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Original poster

H has capped my household spending.

424 replies

carla · 07/01/2006 22:48

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OP posts:
Aloha · 07/01/2006 23:39

Do you pay the family's food bill - ie the sainsbury's shopping - and/or childcare or is the money really just for coffees out and clothes and shampoo?

Caligula · 07/01/2006 23:39

Just gobsmacked, sorry, we've entered a world I don't understand.

We're not in Kansas anymore.

KateF · 07/01/2006 23:39

Sounds like this is about a lot more than the OP suggested. Hope you can work things out Carla.

Milge · 07/01/2006 23:40

Thanks for clarifying Carla, so £1200 for food, clothes, meals out, car parking, coffee, replacement household items, furniture etc. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me, especially if it excludes weekly grocery shop and your own personal expenditure( make up). Paying your own tax bill would also be reasonable. If you are used to a financial free rein, and are used to access to 2, 3, 5 or 10 times the set amount, then I can see why you would be shocked. Its a bit like Posh Spice being told to live on £1m a year, I guess...

Heathcliffscathy · 07/01/2006 23:40

ok am still surmising wildly: you both work, you both have separate salaries, but a barclaycard from which you can get household items and he has suddenly capped that out of the blue (i'm assuming it's in his name) is that right?

colditz · 07/01/2006 23:40

Carla.

You have stated in your first post that all your husbands income goes on boring food/household stuff.

You have stated that if you go anywhere together at the weekend, your husband pays for treats for the children.

He has allowed you £1200 a month for what is basically nothing, then, and as this has come as a surprise to you, I get the impression you were spending a lot more.

I can almost understand the shock, Carla, because I saw it on my partners face when I capped his spending to a reasonable limit.

So, from his point of view, it must have been heartbreaking to watch you fritter the money that he has sweated for on clothes, books, toys and entertainment.

I don't think you should have been shocked to be treated like this Carla, did you honestly think you could spend what you like and he would sort it out? That isn't a very fair way of living.

MrsSpoon · 07/01/2006 23:40

If you don't know his financial position IMO you can't judge whether he is being unreasonable or not. If you can get on speaking terms I would make that a priority and believe that a couple should be open with each other about money matters.

Aloha · 07/01/2006 23:41

Carla, I'm not sure you've explained things very well. Was he always happy with you spending 2K a month on whatever you wanted, and you assumed he'd also pay your tax bill and now you can't afford it?

Flossam · 07/01/2006 23:41

Its when I read things like this I suddenly start hoping for a communist government!!!

edam · 07/01/2006 23:41

Well, if he would never tell you what he earns, you have a pretty odd relationship, IMO.

FWIW my mother only realised my father had been lying about his salary once the divorce hearing got going. He'd been earning far more than she knew! If you are thinking of leaving him, get yourself a GOOD lawyer. Or a private detective. Especially if he's a lawyer too.

nutcracker · 07/01/2006 23:42

Carla, what do your wages pay for ??? Do you have them and the £1200 or not ?

Janh · 07/01/2006 23:42

A lot of people have been lurking tonight

Original poster
carla · 07/01/2006 23:43

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starlover · 07/01/2006 23:45

what IS household stuff though?????

Original poster
carla · 07/01/2006 23:45

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sparklymieow · 07/01/2006 23:45

but if it not for any of that stuff, what 'household' stuff are we talking about???

MrsSpoon · 07/01/2006 23:46

True Edam, I heard a story once about a woman who knew her husband was earning and investing far more than he was letting on. Over a period of time she did a lot of investigating and photocopied documents as evidence that he had these funds/investments and hid them in a box under the floorboards. When they divorced (which I suppose was inevitable with the lack of trust) he claimed to be a pauper, she produced evidence to the contrary and claimed her share.

Flossam · 07/01/2006 23:46

This has got to be a wind up.

Mum2OneAndBump · 07/01/2006 23:46

OMG

Are you pissed cause this makes no sense at all !

hunkermunker · 07/01/2006 23:46

Right, have reread the OP and it breaks down like this as far as I can make out:

Carla has her own income, enough that she needs to pay a tax bill (which H has been paying).

Out of this, she pays for her clothes and treats for the girls.

H has his own income. He pays for food and household stuff and also Carla's Barclaycard bill.

The Barclaycard - well, it's either for food, or for household stuff, according to Carla's later posts. So I'm still confused!

Janh · 07/01/2006 23:46

carla, you said at the start:

Aloha · 07/01/2006 23:47

sorry Carla, feel like my head is exploding here - what is 'household stuff'? Is it for children's clothes or not. You've just said it's NOT for children's clothes? I'd feel stupid if I wasn't the only confused person on here.

edam · 07/01/2006 23:47

Still don't understand what 'household' stuff means ? supermarket shop? Paying the cleaner and the gardener? You can't seriously be spending £1,200 in Fortnum and Mason's every month, can you?

batters · 07/01/2006 23:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
carla · 07/01/2006 23:47

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