The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Devilish Demon Drink Into Touch This Hallowe'en!. Mwahahahaha!

[Mwahahahahahahahouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse, well normally! [hgrin]

Welcome to the Bus. We are a mixed bunch of Babes, some of us drink, some of us don't and some of us are trying to find out the best way to cut down or stop completely.

There is plenty of room on the Bus for everyone so, come say hi. [hsmile]

And, if you'd like to see what brought us all here, you can read all of the past threads, including the original one by JWN RIGHT HERE

lots of half finished DIY around the place that wouldn't go in a cupboard but yes i'm sure there's a compromise approach. i know she's not coming to see the house. i'm afraid it probably will just be a surface clean and stick all the mess in my bedroom job (if there's any room left in my bedroom with all the mess that's already in it).

can you do something nice for yourself with your early finish faire? bath? read? or are you already swamped in things to do or demands from others?

sAf I was also going to say, forget a cupboard, I have to chuck the mess in an out of sight room!!

I guess what I was meaning earlier, to atosilis, is that I didn't stop drinking to be miserable. If that had happened, I might as well be drinking because that was miserable too. It doesn't have to be like that - what I needed in those very early days was some hope, because of course you don't feel better all at once and life continues to throw crap at us and we don't learn serenity overnight. I was in a right state yesterday afternoon, tears and feelings threatening to engulf me, but I'm learning a few tools to deal with it, things that don't say stop crying and pull yourself together but let me feel without falling apart or needing a drink or behaving otherwise destructuvely. There are some lovely positive posts about - one Bafana wrote recently about how things have changed despite life still being tough, and venus too has a serenity that I look at and think, I want that, I am going to stick at this and see if I get it.

I am in danger of launching off into a right waffly moment here, can you tell I've not seen another human being all day :) will definitely be going to a meeting tonight.

Faire you sound so peaceful - am really amazed and pleased for you that you stopped in time - before it became more than a habit. I was too entrenched in denial at that stage of my drinking I think. You sound very contented and long may it continue.

blossom hang in there. Sometimes it's 10 minutes at a time, forget ODAAT.

OK, I really am going...

Yes, very true about the bad things of sobriety. I need to go out with friends to check that I am still 'sociable, witty, urbane' etc without drink. What if they don't invite me out any more? On the other hand, they might be mightily relieved...
One of the things that is really motivating me is that one daughter rides a motor bike and another is pregnant. Neither parents are in top health. I am petrified of getting a phone call with bad news and I'm not able to react to it - can't drive to wherever I need to go. When OH had a stroke last year I came back to the house sober and was able to deal with it, dial 999 etc. To be honest, I think he had a minor TIA 4 days earlier and we were both too pissed to notice. We both just thought the stumbling and slurring was alcohol!!!! Really bad headache? Can't see/speak? Falling over in the corridor? Here, have a nurofen.
Lots of reasons to stop but the first weeks are the worst. I just love sitting in silence while OH shrieks hysterically at something slightly funny on tv while slugging wine.
Just have to avoid cat's piss situations! Or as John Irving has it "Keep passing the open windows" (Hotel New Hampshire).
Big to everyone on here!

Sorry not...mousie, I didn't see your message before I wrote mine but all very true

Bless her, it's not easy when you have so much to deal with but remember, we're here for you no matter what, drinking or not okay? Don't just vanish xx

Babes, so sorry to hear of al your troubles and struggles. I feel so and helpness, I can only hold you all in my heart and offer this one piece of advice: no situation is improved by drinking on it. Try to stay strong
and all round.
Ma we need some of your DS's cakes on board!
bafana I felt like that as well, not sure whether to celebrate or crawl into a little hole and hide! All will be well ODAAT.

Saf you must be reading my mind, I did indeed have a long soak in a hot, scented bubble bath with the steam curling the pages of my book. Bliss .

noteven I'm learning a few tools to deal with it, things that don't say stop crying and pull yourself together but let me feel without falling apart or needing a drink or behaving otherwise destructuvely well done you lovely lady, I think that ^^ is what so many of us are trying to achieve. I agree with you about the many supportive words of wisdom on this thread.

I do feel peaceful and contented at the moment. I have come to a few realisations which have helped me make some 'sense' of my life. I think I tried so hard before to stop drinking and always failed and hated myself. But I see now that I was going about it the wrong way. Simple fact is that drinking solves nothing. Drinking makes lots of things much worse. Drinking like I did damaged my self esteem. Giving it up is giving up all the bad stuff. Once I got my head around that things started to 'click' with me.

Someone on this bus (sorry can't remember who) said that before you drank, when you were a child, you didn't need alcohol to deal with life. That started me thinking. Because my childhood was not brilliant, I did have stress and 'issues' to deal with, but I didn't drink. It made me realise that it was possible to cope with life without turning to alcohol.

But other put it so much better than me

Bproud - glad you are okay. Lovely to see you here. The Bus has been so very quiet of late which makes it hard for others to post I think.

Sending love and strength out across the ether tonight, hoping that you are all okay, getting by, staying afloat.....

Please just come and post if you are struggling. Even just to get it out. xx

Hello all, it's been a while since I've posted but still keep checking up on you all and being inspired and moved by turns. Things are going very well with me - have drunk nothing for the best part of 8 weeks now and to those of you who are struggling with not drinking I wanted to say again what many others have said here about it SOO being worth the effort. There is a deep seated peace and relaxation that comes from sobriety that you can almost taste (and it's a better taste than white wine/cat's piss ( at that)). I notice it the most when I get woken up (nightly) by DS2 needing a cuddle or a wee and I revel in the joy of being sober and alert at 4 am. Not saying I enjoy being woken at 4am but the peace and solitude of a non-hungover 4am cuddle with a sleepy 4 year old is a far far betting thing than doing it with a thumping head, a dry mouth and a heaving stomach. Oh and my sex drive has come back .

So many many thanks to the Bus and to the Babes on it for getting me this far. Planning to stay on for a while yet and to drag as many others on as possible (kicking and screaming or not).

OK - I'm in a right fecking pickle..well worse that that. DM terminal bladder cancer (new news today for me -we were told it was another kind of cancer - but reading her chemo prescription that's what it said)

She had first Chemo yesterday and today seemed like a different woman - alive, vibrant, chatty, full of life..then i realised she's on steroids and had mistakenly taken two extra last night. They make you feel great...............

Just feel like she's going to take a nosedive in the next couple of days..

DP away and back tonight maybe - not sure after text I sent him to say that I know what it's like living with an alcoholic ( I did for 7 years) and i understood if he wanted out....

Just don't know what to do - well I do - I need to see the Doc and get Librium - the only thing that has worked for me in the past to stop.

Dilema - made a huge fuss six months ago with doc about him prescribing me naltrexone, and put him in the position of having to take it up with his medical council or whoever - some of you will remember I had to see private doc in Edinburgh to get it.

Obviously the naltrexone didn't work for me - because I didn't take it as prescribed.

So - not seen Doc since,feel like a total failure etc etc. am very slightly in love with him cos he is far too young and gorgeous

what a long post to convince myself that I need to pick up the phone and ask for help.

Oh fucking shit shit shit

Will make appointment tomorrow.

Otherwise I'll lose my partner, my DD and any quality time I have left with my mum.

Off to bed BB's - any advice gratefully received xxxx

Ernie - sex drive - I haven't had any of that for years

and it gets you to sleep - a good old shag

and keeps the the old DP happy

am really off to bed now

Silver (((hugs))) for you. What a terrible way to find out what's going on with your mum ! She will have good and bad days whatever treatment she is having (going on my darling MIL and her treatment for cancer) so I would advise you to enjoy all the good days you get with her, as much as it's possible to 'enjoy' them.

Re the doc. Well, GPs are there for us. They are duty bound to do what they can for us, so I would suggest coming completely clean with the doctor and see if the two of you can get you on the right track.

And keep posting, even if you just want to let it all out x

Hi Silver
Well done for getting all that out, it can't have been easy. Did it say palliative rather than terminal? What are they giving her?
Mum was on steroids for, I don't know, most of the last 4 years I think. They're a wonder drug in life limiting disease. PM me if I can help before I out myself well and truly.

Well, librium if you are drinking very heavily can get you through those first few days but GPs aren't supposed to community detox you any more because tbh people simply don't stay stopped. Stopping is the easy bit. You know that, you've done it before. Staying stopped is the problem, living with life (and there's a lot of life for you) on life's terms, that is bloody difficult. You remind me of me a year ago. Desperate, mum had (it turned out) 6 months, relationship then ended in the December, but still not desperate enough. I still didn't give in, stop fighting, surrender, whatever you want to call it, for months. Because I didn't have anything to replace the alcohol with. And life hurt, really hurt, and I went back to my default setting. So I guess what I'm saying is, do you have thoughts on staying stopped? Because life as a 'dry drunk' is even more painful than life as a drinking alcoholic, IME.

Morning to everyone else, I need to get packed and sorted and on a train and seem to have more to do than I thought when I fell into bed last night. Aaaargh!!! etc. Will get on with it rather than whinge about it - and I certainly couldn't do any of this if I was drinking, and it's amazing not to be.

Morning babes

Great post noteven

Ernie well done 8 weeks.

Happy Thursday everyone x

Morning babes! Hugs to you, silver, what a terrible time of it you're having. I'm so sorry.

And blossom I really hope you manage to get things sorted out. That all sounds very difficult, you poor love.

Ernie, it's actually never occurred to me that my MIA libido might be due to the alcohol. I've been putting it down to the pill, but actually it makes sense that it might be wine-related. Innnteresting. [strokes chin]

I read this magazine article last friday that suggested that those with an alcohol 'habit' take 1000mg of vitamin C daily, so I've been doing that since the weekend. I don't know if it's having any effect, but I've eventually managed to get over my Day3 hump, and I'm on my fourth day of being clean and sober and feeling great. :o

That will most likely change tomorrow as I'm off for a much-needed girly weekend with my oldest friends, but the girls don't drink massively anyway, so I'm going to try to drink in a responsible fashion and not be the most drunk person there as usual.

Sorry I'm not posting more often, but I'm working a lot of things out in my head at the moment. Just knowing that the bus is here and that I'm not alone in dealing with this is really helping a lot though.

Hello to all the Babes,

Hope everyone is feeling boingy or at least positive today.

I agree with Theala , I haven't been around much as also have been sorting my own thoughts out, though I have checked in and read most posts, and I am very sorry to hear that quite a few babes are having a bad time of things.

I am quickly posting before I run off to the Chiropractor and then really have to do some house work when I come back before getting DCs from school.

I am now on day 10 of sobriety and I am beginning to feel better in myself, my anxiety has been my biggest issue at the minute and I have just been to drs who has put me on very low dose of ads for 2-3 weeks, she has also examined my stomach and said she cannot feel or hear any inflammation in my liver or gall bladder and as I have no symptoms she thinks extremely unlikely I have a problem there. To put my mind at rest I am having bloods next fri and back to see her a week later. I probably played the alcohol down a bit as I think that I can probably do this on my own.

Today i feel a little more 'normal' and I will also NOT be drinking today.

One of my plans is to get to xmas with no alcohol. What I am going to do about two social occasions we have coming up I do not know yet, but am considering that it will be that I will restart propoints and weight watchers will use my extra points in food instead of saving them all for the weekend and drinking them

Have a good day lovely Babes x

Hello brave babes

Boing! Guess who didn't drink yesterday? The more days I have after nights of not drinking, the more I realise just how much the hangovers affect my days. Physically, mentally, emotionally, productivity-wise etc... Just as someone said that nothing is made better by drinking, sometimes it seems like EVERYTHING is made worse by being hungover.

Sorry to hear some of you are having such a hard time. I'm thinking of you all and hoping that these horrible things that are sent to test us ease up a little. Or you at least find the strength to cope with them, and not crumble. I find the warmth and compassion on here so heart-warming (that sounds really soppy but you know what I mean!). The success stories are really inspiring and the people who are struggling (like me) help remind me that I need to make that extra effort myself. And hearing about other people having difficulties with anxiety, depression and other emotional stuff makes me think that maybe I'm not quite as insane as I thought. Stopping drinking doesn't automatically make you happy straight away, but I'm realising that it's an essential first step. Being happy also takes a lot of hard work and thinking and unravelling of everything (for me, anyway) but I want to reach that place of peace and serenity that others have spoken of, so I know what I have to do.

Jeez this was supposed to be a quick one...

Have good (or at least sober) days everyone.

Today I will be mostly drinking an assortment of herbal teas.

Hello Everyone, thanks for kind words. sorry to all of those having a horrible time. Despite the shit things that are happening right now, did not have a drink last night, feel in a perm state of anxiety though and drink would help to calm that, this is truely horrible. Took DS off to hospital this morning to be with gf, need to be strong for him and DS2, I am not going to let them beat me, must a solution to all this. As usual DP as much use a chocolate fireguard

Afternoon Brave Babes

WELL DONE to those who have not had a drink for a day, two day, three days or more! That's really good going!

Blossom - any news? xx

Silver - that's shit re finding out about your mum in that way. I think the only things you can do with your drinking is stop but I still don't think you are ready. I'm sorry but there is so much going on in your life right now...... I just think that you drinking is taking the edge off the pain, frustration, hurt and anger.

I know that DP hates you drinking, I know that you hate yourself too. But at the moment, there really is nothing to stop you when he's away is there?

Please, go and see someone, your dishy GP if needs must but you do need help. You need to let someone actually help you though. xx

I'm mad busy with one thing or another, posting stuff for my SIL and other family members that I won't see before Christmas. I'm actually almost done for Christmas itself, just a few bits.

Off to stay with my bestest friend in the whole wide world tomorrow for a nice night out, then a chill on Saturday and then a 5 hour journey home thanks to the trains and buses idea of 'service' on a Sunday!!!

By the way, has Saf told you today is her Birthday? No? [Hmm]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVELY LADY I hope you are enjoying your day, doing anything to celebrate? xx

Well done on not drinking last night, blossom. I'm afraid I missed what's going on with your DS, but I hope he starts feeling better soon. And that you do too.

Thanks Isinde, and glad to hear that you, MrsJH and SSM are all feeling boingy today. It's a great feeling, isn't it?

SSM, I thought that this morning as I was packing my suitcase. Usually, I'd be running around like a headless chicken trying, and failing, to get everything done. But this morning I surprised myself by camly checking everything off my list before it was time to leave the house.

Fuck. I've just had an 'ohshitohshitohshit' moment typing that and realising that this morning was the first time in years and years that I've not been hungover the day I'm due to fly somewhere. Normally, I have a mini-celebration get completely pissed the night before I go on holidays. :(

Ooh, have a lovely weekend Mouse and HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAF! :o

mouse blood clot behind the placenta, she is 32 weeks still keeping her in, poor DS is so emotional bless him, thanks for asking
thela not DS is for his gf who was rushed in a couple of days ago, poor kids

Oh god, I did see that, sorry. I hope it goes ok for her. xxx

Thanks Theala have decided that reading up on the internet can be a bad thing,