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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So, I am away on hols with not so dh, dd and mil. Driving me nuts!

174 replies

ParsleyTheLioness · 24/10/2011 23:25

Living sort of seperately, but under the same room, separate rooms, while we wait for Relate. Holiday arranged ages ago...mil, intefering control freak, not long lost fil, and it seemed like a nice, but far too optimistic thing to do. Decided to come away anyway, but have had to share a room. Arse husband has packed the double blow-up bed, not the single, and I have been moving furniture half the night. Trying to do it quietly, to avoid nosey mil knowing. I thought she would try and have a sneaky peak in our room, so I put a put a bit of paper in the door jam. Sure enough, its fallen out because she's been in. So angry, could throttle the pair of them.

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HerScaryness · 24/10/2011 23:28

could you not come home?

izzywhizzysfritenite · 24/10/2011 23:29

Are you staying somewhere nice, where maybe you can escape with dd or on your own for the day - or even during the evening?

Needless to say, if you've packed anything that you don't want not so d or mil to see, keep it on you at all times.

Adversecamber · 24/10/2011 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ParsleyTheLioness · 24/10/2011 23:33

Ooh. Power of the tinternet. Just wentinto the kitchen to see if I could figure out stupid dog coffee machine, and here you are. Tis magic!

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ParsleyTheLioness · 24/10/2011 23:34

The back up plan is that if it gets unbearable, me and dd are checking into a hotel. With a spa and room service. But we are about 5 hrs from home. And I have had very little sleep.

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ParsleyTheLioness · 24/10/2011 23:37

Mainly want to vent...tis probably manageable through gritted teeth, but will not be repeated. The silly old goat had forgotten she was going, so could have avoided picking her up anyhoo! I wouldn't mind if she was just a bit nicer, you know? Nothing I do is of interest, but I have to hear about next door's dog's traffic warden's graduation ad nauseum, iuswim. I have no value other than being the mother of The Chosen One, the only grandchild.

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izzywhizzysfritenite · 24/10/2011 23:45

Gritting is best kept for roads and I suggest you escape to that spa with dd and leave mil with her earlier Chosen One - if nothing else, it will spare you from having to deflate that airbed.

PartyPooperz · 24/10/2011 23:47

How about a series of challenges for yourself with wine prizes? How long do you think you can talk about your DC adnauseum to her? Practice doing long stretchy Lloyds Grossman words when you're playing for time and repeating yourself to ensure she doesn't get a word in edgeways.

ParsleyTheLioness · 24/10/2011 23:51

Party, can't get a word in edgeways, she just rattles endlessly! Ok, give me some stretchy Lloyd words please.
Izzy she doesn't WANT to talk about Chosen One...she just wants to talk AT people. She doesn't have patience with dd, who is 13 and a bit stroppy. Think dd would come with me like a shot, leaving Soup Dragon and Best Boy to Stew.

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ParsleyTheLioness · 24/10/2011 23:53

Cannot drink wine, but have chocolate sea shells, and dog machine works. Result. Need to buy hot chocolate pellets for him. He needs a name to keep me sane.
What shall i call Dolce Gusto Dog?

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ParsleyTheLioness · 25/10/2011 00:01

Adverse good advice. Will try. Have got a mini-kettle in the bedroom to retreat to. Might confiscate dog if it gets desperate.
Party, I am Northern, in fact Cumbrian, not Canadian...will it sound the same if I do stretchy words? No good unless it is of equal annoyance....
Herscary. Yes, all part of Plan B, if I have to. Thanks ladies. Still got a dog without a name. Indulge me, you know you want to...

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hauntedstateofmind · 25/10/2011 02:51

No good at names for dogs sorry.

Poor you- your MIL sounds barking. Is your DD enjoying it or would the two of you be better out of it?

garlicBreathZombie · 25/10/2011 03:48

What with all those soup dragons, stews and dog pellets, you sound very hungry. Hope Guylian has managed to satisfy one of your urges.

Don't fuck around naming things. Get some sleep and hie yourself to the posh hotel after breakfast. Or before. Stop somewhere en route for crusty croissants and mochas with DD. That sounds like a better start to a much better holiday!

izzywhizzysfritenite · 25/10/2011 04:07

You do know that le Gross-man is a damn Yankee, Parsley?

Cumbrians, Lancastrians, and Yorkies can elongate vowels and consonants with ease so you should have no problem extending your conversations without scratting around for additional words.

Practise slaughtering the English language by strangulating 'deliberate, cogitate, and digest' before you slaughter the Best Boy and strangle the Soup Dragon [hgrin]

ParsleyTheLioness · 25/10/2011 07:26

Okay, all good stuff....I will start. Chocolate was lufferly...I shall practise...." Motheeeerrr in laaaaaaaw, I shall not go to the Naaaaaaional Trust place until I have digested my triiiiiiiiiipe and black pudding.".

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ParsleyTheLioness · 25/10/2011 16:33

Not so dh has taken tothe sofa, declaring he is ill. He is type 2 diabetic, but stuffed himself with pizza and bread today and yesteday, and can't have helped.

No-one is allowed to talk about anything but how ill he is. Have contacted his Dr, who said ring NHS direct, who said make an appointment in a few days time. So nobody is sending a helicopter for him any time soon.

He has made sure he took his sleeping bag downstais this morning, to get attention from mil...all very convenient. If she says anything to me about it,I will be telling her it is all self-inflicted because of his internet dating habit.

she is being a pain, and has dragged ddround a very dullmuseum today, and was a bit put-out cos we walked into town this morning, ph and I.

3 more nights, returning home Friday morning, unless I throw in the towel....

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ParsleyTheLioness · 26/10/2011 00:46

ph sleeping on sofa, which at least means I can mn in peace....think he thought he would smarm his way into bed with me, due to bedroom shortage. But i nearly put my back out moving the furniture to accomodate the blow up bed I had made him bring.

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AKissIsNotAContract · 26/10/2011 01:27

He has an Internet dating habit OP? You sound terribly unhappy and trying to put a brave face on it for the sake of other people. Is it him that wants to do relate or both of you?

ParsleyTheLioness · 26/10/2011 07:10

Thanks Kiss feeling quite alone in Somerset....I am unhappy....he says he wants Relate. Has filled in forms and had to pay in advance, tho we have no idea how long the wait time is. Put the form through the door to save time. On our way to pick up mil for hols....Trouble is, he has kept reverting to type for 20 yrs. Really don;t love him at the mo. Don't know if I can again, will try relate, but not holding my breath. How I have managed not to throttle mil and ph over the last 48 hrs is beyond me....

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fiventhree · 26/10/2011 08:39

Oh Parsley, hadnt seen this thread before. How awful.

He is attention seeking; the last male refuge, being a poorly little boy who is unloved.

It is OK, it is FINE, to take a day without him/them/all. Do that!

ParsleyTheLioness · 26/10/2011 09:30

Hi five (see what I did there?). Nice to talk to you again. I 'saw' you on another thread, but...you know. Yes, I know....said we are going to a hotel if he carries on...only got today and tomorrow. Had to get the dd to wind her neck in a bit, mil is being a pita with her also, to be fair....
Then had to have the same convo with ph. Who is almost 50. Not going to keep dealing with two children indefinately.
Off to a NT house at 10. They have rescued hens. I want to rescue a hen, and call it Attilla the Hen.

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fiventhree · 26/10/2011 12:51

The great warrier? Try Joan of Arc.

Miggsie · 26/10/2011 12:57

Leave him to his mum, she may believe his crap.

Leave with your DD and go to a hotel. It will probably take you MIL 40 mins to stop talking before she notices you have gone and then she''l just yak to her son.

I bet your DD is hating it even more than you.

ParsleyTheLioness · 26/10/2011 16:46

Have just come back from NT house where I got told off for touching the wooden back of a chair accidently...Took nearly an hour to get there. Mil rHelentless in car...,totally self-obsessed crap. And if she stopped talking for a nanosecond Best Boy asker her a question to keep her going. Even assuming the increasingly unlikely scenario that this marriage survives, I will not be doing this again. I actually thought she might be a bit grateful to be asked, and paid for, on holiday, and it would improve her social skills. Triumph of hope over experience. He is just kissing her arse the whole time, and if we try and have a two minute conversation that isn't about her, she has to but in. She's fighting me for him. Again, like she did 20 years ago, and he ain;t no prize now, if he ever was.
Only got tommorow, will take dd up the town for a cream tea. Soup d and Best Boy can do what the hell they like, I've told him I'm not going in a car with the pair of them, unless its to go home. And I might be going on the train.

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ParsleyTheLioness · 26/10/2011 16:50

Migs I don't think she'd notice that quickly....I have come and escaped to the bedroom to vent on Mn and she has made a cup of tea, so I have to go down. Our holiday booking, we paid, and she's acting like I'm 5 and not 50 and she's in charge. She's just shouted me down again. Rather than drench her in hot tea, i have sent teenage dd down for it. It occurs to me that she has been gaslighting me also...if I were to throw a fit, it would somehow be MY fault.

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