The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Devilish Demon Drink Into Touch This Hallowe'en!. Mwahahahaha!

[Mwahahahahahahahouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse, well normally! [hgrin]

Welcome to the Bus. We are a mixed bunch of Babes, some of us drink, some of us don't and some of us are trying to find out the best way to cut down or stop completely.

There is plenty of room on the Bus for everyone so, come say hi. [hsmile]

And, if you'd like to see what brought us all here, you can read all of the past threads, including the original one by JWN RIGHT HERE

you aint wrong venus! i was ASTONISHED at the amount of tasteless, unimaginative crapola that is avaliable! AND THE PRICES horror!!!!! seriously, given that i have had three weddings even i was shocked at the conspicuous consumption and how very 'secondry' the meaning of the the actual marriage is - on a lighter note, for some reason i took dh his only input (he spent most of the trip shuffling behind me with a face like a slapped arse, interpersed with cries of 'how much?' ) was to say that he liked the idea of having a minstrel nitwit!

Hmmmmm, minstrels

ohhh!! i spelt it wrong didnt i?

Good evening all,

Bless you Noteven, for thinking about me.But, actually I spend the whole week with other peoples children, and it's mine that I miss. I love my job, but, it hasn't made the change any easier.

In every setting I see the ether of earier day's, and what I could have done better, or could have changed.

However.... I went swimming at 8am, worked until 6.30, and Dh came home early.. only to say, "I bet you were glad that I didn't bring my work friends in for a cup of tea? you don't normally wear those boots with those trousers?"

So, going out to get my college assignments, I changed, but, am so angry about it, or perhaps just sad.

Complete deflation, after I thought I had a productive day, and got over myself

DH is very lovely, usually, but, doesn't seem to know me at all?

Ma I think you know what I mean!

yes fairly isolated i guess - probably more so because i don't drive and health stuff shrunk my world considerably a few years back. you certainly wouldn't meet potential boyfriends or lovers around these parts unless you were truly desperate!

when i say loneliness i'm not sure entirely what i mean. i enjoy being alone and it would be very rare for me to think/feel that i was lonely. might be more to do with feeling disconnected and 'different' to what is around me. i dunno. i'm lucky to have met lots of people i like and connect with in my life but i've done it whilst moving around a lot and having very different stages and phases of life so inevitably everyone is spread out far and wide. and realistically i'm not going to meet people i have a lot in common with round here.

it's very good for ds though.

sorry for that big ramble in answer to a question.

thurso - i've no clue because i haven't been where you're at but i'm guessing you might both need to 'get to know each other' again now and that you will be changing again.

Nighty night babes - off to watch some of the thousands of hours of TV we have stored before it gets deleted.

Back tomorrow after various hospital visits and DD gets her first set of braces. xx

Oooh guess what?

I didn't even think about alcohol at all until 6pm this evening and that was only because I was thinking about you lot!!

That's so out of the ordinary for me, I usually start fancying a glass on the way home from work (about 4pm ) and just have to distract myself instead. But today, it didn't even cross my mind. Must be progress .

Saf I know what you mean about trying to figure out your drinking. I was doing really well just drinking weekends. Then I decided to cut back even more and haven't drunk for 15 days now. I am going away for a few days next Monday so I will probably drink then and when I get back I will stop again. The diet is helping me to stay off it tbh.

The only thing that makes me think it might still be a problem is that I have yet to go for a long period of time without drinking. If I said I'm not going to drink between now and Christmas, I don't think I could do it. So I still have a problem with it. But we all have to figure out what works for us.

My worst triggers are when I'm tired and have had a hard day at work. Especially Fridays because I'm usually knackered by then .

Isinde so glad to hear from you. You do sound really ill you poor thing. Keep warm and get as much rest as you can.

Hi to everyone else x

checking in Babes - just home from work - wet, tired and looking like I've gone ten rounds with a hedge - but - if any of you remember my post about mineral make-up - it has stayed on with very very little touching up from 8.30am to now.

Hello to all of you

No time to read back - neeeeeeeeeeeed to sleeeeeeeeeeeep xx zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thurso Ma Mouse Isindie JWN ((((((((((((((())))))))))))) x

mouse get in paracetamol and hot water bottle for DD - she might have a mighty face ache tomorrow
thurso yes I know.
things getting very bad here.

Venus

Gotta go to bed - this thread feels very positive at the moment

Sweet dreams campers xx

thurso sorry if I was insensitive, of course other people's children aren't the same. I think you've done an amazing job with your boys.

Silver how's your mum, and how are you?? It sounds busy with you!

jwn I have never been to such a thing, I hope I never do!! Poor DP! My sister had bulbs as favours - new life - it was great. My sister has style though, on a budget or otherwise, whatever else I might think of her, it was always going to be just a stunning wedding.

We have to take bikes to school today, then in November it's "ditch the stabilisers" - I'm sure I was 6 or so, competitive, much? And, as for loneliness, it takes so long to make real friends but I do have a couple of friends amongst school mums now and plenty to say hello to. I'm not very good at this stuff I don't think. I wonder if I should stick to be the busy full time working mum like I had modelled to me by my mum, not really all that interested, but I want to break that cycle, and I don't know how. I had someone I find amazingly competent tell me I should start a cake baking business - maybe I should! but... so much duty and insecurity, and I trained for a reason... sorry for the rant. Off to check tyres, etc [hsmile] love to all x

noteven I really think you should find out where you could sell a few cakes if you baked them. Look for little deli's in your nearby towns. These baking businesses started at home can grow huge. There's a range in Co-op called Emma's Country Kitchen (check it out) which looks like it started small and has gown into mass produced cakes. You can decide how big you want to go but first of all do a little research. I think you could do really well.

Right have lovely days one and all. See you later x

Oh, I was 7 when I learned to ride my bike but both my dcs learned when they were 5.

Morning, there is a nice autumnal chill on the bus this morning.

Quick post as I am behind work already . All this talk of bikes is making me want to run through leaves again. (I remember learning to ride my bike on stabilisers in the lounge until mum persuaded me to go outside - always a scaredy cat).

saf I understand the disconnect feeling - do you think that might be a bit of being depressed? I get that most when I am depressed.

I find that the people I mix with now are (mostly) not friends in the way I had years ago - we have common interests, mainly children, and we get on pretty well but not many of them really 'get' me. I also feel that they know the 'mummy' side of me (I think I am considered to be sensible amongst friends) and it sometimes irks me that they've never me the other me.

noteven our village shop sells (very obviously) home made cakes. They look very yummy in a lovely uneven, imperfect sort of way. Or can you advertise on facebook. I know that if someone near me made cakes to order I'd probably put in a weekly order .

I've nearly finished all the shortbread. Just left one for DD. I figure there are still many weeks till my holiday when I have to wear a swimming costume. I have revised my aim of getting back in my pre-DD bikinis and am on the look out for a stylish yet holding it all in (and pushing it up) swimming costume - any thoughts?

noteven we can get into a particular career track because of all kinds of pressures, from our families, from society, and of course from ourselves... All very valid, but my personal view is that ultimately we thrive best when we are doing something that we really love, something that satisfies us deeply. Of course there is a balance between that and earning an income, and the things that satisfy us include using out intellectual abilites, being rewarded for what we do, being creative.

Starting up a business is tough but rewarding. I've worked with several people changing careers to set up their own business. pm me if you want to chat about it.

msgee bravissimo do swimming costumes that would probably fill that criteria.

i suffer with depression long term unfortunately - lifestyle and meds make it far more manageable but it rarely totally goes away for long. had problems with ME and depression start in my teens and off and on ever since. it got intensely bad about 5 years ago which took me out of teaching as the stress and pace was probably what triggered it all and then i fell pregnant with ds whilst re-training to be a counsellor.

i sound a complete mess i realise so in answer to your question yes the depression is probably kicking off a bit, this time of year can be a trigger anyway but it's not bad, i'm doing ok. the disconnect is probably because of the reality that getting very ill did disconnect me from my life and work and social circles and stuff. it is true that my life is quite isolated now.

hmm. lots of personal info there

i wish i could think of a business to start. i can't imagine where and how i'd fit back into the working world and what works for my health and sanity doesn't seem very compatible with working for someone. would love to be able to earn money independently.

saf

(important things first): do bravissimo do swimming costumes for women without boobs?

We seem to have much in common, at uni i had post-viral fatigue, which became ME, which was intertwined with depression. Then depression on and off for some time afterwards. At the worst I had an extreme disconnect, not recognising things around me or the town I lived in. I know I also retreat and disconnect socially and emotionally when I am feeling depressed.

So you don't sound a mess to me. You sound like you have fought through something very difficult and have a strong awareness of what you need and what affects you.

Re work. Can you continue with counselling training now that DS is in school? Tutoring? Sorry, probably not useful. I know that going freelance was the best decision I made.

it does sound similar. my ME developed after having glandular fever that really did a number on me. i'm ok in the size world i can operate in itms but stretch that or try and make me fit in a different world and it all goes to pot. sounds pathetic i know. hate talking about my health because i feel embarrassed - it sounds so lame you know? stigma of invisible disabilities i guess.

the counselling to continue would cost a fortune - the bacp regulation has meant the costs of training have rocketed without the education actually being much cop. so i did HE cert but already have other PG qualifications. they'd make me do the post grad cert in order to have accreditation but i'd learn nothing new really just prove that i can operate at PG level which i've already done in other subjects - make sense? so i'd have to shell out 6k to do a frankly shit course with really narrow coverage of disciplines and approaches just to jump through a money grabbing monopoly- professional hoop.

and then to be honest there is such a dirge of counsellors out there advertising trying to get clients and not that many people who can afford to pay them realistically. so big investment and probably lower return than working stacking shelves.

sorry this is all very off topic.

i think i mean dirth not dirge but even dirth appears not to be a real word

Saf do not feel lame.

This is very odd - my illness started after (undiagnosed and un dealt with) glandular fever too. At the time I remember working full time, plus a bar job and studying to prepare for my MA - and thinking that I simply did not have time to be ill and pushing through it. A few months later my system simply shut down.

I agree on the operating in a small world. Going beyond the limits of my small town is a major sress for me. I have to go to London tmrw and DH is having to work at home so that I don't have the anxiety of not being able to get home to DD (although I will still be worried all day but at a manageable level). I haven't been out with DH in the evening in a year and am generally anxious about everything, particularly DD. I constantly have an overwhelming sense of something awful and traumatic being just about to happen to me.

So I guess I am saying I get where you are coming from. and you are not lame.

I understand what you mean about counselling (dearth?). Could you do something which uses those skills in a less formal setting (Support Worker in some capacity) - although I know that all jobs have so many applicants at the moment so moving into a new area is difficult. (( ))

dearth! thank you! i knew there was a word in there somewhere

sorry to hear about the anxiety. i go through patches of it and then out again. it's a bit of a drinking trigger for me because alcohol in the short term helps calm my system down when i'm going through an anxious patch and exhausted from it.

same here in terms of not resting with the glandular fever - i was still at school and my mum didn't believe in illness unless she could see you bleeding or something so i just got shouted at for being lazy and trying to wag school and pushed onwards basically. i don't think even i realised that i was genuinely really ill but it totally wrecked my health. i'd been really sporty and active and that just disappeared. weirdly a lot of my health problems and the way they came out at that time got misinterpreted as behaviour problems because no one realised i was really ill. bizarre. my parents knew i had glandular fever but equated me not wanting to get out of bed in the morning with having an attitude problem and being lazy/selfish/etc rather than the obvious she's ill you twats!