Just can't get over his beer belly :-(

[nevermindthebuzzcocks]

I know this is really mean and if it was a woman who had put on weight everyone would be saying, "he should love you for who you are" etc etc

But... my DH has got quite a beer belly on him and I'm struggling to keep feeling sexual about him. The rest of him is fine, his arms are nice and his legs are muscley but the belly really could pass for a pregnancy belly.

He has said to me frequently that he thinks i don't fancy him anymore and I am always honest and say that i do fancy HIM but i don't like his belly. But he does nothing about it. I am sure it's all the beer that he drinks and he is sure that it's all because i keep buying chocolate or biscuits (for the kids packed lunches) and it's MY fault that he keeps eating them.

He wont belive it is the beer because years ago when he was in his early thirties he could drink the same amount of beer and not have a belly (he refuses to see that now he is 44 he isn't able to deal with all the beer without getting a belly).

Anyway, my question is, what am i meant to do? I don't like having sex with him at the moment because his belly LITERALLY gets in the way. Am i a bitch???

Hurt, AF? Mortally wounded more like.

< wrestles with the triangular bandage >

Don't worry, Bella, it was all stuff from this thread, mostly from the coffee derail.

Nice to see you back, Nevermind. Sorry you were hurt. I hope there's enough useful stuff to be helpful. Good luck talking to your DH.

that triangular bandage...what is it for ?

plenty - yes there is loads on here for me to think about thanks.

as for getting hurt - I guess it's just the age old thing you can moan about your nearest and dearest yourself but when others join in (or in this case make jokes about their belly hair) you become defensive.

Silly really.

even the coffee person was nice to me though

Thought I'd only get about two responses - one saying "You are a bitch" and one saying "Leave the fat git". So am glad I got so many replies really.

the coffee person was nice and batshit crazy

The triangular bandage is for hoisting his belly up so that OP doesn't suffer from the same fate as Fabby when administering oral suction to his appendage, AF.

gip

I'm not crazy - sigh - just evolved about how I approach good health.

This was an insightful thread, it is good to see people being candid about things that bother them, and when it comes down to it, this is more about worrying about DH's health, than anything else, that 'still see the twinkle in his eyes' was what did it for me, knowing that this lady cares and loves her man deeply.

I hope he starts to cut down on the beer and will soon see the results.
I once got pregnant, didn't know it at the time, and I went totally off beer and booze. I was living in an environment - a boat, in Water World - where cocktails as daily as your newspaper - anyway, long story short from 'the crazy, the weight started to fall off me - not that I'm overweight or anything - but it fell off me to the point that I was back at the weight I was at 17, tall and totally slim and without the little belly I often have because I cannot give up refreshing beverages, albeit I don't binge them, but still, beer is a belly booster, no two ways about it, so the silver lining is that your hubby will see pretty quick results if he gives it a month.
Good luck.
I'll slip back into my straitjacket now.

That colour goes with the white of your eyes, Barreal

I am a freak in that I find them quite attractive. my DH hasn't even a hint of one and is a health freak so maybe its a little sexual rebellion on my part.

I did have a boyfriend with a belly and I liked it. It was cute. BUt it wasn't 40"....

Don't give up y'er day job, missnicename.

this is my day job

I don't quite get the coffee enema shizz but I do find your blog interesting barkingBarreal.

Anyway,I hope your dh can cut back on the alcohol OP,maybe you can suggest you both go on a health kick in the new year?

I never picked up one vibe that you felt you no longer loved him, OP, and in my first post my aim was to try to offer a practical solution, without causing unnecessary hurt to your husband in case the beer is a symptom of other problems.
I wouldn't take part in the joking as I am that person in the glass house. My DH could write pages on my wobbly bits.
I have the opposite problem - DH is a stone and half lighter than when we met and I think he is a bit skinny looking. That may say more about my cooking than anything else.
Although I have used courses of colonics (not coffee) with benefit in the past, the concept is not for everyone. I stand by my comment about referring to oneself as a chick, I'm afraid.

I haven't read all the posts- but you ought not to be putting chocolate and chocolate biscuits into your kids lunch boxes- you are setting them on the same path - to obesity and ill health.

don't you know anything about healthy eating? There's enough info around which advises parents how to pack healthy lunches for kids.

Could it simply be a question of him putting the beer and choccy bix in the wrong end, nevermind?

Anyone had a beer enema? Are chocolate biscuit crumbs very different to coffee grounds in enematic terms?

Is the resident inmate expert available for comment?

izzy I'd say you've just made me spray coffee all over my keyboard but you'd get completely the wrong idea

OP - just read him this:

My husband had a beer belly (just like his father before him - father died at 53 of a heart attack). His belly didn't actually put me off - he was a lot of fun and I loved him to bits.

My husband's beer belly went down - he lost weight through undiagnosed diabetes- (more strain on the arteries). He would not stop smoking (yes more strain on the arteries).

He died, aged 45, of a huge heart attack. Leaving me with 4 dc aged 15, 13, 8 and 5.

The ramifications of his death were/still are huge.

Tell him to think on! It only takes very small changes to diet and lifestyle to lose that very unhealthy fat, and live a long and productive life.

got to agree with ameliagrey.
Stop buying the chocolate and biscuits for starters.
Your kids don't need them especially if they have a fat dad

Trouble is, that approach continues to make the OP responsible for what her DH is eating. He needs to take responsibility for himself.

I know not everybody agrees with this but I think there's nothing wrong with kids having a few treats as part of an otherwise healthy diet. I think it would be rotten if they weren't allowed any just because their dad can't control himself.

pubes- there is a huge difference between having a choccie bar/biscuits as the occasional treat- and having them almost daily.

Getting slightly off topic, but some /many schools have banned choc biscuits and chocolate from school packed lunches- onthe grounds of promoting healthy eating.

I suspect this whole family needs to overhaul their eating habits- and yes, that means what is bought.

The dad has a personal responsibility true- but it is made harder if high fat/ high sugar food is in the house in the first place.

Interesting to watch the Food Hospital last night- they showed how just 3 biscuits a day ( or an extra 300 calories) can add to a 2 stone weight gain in a year, if you don't increase your exercise, and eat them on top of what you eat normally.

Pubes - so true.
I used to eat so much of that rubbish when I was in the UK.
Moving to Japan, where such high sugar, crappy fat food isn't available, I've been able to avoid become as big as all my old high school friends have become, seemingly by default due to what's available on the shelves in the UK.
If I had kids, their snacks would be almonds and so on, with occassional poison, sugar etc if they did something BAD. ;)

Oops, I mean, Amelia, so true.