The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Devilish Demon Drink Into Touch This Hallowe'en!. Mwahahahaha!

[Mwahahahahahahahouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse, well normally! [hgrin]

Welcome to the Bus. We are a mixed bunch of Babes, some of us drink, some of us don't and some of us are trying to find out the best way to cut down or stop completely.

There is plenty of room on the Bus for everyone so, come say hi. [hsmile]

And, if you'd like to see what brought us all here, you can read all of the past threads, including the original one by JWN RIGHT HERE

MsGee - is okay, I've had contact via text. I know she's busy with work at the moment, I shall pass on the mention and see if she can pop in for a

Signing off for now, just wanted to pop in and say nighty night Babes xx

BTW - Panache less than 5% beer from Morrisons is very like continental beer, the ones in the little squat bottles, rather nice to be able to fool myself that I am having a beer without actually having one when the demon creeps up!

quick early morning good morning babes

have been a bit busy but am still lurking about.

hope everyone is ok - thurso, weekend sounds lovely! fingers crossed you had a better nights sleep mouse and that you didn't get woken up too early isindie.
oh and yay for neat presents faire and organisation.

Also awake at silly o'clock (the wrong side of 6 is just painful - lots of sympathy for isinde here) so I decided to go with it and have had a productive couple of hours.
No getting lost inside my head though, finding that I need to keep busy more than ever at the moment, not that that ever seems to be a problem, I seem to be tending towards the other extreme. Time for coffee, and for feeling grateful that I've had a couple of "no-one would know" moments in recent days followed swiftly by thinking "I really, really don't want to go back there again".
I would never suggest that this is easy, but it really is so worth it. And it is actually easier than the alternative - being on that merry go round of drink, despair, guilt and the insanity was exhausting.
Love to all x

Morning all,

Hello noteven bloody well done for getting over the "no-one would know moments". Because, maybe it would lead to everyone knows moments, and you have come too far to go back to that road. I salute you, I really do.

All the walking at the weekend has done me good, I now feel like starting my swimming again, which has vanished into non-existence lately. It so true that excercise lifts the mood, it's just getting the impetus to actually do it.

I feel so much brighter in myself this week, crikey, this path of life is full of quirkey meanderings.

Have good days Babes, and Mif.

xxxxxx

I hate merry go rounds they make me feel sick

Morning, morning, another surreal foggy one here.

I didn't drink last night!!!
Jeez, it was a struggle though. why is it the hours 5-9pm are awful and then it just goes and you wonder what all the fuss was about?
Working from home today so might get out for a walk this sunny afternoon.
Um, would Gerald be heading out to the Christmas markets at any time in the near future????

Well done ma, wish I could say the same grrrr, I am so weak, but it is so hard when it is literally under your nose, excuses, excuses. Good news on all fronts though, bank has called the dogs off and have put a workable plan in place, soooo relieved. I was so scared last week, the thought of losing everything you have built up over 11 years is horrible. Also DS gf out of hospital and all is looking well, thank god.

Hope you are all going well today.

Today I WILL NOT BE DRINKING!!!!!

Afternoon Babes

Ma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - well done! Wow, that is such an achievement for you. I'm super pleased for you, I really am. xx

Faire - Am finding my social life gets in the way of the dieting sometimes but I only drank 3 glasses of wine all day and I was in boozy company, so I'm happy with that

And do you know what, that is all it takes, for YOU to be happy with how YOU are drinking. Doesn't that feel good, to be able to say that you are happy with how the night/day went? How you were in control for the whole day? I bet you are smiling remembering just how well you have done....

I didn't drink last night either, Nemo was up for 5 hours in the middle of the night, fell asleep at 6.15am and then woke back up at 7am. You know when you go past a certain point and wonder if you can make it back? That's where I am today with exhaustion.

I woke up in agony at one point, stuck to the bed, I seriously couldn't move so I'm going to the docs later today. They really do need to look at my meds and sort something out. I can't keep overdosing on codeine to cure the pain

xx

mouse sorry you are in the wars again, exhaustion and pain is a horrible combination to be dealing with! Am very that one night without drinking IS an achievement for me. that's quite shocking!!
I have just been out for an hour's march in the sunshine and an horribly out of puff - have lost all my previous running fitness. Just have to start again I suppose.
Blossom that is excellent news re the bank. What a relief for you!

Still lurking and listening to everyones life,

Mouseface hope Nemo feels better soon.

Blossom good news on DS gf

Faire - think you've got it sorted I really do - well done

Thurso - well do on the exercise

Well done Ma!!

Noteven - well done at getting over the 'no-one would know moments' that must have taken some strength

I am on day 14 AF!!! not missing it at all at the minute as I am battling with surging hormones (have just come off the mini pill) and anxiety. The old age saying of I was 'worried sick' is true - I really have upset my tummy terribly with my anxiety.

anyhoo, sure will manage to calm down at some point, I am having accupuncture next week on recommendation of one of my lovely friends.

Oh and TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING, I thank you Brave Babes xxxx

Ma - don't be , not at all. You are ace, you did one night and now you know you can, you WILL do it again. xx

Blossom - oh what great news! I bet you feel fantastic. Such a relief xx

MrsJH - ah, hormones, or as they as known in this house, hormentals! Sorry you are suffering, look after yourself xx

Two hours until I can get to see the powers that be at the GPs. Cross your fingers please that he gives me some real pain meds, once and for all.

Mouseface good luck with the GP's. And yes I am feeling so relieved about everything, thanks, it was such pressure, not out of the woods yet but more manageable.

thinking of you mouse - hope the doctor's goes well x

well done on the night of ma maybe you could start with a small goal like you can't drink more than three nights in a row? so at worst you'd have 3 days on and one day off and when you're into that reduce it to two days on to one day off? would be a gentle but effective way to start moving forward?

i'm just not drinking 'much' rather than not drinking at the minute. happy with that for now.

feeling really tired and drained today - think i'm coming down with something.

nothing exciting to report really. had a sort of mini date yesterday, really nice looking guy and nice enough but not sure whether i want to see him again - thinking about it today i realised we spent 90% of the time talking about him and his stuff and he didn't really ask me any questions and was quite happy to talk about himself so much. maybe being harsh as he might have been nervous for all i know.

trying to avoid making my usual conclusion that good looking men are vacuous

Hi brave babes. Reasonably good here - I didn't drink on friday which is a miracle for me and had a really nice evening watching Children in Need. It was the most amazing feeling waking up on a Saturday without that hangover/foggy feeling. Had a lovely day with DD on sat - went on a march organised by Fawcett society which was about the cuts disproportionately affecting women and an underlying agenda to push women back into the home. Took me right back to my uni days when I was always going on marches and protests. DD loved it, chanted the chants, waved her placard etc.I drank in moderation in the evening (by my standards) and then drank a lot on Sunday as went to Pizza hut for friends DS' birthday party. Didn't get really drunk (remember everything anyway) but had raging hangover yesterday due to mixing drinks I think. Didn't drink last night and not going to drink tonight. Out of the 21 days in November, I haven't drank for 10 of them which is good going for someone who's drank heavily every night for nearly 20 years. JWN - thank you so much for starting this thread, you're a total inspiration.
Mouse your post about having to be really really ready to stop struck such a chord with me. I think I've been busting a gut thinking that anything less than abstinence isn't worth aiming for but the reality is that I know there's no way I'll be strong enough to abstain over Xmas so I'm going to keep sticking with my 3 alcohol free nights a week, make sure I don't get drunk on the other nights and gather all my strength for trying to have a month off in January.
I don't want to go all sickly on everyone but I had one of those weekends when all my DCs were just so gorgeous that I thought my heart would burst and I have to stay around as long as I can for them and be a good mum. The sight of my DD marching down Whitehall chanting "Power to the women!" just melted me. I want to make her proud of me, not embarassed.
Thanks for all the inspiration, you're all amazing and today, I will not be drinking.

Lurking here.So full of admiration for everyone who posts here regularly,this is such a reassuring place to come to,and so inspirational.
Am full of flu,so are 3 youngest dc.
Managing to drink very small amounts on weekends and aiming for nothing all week,but my eating has taken over where I've got control of the drinking (for now).And yesterday I celebrated dd's radio appearance with what became a whole bottle.

yay for dd upsylazy

think i'm with you piranha - new i felt rough/not right but over the last hour or so have really felt my glands swelling up and that weird achy, weight spreading into my limbs and my head is throbbing.

ok so yesterday was your mess up and today is a new day back on board yes? goal being not to drink in the week at all and small amounts only at weekend?

knew not new

Evening

Thanks for your comments mouse and MrsJH (well done on 14 days, wow). I really do feel good. I keep waiting for it all to fall apart but as long as I stay 'aware' and vigilant I think I can manage this, one day at a time.

Well done ma, sometimes just getting your head round it is the hardest part. Once you're 'in the zone' you're halfway there I think.

It is strange though, how strong those triggers can be and how a certain time of day is really difficult for some and not a bit for others. It takes a while to get to know your drinking self before you are ready to make those changes. Well, it did for me, anyway.

How did you get on at the docs mouse? I really do feel for those suffering, in pain or ill. As if life ain't hard enough sometimes. x

mouse how did you get on? are you ok?

Sorry, crazy evening.

Well, the doc has increased my morphine again! I really don't know how much more I can take. He said that people on the dose I am now on are people with terminal illnesses. Made me feel really great

So I'm now on 90mg of morphine in the morning, and the same at night, slow release stuff, with liquid morphine in between, even though I told him that it doesn't really work. He wants me to up the amount I take until it does work.

FFS. I'm going to be a smack head aren't I?

I hate being on these drugs actually, it's just another addiction isn't it?

Another drug to get out of my system?

Upsy - I'm glad that you have found a level platform for you right now and yes, the feelings your DCs give you are what should drive you forward, they should make you fight harder. xx

Saf - Hmmmmm, so, how did you leave it with him?

Off to bed now, thanks for all of the posts asking after me, I'm okay, just trying to take stock of my shit body and trying to not let it get to me....

Night night Brave Babes, sending sleep fairies to those who need them, hoping that Nemo may sleep a bit better tonight.

Be back in the morning.

Huge hugs and mwahs to you all xxxxxx

huge hugs back to you mouse. get some sleep - try not to think about it tonight when you're tired and fed up x

mouse listen here Your doc would NOT prescribe those meds for you if he/she was not absolutley certain that you needed them - not for a buzz or a high, but because you need them to deal with the pain. You already told him/her that you were medicating your pain (and the rest of life) with alcohol. Well he/she is giving you an alternative.

Do exactly as you were told. Take what you need until the pain disappears. You can be certain that your doc will have a good plan for the next stage. I understand that you don't like it - I had the most horrid experience with morphine (in hospital) - but it will give you a chance to rest, to sleep, to be free of the stress of pain for a while. And that will be enormously good for you.

But remember, the morphine is an alternative to self-medicating with alcohol, not an addition . Sleep well lovely x

ma today dd and I went to [the place that you and I met up] for lunch. The sun was shining, and I felt tru(e)ly happy looking out at the sea - balm for the soul.