The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Devilish Demon Drink Into Touch This Hallowe'en!. Mwahahahaha!

[Mwahahahahahahahouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse, well normally! [hgrin]

Welcome to the Bus. We are a mixed bunch of Babes, some of us drink, some of us don't and some of us are trying to find out the best way to cut down or stop completely.

There is plenty of room on the Bus for everyone so, come say hi. [hsmile]

And, if you'd like to see what brought us all here, you can read all of the past threads, including the original one by JWN RIGHT HERE

ma I wonder if your actions are saying different things to your words? You stay - why? - and he thinks you want to, and he loves you including in a physical way - how is he supposed to know what's going on in your head? I disagree with Mouse here - if you don't either leave or agree to live in the same house but be entirely seperate, I don't think he is "pushing" you to do anything, he is merely living with his wife.

sAf YES we are as you are and doing as you are...
I just was replying to BB above, and yes it's definitely as I/we/one has to - DD and I are enjoying our time more as we nearly didn't have it. We live in a way I can cope with, if I lived in a rurally isolated way like you do I think - I might love it but I so couldn't handle DD - so much respect for what you do!!

Morning all!

morning

what do you mean noteven? what do you think would be harder living rurally? like less to do and stuff?

Morning all

Saf is your ds at school now then? Sorry, I thought he was still at preschool

All you babes doing fun things with your littlies, you will not regret a minute of it. I'd go back there tomorrow. Mine are teenagers and much more independent. We still do lots together, talk a lot and have cuddles but, but, but . . . collecting leaves and sticking them onto paper, hovering under trees ready to catch if they fall, school plays, digging for worms, reading stories, dressing up, playing chase, ah . . . how can you miss someone when they're still there right under your nose? Usually leaving a trail of dirty cups, plates and clothes behind them .

I used to live next door to an 80 year old great grandma when mine were little and she always used to say to me, 'Those are the best days of your life if you did but know it.' Wise words.

Good morning all, loving the thread title! I am in a good mood today, baby slept through for second night in a row!

yes he just started this september faire wise words indeed. i know what you mean about missing them - i get it already sometimes - my lovely boy is right here but my snuggly baby who loved burrowing his head into my chest is nowhere to be seen and won't be back again. we had a lot of fun this weekend actually, i managed to get onto his level and pace for a day.

yay for sleep eeek

so i drank this weekend. no drunkeness or madness or hangovers even but i had a couple of glasses of wine on friday, saturday and a few last night. drank just under 2 bottles over the course of the weekend.

i don't feel bad and maybe i should? 3 weeks of no drinking then a weekend of moderate drinking. i suppose the question is where to next and that's what i have to decide. to go back to not drinking at all or to go for not in the week or to have a go at 'normal' drinking i'll work it out

how is everyone doing after the weekend?

Morning, boing!

DD slept brilliantly last night, woke once because she was cold then we slept right through DH leaving for work and slept through till after 7. Woo hoo. Three nights of great sleep now (Mouse she slept brilliantly on sat night, swimming is wonderful for tiring her out).

Weekend was lovely - PIL were actually great and I was the perfect DIL . Swimming with DD and Nanny, baking biscuits together etc.

Back to it today ... had my first client call of the week .. someone I work for half a day a month and he needs to call me twice a week. Grrr. Good news is that today I finish a contract I've had for two years and have been unhappy with. I am looking forward to sending my handover notes .

thurso ((( ))) I wish I could say something useful. xxx

saf how are you doing. Are we on day 3?

Faire you are so right. I really want to hang on to every second with DD before she starts school next September. that said, she drives me mad half the time when she is here. Her favourite phrase is "play with me" which rarely involves me being allowed to play with her toys, just to watch her. Although we had a lovely game of mummy and baby unicorn / flying horses yesterday evening.

Right, onto work - this contract will not finish itself!

your on day 3. i'm on day one and haven't even decided if i will be drinking or not yet. going to my sisters for tea.

well done for getting straight back on the bus x

dd is doing great. She is doing really difficult things like getting her clothes out, then having a sleep; having a shower, then having a sleep; eating some lunch, then having a sleep; watching the tv, then....... guess what? Best thing for recovery I think. isindie take a leaf out her book and make sure that you rest.

saf parts of your post remind me of myself. I would manage to go for some time without a drink, feel fine, find the whole 'not-drinking' less difficult than I thought. Then, for whatever reason I'd have a couple of drinks, and drink 'normally' for a little while. The thing that I found was that after I'd been drinking for a few days (even when it wasn't very much) my resolve to change my drinking habits seemed to be dulled right down. Partly because I thought that I could drink normally, partly (for me) having had a couple of days drinking I didn't want to think about not having a drink for the next couple of days. I'd bargain with myself about not having a drink until Friday, which turned into Thursday, and then which also included a drink on a Tuesday, until gradually (or sometimes not so gradually) I was back to drinking every day. Of course that's my story and not yours, and I really hope that your story is different. Don't let the winter drag you down.

Morning Babes

IsinDe!!!! Fantastic to see you, sorry that you have the lurgy. Not nice. Yes to taking paracetamol. Try rinsing your mouth with a salt water solution to get rid of the ulcers, you must be really run down to have them. Poor you xx

Fantastic image of you and the DTs in Morrisons [hgrin]

Rough night again last night and Nemo's is here trying to get him to engage so that I can get out of the house........ not looking good. Tears and tears and more tears.

you're not wrong venus - it's that frankly it's been really nice having a couple of glasses of wine at night for a few days. it's all a bit honeymoonish having had a break and really nice to relax like that again because yes it does in those small amounts on the rare occasion relax you and it's enjoyable. so no, i don't want to think about not drinking straight away again obviously

i don't know if i need to or not either. grr.

thanks x and glad to hear dd is on the mend and finding her feet.

x posted due to being very slow - sorry mouse

saf sorry x post. I wish I knew what to advise you. All I know is that for me, I suspect I will slip back into a bad relationship with drinking again. I drank most of a bottle on friday night and it didn't feel light and relaxed. I felt like I was on a mission if that makes sense? I also like the lack of thought dedicated to drinking which did my head in.

venus glad DD on the mend and that you are taking care of yourself. xx

isinde I think you sound well posh - olives?? even in morrisons? My DD is a total northerner / midlander despite being born dahn sarf. Loves porks pies I do think you are well tough with the cordosyl though - DH has that for his poorly gums and its lethal. Hope you feel better soon.

Mouse how are you doing? Did Nemo go out? I hope you are doing ok. I know what a rough night can do to a person. xxx

I finished my contract! I am so relieved. . One less client will be much easier.

Right off to forage for lunch. DD turned her nose up at her lunch yesterday so I suspect I will be eating toddler sized leftovers. I have fruit rotting in the fruit bowl and a rapidly diminishing biscuit tin. None of this says 'amazing weight loss' to me. Today I am embracing the fact that I am a fat, ginger, geek. And feeding the geek biscuits.

Poor mouse- hope you got out.

sAf what you describe sounds exhausting. To use miflaw's boxer analogy to you have the energy to keep fighting? Honeymoon period is a good description- you could carry on as you are, or just step out of the ring.

Isindepumpkinplace?

I'll get me coat...

Well, I went to AA. About 15 other people who I didn't know, but by the end wouldn't have minded if I had. Such a wide range of people was surprising, mainly women. Everyone so friendly and welcoming. Feel a bit bewildered by whole experience, but strangely lighter in spirit. I will be going back , but forgot next week is half term so won't be next week.

see that's the thing isindie - my drinking isn't that mad you know? which makes me wonder if it is really a problem, problem iyswim rather than something that i need to just keep in check and not to be relied upon for relaxation/dealing with stress/loneliness/etc because long term it's really not a very effective way of dealing with issues.

the experiment with stopping for three weeks showed me that yes i have more energy when i don't drink initially and it's fine and more gets done etc and that yes it's important not to drink too much or too often. i don't feel like i need to stop forever though - it's not that problematic for me.

it's more like something i need to keep an eye on when i'm not feeling good that i don't end up leaning on it too heavily as a crutch. when i got a bit down and struggling when i wasn't drinking i ended up using food to try and deal with stuff - just constant hunger for eating crap. so i think it's about feeling better and finding better and more varied ways of dealing with tiredness, stress, empty feelings etc rather than the problem being alcohol or the solution being found in stopping drinking.

alcohol becomes a problem for me when i'm not feeling good and that goes on for a length of time and i find myself drinking to relax/feel better too regularly - which then in turn is counter productive because the drinking itself brings in problems. i'm the same with food, i think i'd be the same with drugs if they were around me. i use stuff to try and 'fix' my mood when i'm not well and i need to address that.

hi thinice - well done and i'm really glad it has made you feel lighter is there no way to get an hours childcare next week so you can go along again?

saf what can you do to ease the loneliness - I kind of understand what noteven was saying earlier. It sounds remote where you are (no idea if that is the case?) and that there are fewer opportunities to meet other people. Is this the case?

"if I want to drink at all then I need to remember that I can do this as long as I remember that it needs to entail large amounts of booze, a safe environment and feeling like shite for the next 48 hours at least....and funnily when looked at that way it doesn't seem so appealing"

Isindie, strangely enough out of all the posts on this thread over the last year or so, this one really resonates with me

BOINNNNNNNGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

hello lovely babes! - well, im buffed and polished and massaged and relaxed and blonde and waxed (i sound like a car! )

im also stressed, busy and buzzing around like a bizzy bee! - i have been so busy since i got back from my spa break its untrue, been to a wedding 'fayre' (ugghhh!) with dd, got loads of work to catch up on and loads of reading on here to catch up with! blimey, you lot cant half clack!

see you laters babes! XXXXXX

I made it out!!!!

IsinDe - How about AGhostIsinDeHouse? Or something similar, ending IsinDeHouse?

Re drinking, I gave myself permission to have a glass of wine the other night. I had been (and still am) finding it incredibly hard not to drink, regardless of what my GP has told me.

How fucking selfish does that make me? Stop drinking or you'll end up with cirrhosis. Hmm, not rocket science is it?

thinice - well done on going to AA! That is great, but even more so is the fact that you felt welcomed. Brilliant x

saf it sounds as though you understand your drinking pretty well. Just make sure that you surround yourself with tactics to help when things get tough - and keep on coming here, of course

Ha JWN I bet that until you went to the wedding 'fayre' you had no idea that your dd NEEDED to have cyrstals on the tables, themed bottle stoppers to give away as favours, unity candles, unity sand and a ring pillow for the ceremony, a signing plate and a wedding wish tree to record who was at the wedding, a balloon archway, a vintage-style ice cream cart to amuse your guests while the photos are being taken, ditto for a magician, a video-box so that as guests get drunk they can record their drunken messages wedding greetings for all posterity, and a £5K firework display to end the evening. What fun!