potential date big into S&M, I'm not, would it bother you?

[msshapelybottom]

Been chatting, speaking on the phone and texting a guy from POF this week, getting on like a house on fire, supposed to be meeting next week. The conversation turned to fantasies and he said he is into S&M, not just a bit of light bondage, the whole shebang.

I am not into this at all, in fact the idea of it turns me right off and really feel there's no point even meeting if we are already going to be out of synch sexually speaking. In all honesty, I'm no prude, but I feel kinda funny about him now I know this.

Am I being daft letting this stop me from meeting him? He's gobsmacked that it would bother me.

If someone is into S&M and role play, can they still enjoy "vanilla" sex with someone? It's a genuine question BTW, I'd really like to know!

Thoughts please?

... And kind of useful.

< speechless >

I am still snorting at "vanilla"...

"Vanilla" may be the way people who like their penises to be stomped on, their faces to be pissed on and their bodies to hang off chains in order to get off, like to call the rest of humanity. Because it makes them feel better, alternative, liberal and much more cool.

For the rest of humanity, it is called "normal", and the aforementioned people are called "freaks".

Online dating is fun if you are in the right kind of mentality. It can actually be hilarious, can give you thousands of great stories to tell your friends, and can leave you feeling better about yourself, and happier to be either alone or in company without feeling the "need" to find a mate. In a small number of cases, you can make friends for life, or even - yes, sometimes it happens - find the man (or woman) of your life.

Online dating can be disastrous for your self-esteem if you go into it from a bad place, feeling insecure, or if you are a people-pleaser. There are lots of predators who go to online-dating places looking for "victims". Controlling, abusive, plain weird, emotional vampires... online dating is the perfect place for them, because it allows them to "groom" the victim without being seen, enabling them to hide from the victim's instincts, which only work in real life. If you are this kind of person (I mean insecure, or in a bad place), I recommend you to stay away and keep to meeting people in real life. Join a book club, a martial arts group, a sport team, a hiking group, a language class... whatever. But leave online dating well alone.

saf, that would be me

I would be like (in response to a sad ole profile) "did you mean to come across as such a sad fuck ?"

it's probably better I stay married

Oh AF, thank fuck you were here to point out the bleeding ooovious! Tea or no tea! (oh alright then, AND tethers)

Who on EARTH would talk about S&M with someone they had not met? seriously?

OK so I realise that I have Man-Anti-Gravity set to maximum at the moment with a side order of hefty naily stick just in case one approaches, but WTF? Anyone bringing sex up before I even met them would be awwwfffuulllyy presumptuous!

Put me down for some o' them cats would ya MsShapely?

< waves to Hisso >

It's tethers AND AF, actually.

(Let me have this, just this once)

you can have it, teth

you can't say I am not generous to a fault

< polishes the flowerpot within an inch of it's life >

polishing flowerpots? now THAT'S gotta be a euphemism?!

Anyfucker...i would like you in RL !!!

aurynne - not at all in a bad place or insecure any more. I can see how much damage I could do to my self esteem if I were whilst online dating though...

Never doing online dating again. Am so very happy to be single right now!

Is it just me who finds it a bit that anybody would discuss their sexual fantasies with someone they've not even met yet?

Maybe I'm just too old and married - sorry

BTF, join us in the flowerpot lurve

ice, thanks, nice thing to say

OMG the very thought of it gives me creeps. Whats wrong with normal loving sex?

beak funnily enough I am not averse to a bit of the light kinky stuff (esp if it involves flower pots) but I like to see the colour of their eyes first...

and check whether they are an actual prick before dropping my knicks

I have to say, I don't find anything wrong with S&M and certainly don't think of those who like it as 'freaks'.

I just think discussing any sexual preferences should wait until at least the cheese course.

Oh god AF, we are on fire tonight.

Although you won that one.

I don't see the problem with stuff that isn't mainstream as long as you discuss it first and are happy with it. It's just playing and messing about although I would draw the line at pain and gimp masks...reminds me toouch of pulp fiction...

were you otherwise engaged with your cheese course, teth ?

anyfucker that's how i was in the end - did you mean to come across as an arrogant cock with literacy problems in your message? did you realise you used the word "I" 56 times in a 2 paragraph email?

and tethers can't have it because i had it first! what am i? chopped liver?