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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

H has capped my household spending.

424 replies

carla · 07/01/2006 22:48

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OP posts:
hunkermunker · 07/01/2006 23:07

How much did he used to give you?

kama · 07/01/2006 23:07

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Original poster
carla · 07/01/2006 23:07

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OP posts:
Aloha · 07/01/2006 23:07

You said he bought food in your initial post, Carla. I'm confused.

fireflyfairy2 · 07/01/2006 23:07

My shopping isnt even a quarter of that a month and ther are 4 of us in the house. I buy the kid whatever clothes they need.. id love to have £1200 to spend each month..thats a luxury! But I suppose it depends on what you're used to

hunkermunker · 07/01/2006 23:08

Carla, I'm intrigued now - how is £1200 not enough for fripperies? What on earth are you spending more than that on a month? Do you eat out a lot?

munz · 07/01/2006 23:09

reading as u've written carla yes he has a point, 1200 is v v manageable - hell we'd eat out every night on thhat money spare each monht, but the point is what was it like b4 do u earn anything? why has this all come about? ur previous posts of him weren't v favourable, so I agree if he's using the cash as a control then no he has no point and u do - althou with £1200 u'd still be able to do ur own thing (I think but i'm used to being skint as well!)

PrincessPeaHead · 07/01/2006 23:09

I think not only does he have a point, but it sounds like a very sensible move if you have been consistently spending more than 1200 pm on toiletries (!!! You put Creme de la Mer on your face, you don't eat it, btw) and clothes.

He sounds pretty generous to me.

If you want to spend more, go out and get a job.

If you already have a job, he sounds even MORE generous.

Pruni · 07/01/2006 23:09

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MrsSpoon · 07/01/2006 23:10

Having control of the money can be power and it is a power that can be abused, whether £1,200 a month is plenty for any of us is not really what is in question.

Original poster
carla · 07/01/2006 23:10

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OP posts:
colditz · 07/01/2006 23:10

A POINT!!!!

HOw can you expect someone to give you any sympathy at all when you have an incredably large amount of money at your disposal!?

I think your husband has more than a point, I think he has an entire cutlery drawer!

How much money do you actually get in a month between you? I know it is a vulgar question, but really, unless he is keeping several thousand pounds to himself, I think you are a very very spoilt woman.

misdee · 07/01/2006 23:10

i;d be eating out everyday for that amount lol.

emily05 · 07/01/2006 23:11

carla, he may have a point. I think that it good to have a limit (think of all the money you could save!) I think that you both need to sit down and work out income/outgoings and come up with how much you want/have to spend and agree it together

PrincessPeaHead · 07/01/2006 23:11

I'm sorry but all this crap about using "cash as control" - clearly someone has to exert some control over spending in this relationship, as Carla seems unable to!

If you are in fact married to Roman Abramovich, divorce him and spend the settlement money as you wish. Otherwise I'd stop winging on here if I were you.

Friendly advice

Aloha · 07/01/2006 23:12

Having control of the money can be very sensible if the household income is being totally wasted!

colditz · 07/01/2006 23:12

Do you mean that you have been consistantly spending 1200 a month on something wehich you have no idea about, and you are protesting at your husband objecting?

Or am I getting entirely the wrong end of the stick?

Original poster
carla · 07/01/2006 23:13

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hunkermunker · 07/01/2006 23:13

Totally agree with PPH - Carla, honestly, might be an idea to keep a note of the things you spend money on each month.

In fact, cast your eye down your latest Barclaycard statement and tell us what you've spent on in the past month - I'm honestly intrigued.

hunkermunker · 07/01/2006 23:13

I'd be hateful if DH was spending £1200 a month and had no idea what on!

Original poster
carla · 07/01/2006 23:13

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OP posts:
hunkermunker · 07/01/2006 23:14

Like what, Carla? How much can one spend on Brillo pads and bleach?

batters · 07/01/2006 23:14

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flutterbee · 07/01/2006 23:14

Thank God I was sitting down becasue if I wasn't I think I may have fallen down. £1200 a month are you f*ing kidding me, and you think this is going to be hard and hate him for it, how the hell much were you spending before he capped you, I dread to think.

You need to drag yourself into the real world, sorry to sound harsh but it really pisses me off when people who are not at all hard done by come accross as poor little me isn't life tough.

Your more than welcome to swap places with me my DH doesn't cap my spending at all, he lets me spend the full £10 we have spare every month on anything I want.

£1200

Heathcliffscathy · 07/01/2006 23:14

it is a lot but if food bill is included then not enough to have creme de mer as your nightcream imo.

is your food included in this or not?s