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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So, I am away on hols with not so dh, dd and mil. Driving me nuts!

174 replies

ParsleyTheLioness · 24/10/2011 23:25

Living sort of seperately, but under the same room, separate rooms, while we wait for Relate. Holiday arranged ages ago...mil, intefering control freak, not long lost fil, and it seemed like a nice, but far too optimistic thing to do. Decided to come away anyway, but have had to share a room. Arse husband has packed the double blow-up bed, not the single, and I have been moving furniture half the night. Trying to do it quietly, to avoid nosey mil knowing. I thought she would try and have a sneaky peak in our room, so I put a put a bit of paper in the door jam. Sure enough, its fallen out because she's been in. So angry, could throttle the pair of them.

OP posts:
Thzumbazombiewitch · 29/10/2011 13:10

Has he been yet?
Hope all went ok...

ParsleyTheLioness · 29/10/2011 13:38

Yes, all ok thanks. friend accross the road was a bit unnerved when 4 people came to get the motorbike - looked like he'd come mob-handed. But has now gone. Will see him tomorrow at Mac d's which is neutral & safe. Apart from the food...
Feeling sad, will try and get some sleep before taking dd on Ghost train tonight.

Thanks all. [hsmile]

OP posts:
Thzumbazombiewitch · 29/10/2011 13:40

Honey, why are you feeling sad? Because it sounds like him going is the best thing that could happen to you really! Might not feel like it just yet but really, it will soon. :)

(((hugs)))

ParsleyTheLioness · 29/10/2011 13:43

i know thumb, but I really loved him before he smashed it to pieces...don't feel what I'm doing is wrong tho'. Just a form of grief I think.

OP posts:
Thzumbazombiewitch · 29/10/2011 13:48

Yes, that's it - you're grieving the relationship you should have had with the man you thought you had married - makes sense. Sorry, I thought perhaps you were a little further down the road with this relationship being over than you actually are.

Will endeavour to make you smile but have to PM you because it's too revealing to post it on here...

Squiglettsmummy2bx · 29/10/2011 15:22

I'm feeling the same at the moment parsley. I'm pregnant by a complete twat & am grieving the happy family unit I wanted & feel sad I won't have that but not sad for him Sad I keep being told it gets easier.

Eglu · 29/10/2011 17:53

Parsley you are an amazing strong woman. I hope you know that. What complete prick you are married to. Sad

I hope you are soon rid of him for good.

ParsleyTheLioness · 30/10/2011 06:42

Thanks Peeps, for being lovely and supportive. My DM is not good at support, but cares iuswim.

You have had good words for me wise mners. Can i coin WMNers for this, wmn for short? Pig husband came from another place. Arse husband all my own work...(deeply proud emoticon)

Will have to see him at Mcd today. If he makes it difficult in any way, other than the fact that it is a difficult situation, access will be organised through a solicitor.

Bit upset last night...difficult to believe someone will not only kill your love, but torture it out of you, and kill you in a slow way, not hit you by a bus or whatever....if they want Out that's ok...well not ok, but I have never hung onto a man's ankles on the way out yet iuswim. Can only think he wants to convince Soup Dragon and the local Church (yes, complete arse hypocrite) that he has done All he can, but what can you do when She is nuts?

OP posts:
ParsleyTheLioness · 30/10/2011 06:45

Eglue I fear he is gone for good, I just can't see a way back. That horribly ugly scene on Thursday at the holiday cottage where he had dd in a vice grip, screaming over the top of her while she broke her heart will never leave me.
Squiglett have you got any RL support love?

OP posts:
Thzumbazombiewitch · 30/10/2011 07:02

Whenever you are feeling down and miss him, remember that scene with your DD. It will make you feel so much better that he is not around to do that to your DD regularly again. :(

While I love the imagery of your MIL as the SoupDragon, I have to do a doubletake every time you call her that because there is a MN poster called Soupdragon - of course, rationally I know you are not talking about her but it still causes me momentary confusion! [hblush]

Hope McD's visit goes ok to avoid solicitor costs.

ParsleyTheLioness · 30/10/2011 07:16

Sorry, yes I realise this, as I wanted the name earlier on...I like the idea that the Soupdragon in the Clangers made everything ok....The reason I coined the nn for mil within the family, is because of her tendency to TELL me to provide soup for lunch every time she comes. Because at 50 yrs of age I am not capable of working out what to feed peeps by myself. In this case it was a passive aggressive reference to let off steam, as all other attempts to address the issue, and believe me I have tried them, have failed.

We need a different one...if I call her sd on this thread would that help, or would you think step dad, who doesn't really feature for me, although he does exist. Just lives a long way away....

What time is it for you Thumb?

OP posts:
Thzumbazombiewitch · 30/10/2011 08:04

It is now 19:02 - with your clocks going back last night, we are now 11 hours ahead of you. :)

How very bizarre of her to tell you to provide soup! just another little needle every time, hey! You call her what you like - I can deal with my confusion [hwink]

ParsleyTheLioness · 30/10/2011 08:09

No, in the shower just now I thought she is little, and poison.... poison dwarf, pd, that do yer, thumb?

OP posts:
ChildofIsis · 30/10/2011 08:12

I used to call my late mil poison dwarf, not out loud mind you but it certainly helped.

ParsleyTheLioness · 30/10/2011 08:15

Morning Isis yes it does help, not nice but better than slapping them. People frown on that for some strange reason...

OP posts:
ChildofIsis · 30/10/2011 08:23

If I had thought I could get away with it I would have done much more than slap her. She was an interfering, nosy baggage.

She did love her family very much and worked tirelessly within her profession, even being commended by the Queen for her long service within the civil service.

However she spent half her time trying to re-tie the umbilical and half her time pushing xh away, strange woman.

ParsleyTheLioness · 30/10/2011 08:33

Push me, pull you....pd wants to control a situation completely, or is not interested in it. He is not an only btw, one of four, but he is Best Boy...

OP posts:
Thzumbazombiewitch · 30/10/2011 08:41

Excellent! love that one :)

You married the GOlden Child, did you? are you still in touch with the others? What do they say?

ParsleyTheLioness · 30/10/2011 08:46

sorry, do you mean bils and sil? They would just stick up for ah....pd has not even rung to see how dd is, despite the state she saw her in on Thurs. Cow....so pd it is then?

OP posts:
Squiglettsmummy2bx · 30/10/2011 08:49

Thanks parsley, I'm close to my mum although she has been really ill in hospital with pneumonia so I'm trying to down play what is going on at the moment. Unfortunately everyone except for me could see how much of a twat my ex was so I know there is a lot of you made your bed now lie in it going around but when you are in love you seem to focus on the good & downplay the bad until they strangle the life out of the good & you are forced to see it. I have my great kids (not his) & my bump to focus on so will be ok & seeing you being so strong is kind of spurring me on so thank you & sorry for hijacking your thread, didn't mean this to be so long Blush

ParsleyTheLioness · 30/10/2011 08:53

No worries...sure your mum will be supportive when she's up to it....we should have another thread....what could we call it?

OP posts:
Thzumbazombiewitch · 30/10/2011 08:55

Yeah them - oh well. Best off out of it, leave 'em all to rot together, hey?

PD and AH and the rest.

Squiglett - do ask for more support for yourself if you want it - plenty to go around! Sorry your mum's not well, hope she gets better very soon.

BellaDonnaSansMerci · 30/10/2011 09:14

Just seen this, Parsley. Sad

Hope today is a better day.

ParsleyTheLioness · 30/10/2011 09:32

Thanks bella, hope so, but got the dreaded macs trip first. If he starts the pleading thing, we need to leave. Maybe need to tex ahead, cos don't think this message is sinking in.

OP posts:
BellaDonnaSansMerci · 30/10/2011 09:42

I only know what you've posted here but he seems like an attention seeking arse (at best). I wonder if fore-warning him gives him a chance to further manipulate things? If he starts behaving badly, it might be more powerful to simply leave. Although that could result in some more drama. I'm not helping here... Just hope you and your DD are ok. Your description of his behaviour towards her is chilling.

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