The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Devilish Demon Drink Into Touch This Hallowe'en!. Mwahahahaha!

[Mwahahahahahahahouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse, well normally! [hgrin]

Welcome to the Bus. We are a mixed bunch of Babes, some of us drink, some of us don't and some of us are trying to find out the best way to cut down or stop completely.

There is plenty of room on the Bus for everyone so, come say hi. [hsmile]

And, if you'd like to see what brought us all here, you can read all of the past threads, including the original one by JWN RIGHT HERE

Step away from Google! No good ever comes of looking up symptons.

Happy Birthday SAF

Oh, argh! One of the friends I'm meeting this weekend has just mailed to tell me she's started smoking again, after giving up about six years ago. I gave up last year. Now I'm worried that I'll be tempted to smoke a fag with her.

I know this sounds ridiculous, but I've had a wave of panic thinking I can't possibly resist the temptation to smoke and resist the temptation to drink a lot as well. Fucksocks. I'm really pissed off.

Happy Birthday Saf

Theala I know what you mean about starting the celebrations early. And then needing a 'couple' of stiff drinks on the plane to take the edge off the hangover. Then a few more to relax once you're arrived. And one for the road before you bed down for the night . . . and so it goes on.

blossom I will keep everything crossed for your DS and his GF. Please try not to worry too much. She is in the best place right now. My dd was born at 28 weeks due to problems with the placenta and she's a fine, strong, intelligent, beautiful 14 year old now x

hello

silver - us feeling naughty inside and like we're checking in makes them seem like watchful parents. they're not. go see the doc tell them what's going on and say i feel like maybe 'x' is the only thing that's worked and i should get it prescribed again. then see what they have to say. my personal experience is that 9 times out of 10 doctors agree with me and follow my lead. there are some things where only we can decide/know/lead anyway. this is probably one of them.

it is my birthday - thanks for happy's. very strange day. thai friend ended up sharing her family history/drama/etc and what brought her to this country and i ended up sharing my grief/confusion/displacement about being 36 and solo and in the situation i'm in. a bit of intimacy is good but when you're not used to it and are usually stuffing it all down and keeping it in it is also quite overwhelming. i have this weird thing whereby people feel safe with me and tell me stuff and i really AM glad of it and feel honoured and privileged but sometimes it is quite heavy going. leaves you feeling a bit.... loaded. i don't know.

have quite a nice flirtation going on currently and that's been distracting me nicely. not sure where to go from there but it would be nice to let someone in a bit.

anyway ra ra ra. boring as ever x

Did someone mention cake?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAF

Sounds like you've had a mixed day...you must be lovely in real life too if you find people confiding in you Hope you have a nice evening and sweet dreams involving the flirty person.

Blossom, thinking of you and your DS's GF. Keep us posted.

Silver, hope you are OK.

Sending positive vibes to everyone else. Wish I could say hello to everybody but I'm trying to keep busy and mustn't sit still. There is a bottle in the fridge with my name on but I am downing Irn Bru like there's no tomorrow in order to try and forget about it.

Hello friends,

Just checking in to stop myself putting a straw into a bottle!

I have had a really horrible day (week), so busy workwise, and no-one to talk to, as Dh has been out every night (wondering if the same old thing is happening, those who remember).

I have made myself some dinner, and am going to go to bed early before Dh gets back. I really can't bear him doing stuff all the time when I am trying to wind down. I do sound like a bitch rotter, but I am working so hard to keep all the finances all on track, and he doesn't want to know! I think I may have made a mistake in putting everything online, when he doesn't know (or, care to learn) how to do it!

I feel like I am drowning at the moment, and in the morning like I am on a treadmill going nowhere.

DC1 is coming home for the weekend tomorrow (yaay!), and we have things to talk to him about, but, just now all I want to do is have a jolly weekend with no angst (fat hope).

I send my love to everyone, and sorry for the selfish post.

Silver
Saf HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)
Isinde Good to see you, my friend.
Mouse as ever
Theala this won't help, but I'm just about to go into the garden .

Have a good night all, and thank you, writing this has stopped me opening the red that I got for the lamb tomorrow!

Ma not at all good here. You know where I am.
xxx

Thurso am here my friend. is DH back on meds? I spoke to DD2 on the phone today from Spain. good to hear her voice again. The rest, I understand.
haven't really been keeping up with the thread and all the trials and tribulations - I hope you can all battle through. silver be strong, I admire you tremendously even if you are a crap bus driver
blossom my debt is business related too. don't let them terrorise you. who manages your debt plan? Talk to them, keep the channels open, don't avoid any letters/phonecalls. We are 5 years into a 6 year plan. it is crippling. Even now, i got a call tonight from the school photographer to say the payment for DS school photos had failed

thurso mouse ma silver bafana noteven hello all. Still here, just not in a space to post really.

Happy Birthday saf

I may not be posting much, but I'm thinking of you all, and feeling for your difficulties and encouraging each and everyone of you with unheard applause xx

venus - ??? You okay my love? xx

Ma - I'm so glad you got to talk to DD, I bet your heart gushed! Huge love to you xx

thurso - Have PMd you, missed you! xx

Right, I'm shutting this down for the night, DH is doing his very best 'tired' face at me. Because of me? Who knows! Super grumpy tonight. Oh well, I'm sure my weekend away will do HIM the power of good!

Night night Brave Babes xx

blossom - please send my love to DS and his GF. That is such a scary position to be in but the baby is now 'viable' should they need to get the little one out fast. Is she on steroids do you know?

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Much love to you xx

Oh, I'll be back in the morning if anyone fancies grilled pig? And a huge mug of tea?

Night xx

Ma how bloody dare you - I am the best driver in the world you know

DM got an infection in her bladder - how ironic - everyone else saying chill about it - me -TAKE HER FEKING TEMP EVERY HOUR FFS.

I can't be at her house cos DD full of cold. My brother there for the night and army medic trained, but he drives her insane

Yes the same one that was banged up in Spain for four years...........

Called the hospital (Christie so the best you can get) and they've said it should be OK.

But here is the really important part..............

I'm too over the limit to drive if i needed to............

How shit is that..............

going to bed and hoping I won't get a call in the night

Love to all babes new and old

I think this is my wake-up call

but I also think Mouse is right - I just don't want to stop

Gah - bed xxxxxxxx

silver you and me both

Morning lovely Babes, and Mif,

Very sorry for the self-pitying post last night. I was so tired, and still had the ironing to do, and rather came on here and let it all out. I am ashamed this morning, as I have nothing to moan about in comparison to others, who are going through much harder times. I apologise.

I haven't been posting much for that reason, I don't feel that I have anything wise or helpful to offer anyone, as I am struggling through, day to day a bit at the moment, trying to walk the walk!, it doesn't always work, but better than this time last year. Actually, a million times better than last year, so perhaps I'll hang on to that.

Thank you so much Babes, I think I will come and post even if I talk drivel, it makes me feel so much better (sorry, me again).

Sending love and strength to all of you, especially those of you going through very hard times.

Big hugs

T xxxx

Morning all,
thurso so what if you were being self-pitying - you let it out, realised what you were doing, and didn't drink on it - what makes you think you aren't helping by doing that? You were not all that transparent on a lot of the things you said which I am sure is to protect your anonymity by not blurting everything out to the internet at large but what I got from you is that just putting one foot in front of the other is hard. I'm quite good at crises - it's everyday life that I don't really know how to handle, so I have always made a drama out of everything, for attention, for the adrenaline rush and then latterly so I could drink on it. This plodding along is what I need to learn.

How are our other new ladies? Dotv how are you doing? Theala have a great holiday and try not to project - if situations are dangerous, remember to ask if you really need to put yourself in that situation.

Busy day today, am going to see my sponsor in a local pantomime later and can't wait!

thurso shut yer gob!
You are helpful just by being there. Had any good sex lately ?

Hello everyone, as always thanks for your lovely post last night, shamed to say could not resist the temptation last, , I am constantly feeling a underlying panic it softens it. DP also being a complete prat, acting very strangely, was incoherent again last night but had not appeared to have drank much??? Also keep dissappearing to the toilet??

Looks like going to keep DS gf in as things have not improved, as you say she is in the best place right now.
ma that's interesting about your being a business dent, my current DMC said they can not touch a business related debt, so perhaps time to change. matbe you could reccomend someone. I am sorry to hear you are still struggling still
thurso sorry to hear you had a shit week, maybe weekend will be better

ma Debt not Dent, though might have been right the first time

Morning everyone.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh double oh dear. Delete everything I wrote in my last post. After 5 days of not drinking, OH and I went out to a local pub for a drink and a meal. I had 2 glasses of bat's blood (red wine) but what tipped me over was the bottle of champagne OH opened when we got in. I don't remember much of last night, I know I was shouting, I know I said I wanted to leave, I think I phoned my sister (not a good idea, she hates me drinking). I woke up with a sore stomach, went to the bathroom and I have obviously cut myself with a knife - NO memory of that at all . Way too embarrassed to tell the counsellor on Tuesday. BUT I will start again. Staying with my parents tonight, seeing one daughter on Sat and a friend on Sun. My birthday is next Sunday and I want to be totally sober and allow myself a present. Sober life is not fun, the coffee isn't that aromatic but I will do this.

mouse I would join you in pig sandwich but selfish dp ate 6 peices of bacon last night, so none left for me today . DS, gf having a scan now, fingers crossed

Hi Brave Babes, can I crawl back onto the bus? Basically, since I was last here, I abstained for most of May. In June, I started off not drinking 5 days a week which slipped to 4 which slipped to 3.... And then it was the summer holidays so i thought "It's ok to drink, it's the holidays" i have been managing to generally do 2 days a week but last night, i have no recollection of going to bed, DH apparently told me in front of the kids that, if this happens again, he'll throw me out. The first thing my DD said this morning was "Mummy, why did you fall over?"
I hate myself so much. I think my body is telling me that it can't handle this anymore. Whenever i drink, more often that not I black out which I hate, even if I don't do anything awful.
The practical difficulties are that DH drinks every night despite constantly promising to have a week off so there's always a bottle of drink in the house. I also live 2 doors down from an off licence which doesn't help either.
Anyway, I went to my GP today who was lovely and has given me some Antabuse so, once I've taken it I can't drink without being horribly ill. I just don't see any other way of me being able to do it. I told the doc that it felt like cheating but he told me that you've still got to make the decision each day to take the pill.
I just so want my self respect back.
I absolutely can't do links (total technophobe) but there's a brilliant website I stumbled across called Bright eyes alcohol forum - if you google it, you should find it. There's loads of support on there and different threads - there's one called the first 7 days so everyone on there is at a similar stage to you. There's an SOS thread where someone is scared they are going to drink and people try to talk them out of it minute by minute.
I will try and stay longer this time and TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING..

atosilis start again, today is another day. 'Twas never going to be easy, but keep on keeping on. Are you ok?
blossom I am with payplan. They have been wonderful and probably saved my life.

Good afternoon Babes and Mif

Welcome back upsylazy sorry that you are feeling rough today, I have no experience of any meds for drinking, but, I think others have, who will be along soon.

Thanks for your kind messages re: my drone!!

Noteven Yup I can always cope and be strong and capable in a crisis, and do wonder whether I have manafactured them in the past. It is the plodding grind at the moment that I am finding difficult. however I do realise how very lucky I am not to have crises in my life just now, and am very grateful.

Ma Mmmm, lots of lovely, languorous, inspired and inspiring, uplifting, life enhancing sex.........I wish . So glad that DD is doing ok, DC1 is coming home for the weekend, first time since he moved to the city, am so excited, little bit anxious that everything should go right (recipe for it not doing so? (I so hope not!)).

I feel much brighter this afternoon, one big college project that I was really worried about, and has been keeping me awake at night, came back this morning with a pass. Funnily I feel much more ready to cope with all the other work stuff now that I have had that little pat.

It also helped (big truth here, bit embarrassed to say, but anyhoo) that I made myself a list when I got in yesterday, and when I went into a room away from my desk, tears pouring down my face, thinking "I just can't do all of this" I actually said out loud (no-one else in) "well, crying's not going to do any good, get the first one done, and tick it off, then do the next one", the stern talking to worked for a bit, and I did get a lot done, only to fall in self-pitying mode later on! It has helped me out with today, though.

Right, enough old waffley waffle from me, off to get the slow cooked lamb ready, DC2's fave (and there's me just deciding to follow Hugh's veg book to the letter!!)

Have good afternoons all.
xxxxx

Nope, DC1's fave, good job as it's him that's coming home

Sorry atosilis missed your post. I hope your tummy is ok, and that it was a very minor scratch. Hope you're feeling better now.

at Thurso. Yup, DH home ALL weekend.