H has capped my household spending.

[carla]

Message deleted

yes I know

I wasn't being sarcastic I thought it was excelelnt post

Totally agree with what Custardo has said

Message withdrawn

i nearly printed it out this morning to read with my coffee

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

Sorry, haven't read whole thread, just £1200 BC per month! J.Christ! That's our joint monthly income!!!.

DH and I are married and we see all of the money that comes into our home as being ours jointly. We share it all even though he is the main earner. But, I wouldn't dream of spending that much each month on extras and expect him to pick up the tab each time. Even if we could afford it.

TBH sounds like you've got used to spending as much as you like and your DH is fed up with it for some reason. Have you been going mad with the plastic?

custardo, are the sayings you're looking for
'You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear' - meaning you won't be able to produce something amazing from sometihng crap and maybe you were also thinking about 'you should cut your coat according to your cloth' - i.e. you can only use what you've got. Where's Carla then?

Message withdrawn

ha ha

it was the cloth one - not the pig one. duh! thanks www

I can't beieve this is still going I lost interest last night when Carla refused to answer most (non really personal) questions that people were trying to ask, me included. Then when Carla did post a reply her situation and story changed to totally contradict everything she had originally written. It made no sense at all and I think anyone who was on here last night as it all unfolded will agree.

After my first sarcastic outburst about the amounts we are talking about, I then thought about it and asked Carla if it was just the principle of being capped out of the blue and not the amounts involved that got her so angry.....I am still waiting for a reply.

Anyone who gets to the bottom of this will have my respect for life.

Carla -- If you are still about (I can understand if your not), maybe now you have slept on it and got up maybe with a bit of a clearer head you could come back try explaining again, without everyone including me jumping on you. I do agree with other people though when they say that you need to worry about the overall relationship with DH and not about this last twist in what must be a really hard time for you at the moment.

i have read this several times and still cant make head nor tail of it

I think both Custy and Wigwambam have got it spot on.

Suppose it's all relative to how much Carla is used to getting. May have been better to post "h has reduced my allowance by XX% for example.

I do remember Carla posting that she and X spent a hideous amount on groceries as quoted from a thread she was on in Feb 200: "Haven't had time to read all this, but ours comes out at around £2,000 or so per month, but having said that, I shop mainly at Sainsbury's so that includes wine, etc, and all the stuff you could get from a chemist but don't. There are four of us as well"

So if someone posts about their financial situation, saying they're pissed off with their husband and are putting it before the MN jury, nobody's allowed to ask any questions, just pat that poster on the head and say "Of course it's fine you spend x a month and your nasty husband should keep footing the bill"?

That's lovely and clear - thanks.

Pshaw!

Yes, and she wasn't asked personal questions - she was asked what on earth she was talking about as EVERYONE was utterly baffled.
It was the wilful obfuscation and the refusal to answer anyone's questions no matter how politely phrased that put people's backs up IMO.

Exactly!

Carla, I'll be blunt - if you're so unhappy living with H, leave him.

If I posted the amount I receive a month (it is quite a bit less than Carla BTW), no doubt half a dozen would come on and say "oh that's more than we have between us" or "more than my DH earns" or "more than enough to feed/clothe a family" but I can confirm that if my DH came to me tomorrow said he was cutting my allowance by say, £200 a month and gave me no reason for it whatsoever I would be very hacked off because I have a sum of money I am used to working with.

Has anyone re-read it?

Has it become any clearer?

If so please step forward for my full respect and explain to me what I was missing.

Think I might have misunderstood HM's post.

Hmm, but we don't know either what she had before or what she spends the money on. Suppose she was spending, say £3K out of a household income of £4K on purely frivolous stuff, then that would be dreadful IMO.
As it is, I have no idea. It was the refusal to clear anything up that made everyone go POP with frustration, and hence the references to Lavenderrr. I can't work this out at all tbh.
I think if she'd be clearer she might have got totally different responses. It is bizarre to say that someone would be hard done by if they were given £1,200 on top of their own wages just to blow on clothes and toiletries. But that may well not be the case. That's the point. WE dont' know and are chasing our own tails here.

I didn't say no-one should has questions if that was aimed at me HM. fwiw, I'm shocked at the amount she appears to have to spend on trivial items.
I was trying to suggest a way others may stop themselves from being lambasted in a similar situation.