil,

I remember your thread, so sorry things have turned out this way, you have made a decisive move to end the relationship and leave him BUT I also think you need to be with the children in the house, and work on either getting him out or finding somewhere with your dc's.
Detach from him, yes, but not the home and children.
Difficult times ahead.
You need to dig deep x

I'm so tired.
I don't want to argue with him anymore.
He told me today that I've ruined his life.

Things had been good, better.
Then he went ballistic at me yesterday. Said I don't care about him.

Today, some of the things he has said made me so cross that I had to leave. I'm worried for the DC. The effect of our arguing.

I can't go back tonight.