Just can't get over his beer belly :-(

[nevermindthebuzzcocks]

I know this is really mean and if it was a woman who had put on weight everyone would be saying, "he should love you for who you are" etc etc

But... my DH has got quite a beer belly on him and I'm struggling to keep feeling sexual about him. The rest of him is fine, his arms are nice and his legs are muscley but the belly really could pass for a pregnancy belly.

He has said to me frequently that he thinks i don't fancy him anymore and I am always honest and say that i do fancy HIM but i don't like his belly. But he does nothing about it. I am sure it's all the beer that he drinks and he is sure that it's all because i keep buying chocolate or biscuits (for the kids packed lunches) and it's MY fault that he keeps eating them.

He wont belive it is the beer because years ago when he was in his early thirties he could drink the same amount of beer and not have a belly (he refuses to see that now he is 44 he isn't able to deal with all the beer without getting a belly).

Anyway, my question is, what am i meant to do? I don't like having sex with him at the moment because his belly LITERALLY gets in the way. Am i a bitch???

Barrel, I am intrigued by your enemas.

Do you have the equivalent of coffee breath when you fart?

I'm intrigued too. Do you have any peer-reviewed evidence for your claims?

Fabbychic 'Dont want to give him a BJ and get a carpet burn on my forehead off his hairy belly'

That is fucking priceless

p.s. You owe me a new keyboard - have just drenched mine with coffee.

Sigh. Folks making the quips - yawn - enjoy the NHS eventually.
Most Brits insist on courting ignorance, at the expense of evolution.
It is a shame you most likely bred.
Ignorance breeds only more ignorance.
A blight on the planet.

I don't like ignorance either ... so, do you have any reliable evidence?

sounds very similar to my xh. I remember his belly blobbing around on top of me while we were having sex. It was so unappealing. he wouldn't do anything about it either, and blamed the beer/food that he had to drink or eat because he was depressed (because of me/work/whatever - never him overeating) or tired, or happy, or too busy to eat healthily. He had 1000s of reasons why he had to eat or drink more.

it was so ugly.

Plenty of Pubes
Yes, um, there's all the evidence out there if you do searchs for 'coffee enemas', plus I am really healthy for a 43 year old who indulges in the finer things in life daily. As is my DP(lol love the acronyms) who is FIT without having to use up precious time in gyms and so on.
I tell ya, try it, really, I'm trying to help folks when I share this stuff, not trip you up.
Don't know why I bother though. Waste of time. Most folks are TV-watching morons with zero dreams for themselves.

Dh and i have started going to the gym together...what a difference it has made to our bodies and our relationship. He is a real sporty person, I am not, but I can actually do more than him in the gym.
We feel better, look better and eat better.

I don't want a fat stomach and don't want him to have one either.....we are in our early 50s and want to stay healthy.

Here ya go nightmareontinystreets.blogspot.com/2011/09/coffee-enemas-101.html

do searchs for 'coffee enemas'

Yup, I did that, got the Wikipedia article here

Now, I know it's just Wikipedia but it does link to quite a few proper scientific articles about dangerous side effects, including death, and no proper scientific articles that support your claims so I was just wondering if there are any.

The rest of your 'evidence' is just anecdotal I'm afraid, although I'm pleased you and your DP are fit and well.

Yeah that's somebody's blog. Do you understand what peer-reviewed research means?

My DH has a beer belly but l can honestly say l have never been turned off by it or ever found him physically repulsive on any level whatsoever. I dont see a fat bloke I just see him and I just love him - end of. But we're all different so l understand where OP is coming from. Having said all that l do hate my DHs beer belly because l worry constantly about anything happening to him - heart attack etc. I would absolutely love him to lose even a stone (he is approx 3 and a half stone overweight). What l will say is they dont call it a beer belly for nothing - he gives up drinking two to three large bottles of beer during the week on a few nights and he always loses weight. but then he goes back to old habits and piles it back on. He works in the building trade and it is an ingrained culture thing there really - pub after work/weekends etc. He is on medication for BP which is keeping it down to a safe level - it was quite high before medical intervention. I have told him now that we are going to be sensible till Xmas - l could do with a stone off aswell tbh - no beer during the week just one gin and slimline tonic one night midweek and no chips/stodge or puddings. It really is just the health pov for me - in last few years we have been to about four funerals of friends/relatives who have passed away in their 50s and 60s from cancer or heart attacks etc (m DH and I are in our early 50s) I really wish he would get to grips with it - it is frightening really - joking apart.

Just one bit of practical advice - switch to low carbohydrate beer - I don't bloat when I drink it, put on less weight and some of it is lower calorie too. List here of low carb/alcohol beers - I drink Michelob Ultra.

Even better if you don't tell him - then he won't be tempted to drink more and you won't put the idea of 'diet' beer in his head.

Good luck

Barreal - that's right, bar real meaning you are not.

I'll be honest, this would put me off too. If you lose a limb you cannot help it, but having a large beer belly is something you CAN help.

If you married a slim man who then binged on beer most days with the result that his belly was affecting his health and your sex life then I'm pretty sure most women here would say something. Women don't tend to get beer bellies.

It WILL be putting a strain on his heart and no doubt he will experience shortness of breath as he climbs stairs or tries to do anything energetic. It also makes sex difficult.

I would suggest you encourage him all you can. Stop buying crisps and chocolates for lunchboxes as they are not healthy for kids anyway and doesn't set a good example. Cut down drinking together - get some alcohol-free drinks in like Schloer. Go for a family walk together every Sunday. Start swapping stuff like white pasta for brown pasta - little changes like that can really help.

You can also tell him how much you love him and how worried you are about his health. Try not to put him on the defensive as he certainly never meant to get like that. So make sure he feels confident of your love.

Thank you Laurie ( if that was aimed at me). He is quite a fussy bugger discerning beer drinker though and he drinks it from the bottle so would know it was different and will only drink a couple of his favourite brands. But what l could do is get some in and say they were on offer etc and got them in for Xmas blah blah and would you like to try one ?

Things we do eh !

Barreal, are you related to "Dr" Gillian Mckeith? you seem to talk the same kind of shit.

Colonics can be very dangerous, a coffee enema every day? you are a loon. You underestimate the intelligence and current /previous medical careers of a lot of MNers. Stop now before you make yourself look even more stupid , there's a dear.

I've reported him folks, please do likewise.
I hope to goodness his parents only had the one!

Oh, it's not spam is it, how very boring, I thought we'd got a bonafide lunatic.

Um, Mal, um, does 'Mal' stand for 'sick'?
I would understand it if I was coming on here trying to get people to shoot up with Cinzano Bianco, but all I did was share some good info, and I'm not sure how you found really really bad things about coffee enemas, and where you found them, but you must have a really dark side to want to deny that certain things in life can help you.
I wish you mal, I mean, well, you need it, you are typically ignorant.
Lunatic? Um, yes, very much so, just like all those soldiers in WW1 who benefited from coffee enemas, where they were first discovered by Dr Gerson.
I bet you had kids, didn't you. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I despair.

By the way, I often do coffee enemas twice a day - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - since 2004. NOooooooooooooooooooooo. And I'm not dead yet, nor obese, nor stinky, nor sick all the time, rushing off for a prescription.

On the contrary, I don't think I know it all already at all, that's why I'd like to read some proper research on the subject. Do you have any, because I can't find any, even on your blog, or the Gerson site (which is the only link I can find - have I missed some?).

Given the lack of evidence, I don't think it's a sign of being 'thick' not to want to squirt coffee up my arse.

HIM? I'm a chick and why report somebody who gives good advice?
Typical. I despair of the human race in the UK.

Whatever, Pubey. I don't live in your body, so I don't care. Was just trying to be helpful.
p.s Good luck to the OP. She loves her hubby and I hope you both work something out.
p.p.s I think this site is great for you chicks, I really do.