advice needed desperately regarding social services

[wannabestressfree]

I am desperate for some advice and wondered if anyone could help......

I have three sons. 14,10 and 7. My oldest is aspergers and ADHD, self harms daily and has had two stays in mental hospitals. On sunday he attacked me with a knife in front of my middle son. He didn't hurt me but obviously it was very scarey. He then absconded {he does this a lot} and eventually the police took him to hospital.

A house officer phoned me in the morning and said he would be requiring inpatient treatment but he is medicating at the moment [he is on a childrens ward} and so they have reversed the decision and say he is fit to return home. He self harms daily and his special education school has told social services they are refusing to have him back. I work full time as a teacher.

I told social services I wouldn't have him in the house......... this is after years of asking for help and they have phoned today and said they will give me respite for a week by placing him in foster care in our old home town. I cannot believe they would do this as this is where he absconds too and drinks and was basically told 'tough'......... no other foster carers would take him due to his mental condition. The social worker insisted I tell my school they were dealing with us {head was super supportive} and said they would be looking at the other children. I am so upset as I just want some help.

He will stop taking his medication when he comes home, attack the other children and roams in and out of the house. We are all exhausted.

So advice please............ do I take him back tomorrow or allow him into foster care that I know is not the right place. I honestly feel like they are emotionally blackmailing me..................

...and now with the link

www.rcpsych.ac.uk/quality/qualityandaccreditation/childandadolescent/inpatientcamhsqnic/camhsdirectory.aspx

Tier 4

was just coming on to post similar to wtaugust but with far less, insight and practical knowledge. your post is very informative and supportive wetaugust, I just hope it is of benifit to you wannabe.

good luck x

Thank you wetaugust for the advice that's brilliant. I will ask them tomorrow to look into them. He came from a private hospital [the Alpha in Woking] so I know its not impossible.

Have found one in Orpington and have rung them - they have room. Have emailed unit and social services and will instruct solicitor tomorrow. I think its worth a try. Thank you all for your help x

Excellent news.

Again, it's the parent who has to take charge and sort it out. It shoudln't be like this.

Hope he manages to obtain a place. Fingers crossed.

hope you get the place for ds x

I do think your ds is in the wrong placement but understand there is zero around for kids your son's age (pre adult)!
Section 3 another Psychiatrist has to sign with Consultant but not like a new Section 3...just renewing the 6 months...that will be up now...are you going to appeal for better placement?
I would contact Secretary of State who has ownership over 'secure placements' and say exactly what Maryz said about ds with group not suitible and ds not even on forensic section...I would ask SW to find ds a suitible plaement or look yourself...ask MIND to help?

A private hospital with more staff sounds better...you don't get told of these places as they cost ££££'s every week...but if ds needs it you have to fight for it!

I wish you lots of strength through this horrendous stressful time and with the right environment and support I think your ds will come through this. He has held in their so far through a nuclear war zone....he is actualy making good improvements by what you say!

sorry that should be Home Office not secretary of state doh!

I spoke to his consultant yesterday and she was very supportive. My wish for him to go to hospital in Kent has gone to commissioners and she has approached the bed manager and other services.

The problem is he does need the security of a medium secure and it works for him. These sadly are few and far between. I just want them to look at other options before they send him halfway up the country. And I want to be listened to.

Its likely he will remain in medium secure until tripartate funding is agreed and he goes to a 52 week placement. He just doesn't cope at all in the open ward setting. He has tried it three times and they have all been a disaster.

so is your ds coming back when the unit is 'secure'staff have had bollockings

• staff have had bollockings

they should open up a ward for ds on his own tbh because of
age
level of need
no where else to go
costs less that medium secure placement which is inapporopriate (he may learn lots of unwanted behaviours etc)

have you thought of a residential school with psychiatric input

He will go to school with psychiatric input when funding is agreed and he is 'signed off' by the unit.
No he won't be returning, they haven't said that but I think it will be a while before they open it again.
Medium secure is appropriate due to level of need its the forensic bit I struggle with. By nature they are heavy with children from prison BUT he does need it. Its very contained [ well supposed to be] and he has........... set fires, attacked me with a knife, been very violent in low secure. He thrives locked down as much as he moans about it....... I worry what will become of him as an adult

Its likely he will remain in medium secure until tripartate funding is agreed and he goes to a 52 week placement.

Yes, that's what happened to DS too.

Tri-partite funding needs the agreement of Education Service, SS and NHS.

The will need to hold a multi-disciplinary meeting to agree and then need to start looking for a suitable placement. This could take months.

I agree, forensic secure unit is just providing examples of poor/crimminal behaviour for him to imitate.

I think you'll need to drive this multi-disciplinary meeting forward. To those involved he's just 'another case' that they'll get round to - to you he's your DS and quite rightly you want it sorted.

I know it's all down to money at end of day Wet they all end fighting who is going to pay and who isn't!

Wet did you manage to get a good residential hospital school for your ds?

Sorry to be off topic. Can I ask as ADHD I don't know much about....if child has AS and ADHD if you give them ritalin etc does it make them worse? I mean the AS??

My fear is that you may be presented with a fait accompli with regard to your ds bein moved out of the county and will have to fight a rearguard action to have him returned to a unit/hospital ward within easy travelling distance of your home.

How many other residents are currently in the unit? Have you been told the date of its closure or the date that they intend to move your ds?

Have you spoken to your ds's solcitior?

You mentioned that the police had been to see your ds because he was the victim of an incident that occurred when he awol. Have you been informed by the police and/or the unit what took place?

Although he is on a section, it is my understanding that your ds should not have been interviewed by the police without you, as his nearest releative, or his solicitor, being present.

In this instance it would seem that the mental wellbeing and stability of your ds and, by default that of yourself and your family, has been adversely affected because the unit to which he was so recently moved, and in which it was intended he would spend the foreseeable future, is not fit for purpose.

Whether that is because of structural issues that were overlooked when it was built or negligence on the part of its staff is, as yet, unknown to you and I hope you'll persist in obtaining answers to the list of questions that is growing longer by the minute.

My Ds is one of the two boys still left there. The others have been moved already. As soon as somewhere is agreed he will go, I am going to phone the consultant when I finish work. If he goes to Birmingham he could go as early as to tomorrow but he is moving quick. I know the place I suggested has gone to the Mental Health Commissioners. I am waiting for the hospital to inform me of what happens net.

Yes he was interviewed and no I wasn't informed of the outcome. I have spoken to another solicitor this morning in London with regard to what's happened and I am waiting to see if they will represent us. I feel the hospital has failed in its duty of care toward my son.

I honestly can still see him going but I am and have lodged my complaints about it. He is not going without a fight. I hate that everything boils down to money........ The crux of it is yes I do understand he has considerable mental health problems but we are a supportive family who have regular contact so that he can eventually be rehabilitated and not feel an 'outsider' as I imagine his condition already does. All I can do is register my dismay and present with alternatives, I have very little say as he is under a civil section.

On the up side I have found out there is some family accomodation at the other unit.

He goes to Birmingham this morning............

Thanks Maryz I have spoken to a solicitor and am waiting for a response.

The consultant has said she would like to come down and discuss 'what went wrong with his care'. I get the impression that they realise that there has been a quite serious balls up.

The only time I got upset yesterday was when they mentioned his transport.... a padded van basically..... and I said to her ' that's my baby you are talking about and please treat him with some dignity'. Of all the things it really upset me....

He was quite upbeat and chatting last night and just desperate to go. The aspy part of him hates all the uncertainty. The new doctor has called me [I was teaching] but I said I would call him later.

Thanks again for all your support.

Are they going to let you speak to him when he gets there?

I really need to vent..................
After all I said they handcuffed him in a van all the way to Birmingham, took him to the wrong hospital and walked him about like that, made him urinate like that.......

I am incandescent with rage........

I have spoken to him though and the new doctor. Why can't they get anything right? He is not a criminal, he is 14.

Oh my God wannabe that's beyond awful. I'm so sorry.