Just can't get over his beer belly :-(

[nevermindthebuzzcocks]

I know this is really mean and if it was a woman who had put on weight everyone would be saying, "he should love you for who you are" etc etc

But... my DH has got quite a beer belly on him and I'm struggling to keep feeling sexual about him. The rest of him is fine, his arms are nice and his legs are muscley but the belly really could pass for a pregnancy belly.

He has said to me frequently that he thinks i don't fancy him anymore and I am always honest and say that i do fancy HIM but i don't like his belly. But he does nothing about it. I am sure it's all the beer that he drinks and he is sure that it's all because i keep buying chocolate or biscuits (for the kids packed lunches) and it's MY fault that he keeps eating them.

He wont belive it is the beer because years ago when he was in his early thirties he could drink the same amount of beer and not have a belly (he refuses to see that now he is 44 he isn't able to deal with all the beer without getting a belly).

Anyway, my question is, what am i meant to do? I don't like having sex with him at the moment because his belly LITERALLY gets in the way. Am i a bitch???

Well, I just think she should consider refraining from referring to herself as a chick.
To each their own, but I think it a somewhat demeaning term.
I've been to B&Q and bought a hose. Now making up a large jug of Mellow Birds. Thought I'd start gently.

She hasn't deleted it. At the top of the post she's changed 'mumsnet' to 'shallnotbenamed', but still refers to mumsnet at the bottom. Everything else is still there, including references to Fabby's carpet burn 'jokes'. The comments are vile.

T'internet is such a strange land. I've just looked, why doesn't she delete? How odd .

is BarReal a chick with a dick then ?

or it's simply got one in the middle of its forehead...

bizarre

anyway...

OP, your husband has got some awful health problems coming up fast if he doesn't change his lifestyle

depression, problem drinking, fat laid down around the middle

not a good combination. He may think he is ok now...but that there's a timebomb for diabetes, heart disease, stroke blah blah blah

Back to the OP.

I don't think you're being a bitch - just honest.

My dh is 47 and is as slim, if not slimmer than when we met. Ageing does not go hand in hand with gaining a belly. I would find him much less attractive if he had a big gut, and he feels the same way about me!

at Fabby. I didnt want to give him a bj and get a carpet burn from his hairy belly on my forehead. Thank you, that turn of phrase will be with me forever now.

I dont think your being shallow and its the same as when men post on here that their partner has got massive after kids or as they have got older. I dont think there is anything wrong with saying your are not as attracted to them as you are being honest and getting older doesnt equate with letting yourself go if you care about yourself.

Someone asked me what it was on my forehead I said bj bellly burn.

Fabby, I told my dh about blowjob forehead tonight.
I coudl hardly speak for laughing.
Let's hope it was a lesson he took in.

If he's depressed beer is the last thing he needs. Alcohol is a depressive, if he stops/cuts down the beer he'd not only lose his gross belly, but feel better in himself too.

I totally sympathise, my ex got really tubby (exercise to beer ratio swapped radically) and I found it very hard to feel sexy about him with moobs and a big gut. Shallow? Maybe. Honest? Yes.

Belly schmelly. What does he talk about? Is he kind?

'Yeah that's somebody's blog. Do you understand what peer-reviewed research means?'

That's very funny too.
A blog passed off as evidence for the efficacy of coffee enemas.
Imagine a carpet burn head whilst emitting coffe farts.
The mind boggles.

I keep gipping when I think of fabbychic's BJ experiences

Me too AF - mental images are not good.

Jeez, now I've got to wear a Japanese style kamikaze bandana when giving one of my beloveds a bj and my much loved cups of java are not going to be half so appealing in future.

Far tmfuckingi on this thread. And it has such an innocent title - misled me into thinking that maybe the OP needed to learn how to do a Fosbury flop when reaching for the remote or turning the bedside lamp out.

ive only had a bj experience in my dreams for 20 months. All the single guys my age have burn bellys.

Been musing over this for a while. Honestly, whilst a beer belly is not exactly attractive, I doubt it would entirely stop me feeling attracted to someone I loved alone. But the health issues side of things I do agree need to be addressed.

Fabby, more a nightmare, non?

You need to start looking at the younger men, then

Sorry to go off topic here, been reading through the thread and saw all the drama that unravelled with Barreal...I'm gutted. I bared my soul on a relationship thread and she replied in a lovely way and even sent me a really kind private message. I thought 'what a lovely lady to worry about a complete stranger'. What a fool! I didn't get the chance to read her blog before she altered it but am a bit worried that it was my post she cut and pasted...Can anyone enlighten me? I feel so naive and foolish...

Hi. Thanks to all who have spotted that I do indeed love my DH and did not come on her to joke about him. Someone asked what he talked about and what he was like - he is a lovely, caring, funny and affectionate man - hence the reason I feel so bloody wretched about not fancying him at the moment.

all very odd about the coffee stuff but seems to have all gone on whilst I was
off-line and over for now.

Thanks to everyone who gave advise, i will re-read and make a list of ideas to talk to DH about.

Thanks x

bellabing - sorry, I don't know what all the cut and paste stuff was. I can't find much on the blog about MN now and not any comments from this thread.

I am hurt too that my worry over my DH has been turned into a big joke about BJs and forehead burns. Sorry you got caught up in it all

bellabing Please don't worry about what you said on a different thread. Try to jut think that you are anonymous and the comments that were apparently on the blog have gone now. (()) Take care.

I am sorry you both got hurt by this thread