What should I do?

[babypusher7]

Im posting on here because Im at a place I dont want to be and need some advice

My oh making me so unhappy,I just dont feel anything anymore,he checks my phone all the time,he puts me down in front of people,takes money from me,things are really bad and getting worse latley,the thing is Im pregnant and I told him he went nuts,he kickes off at the little things a cupple of weeks ago I left the light on and he really kicked off big time,I rang the police but they let him go the next morning so he took it out on me.

I sometimes feel like most of its my fault and if I could try harder to please him it wouldnt happen,but the more I try the worse he gets

can anyone offer advice on what to do ? x

if you go to a women's aid refuge he won't be able to find you. you can start to build yourself up again, piece by piece. please believe that this is possible. allow yourself to believe.

none of this is your fault. there is nothing you can do to get him to treat you well. he is choosing to do these awful things to you. he cannot and will not change.

keep posting x

Love, trust me. with regard to getting things right, I KNOW I'm right.

Please, get your stuff together and get out, get WA to pick you up, or go down to the police station yourself.

Is there any chance you may have forensic evidence to back up a rape claim, does anyone know if she would need it?

This really IS a police matter, you have been assaulted. We had another poster on here call the police on her OH the other day, and you if anything need to call them even more, as you are PG and have been raped.

CAll WA, they will listen to you. The Police DV team will listen to you. We are listening to you aren't we?

You need to leave today. really you do.

Please, please get out of there and into a refuge. I know it's hard, I know it seems impossible, I know how it feels to be isolated, alone and hurt to the core. But this 'man' does not have any right to do this, no matter what his public face is. If you can't do it for you, do it for your baby. He won't change, but your life can, you can be happy and relaxed again in time.

Please leave. Now. This situation will not get better.

Im going to try and go out to a
phone box ,if he finds out,Ill let you know what they say x

Good luck, I'll be thinking of you

Well hes back

There will be another opportunity

Oh this is so worrying :(

I wish we could all come round and collect you!

The trouble is you just cannot get through to WA when you want to. It took me about seven attempts so would it not be best to go straight to the police and tell them everything?

Just go as soon as you can.

sorry thought he was coming down stairs, hes back think hes been drinking thats fine for now,hell sleep,it will be later,I hope its not like last night fingers crossed x

Carnt go now I have got no chance will try tommorow x

Im going to ring from my phone x

Alternatively, collect up all your essentials - passport, birth certificate, car documents, driving licence - and walk into your local police station?

PLEASE, get your documents, as much cash as you can get your hands on or a card that can and go to the police. You may always be allowed to go back - with an escort - and collect more things.

Please, please, please call WA, and consider getting out today.

what happens tonight? he's been drinking, that can never be good.

Its hopeless, I carnt get through,you were right, its always just coming up with a message.

Im trying to get through to them now Ill keep trying x

have you tried the www.skycomuk.com/0800wizard.php app? it'll get you through on a landline number, it may bypass the message?

keep trying, don't stop calling until you get through. it is that important.

YOU are that important.!

well done chick, you can do this! we are ALL here cheering for you!

Please just leave now, for your babys sake, for your sake. Once the baby comes it will be far far far worse than it is now and he will no doubt be on the birth certificate, DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN please.

Look after yourself, go to police, they will help you they take a dim view of DV these days.

Your life and that of the unborn child inside you is precious xxxx

OP if you can't phone, what about when you go to your next antenatal?

Book an extra one if needs be for early in the week - tell your MW/GP what you've told us and they will be able to help you get in touch with WA etc from there - take a full bag of essentials with you to the appointment. Take this thread with you too if you can.

Is WA not a bit like childline in the not-showing-up thing though? I always thought it was.

babypusher, you can do this.

You have your whole, lovely life ahead of you with your wonderful child. You have the power RIGHT NOW to put some essential things in a bag, open the door, walk out, go to the nearest police station and ask for directions to the nearest refuge. And you need never see him again.

You may not feel up to doing that right now, you may feel that it's an impossible thing to do - but it's not, it's possible, and you WILL get up the strength to do it. The strength is building up and up in you, even if you don't feel it. You're posting on a forum looking for support to do it. You're trying to get through to support networks. You're on the way out, lady!! You ARE!

You know that you need to leave this situation for your baby's sake as well as your own. So, plans:

Leave now with some things in a bag, as suggested above. It sounds as if you are at risk from DV tonight, with him being drunk. I would urge you to go, simply because every encounter is a risk for your baby. He's pushing you down the stairs - it could be fatal. So please, please, think about that simple task of putting the essentials in a bag (documents - bank stuff, passport, photos, change of clothes, toiletries) and just leaving. You could be safe in a refuge in an hour.

If you really can't leave tonight:

• Appointment with MW asap - tomorrow. You could ring once he's out of the house, say it's an emergency and get seen at either GPs or hospital - once there, tell them about the violence. You will be safe from that moment on. Take a bag with essentials to the appointment. Or - just leave with bag and go to the hospital! You WILL be seen and helped if you turn up.

You say his working hours are unpredictable - all you need to do is make sure you can pack a bag within 10 minutes and get out once he leaves for a job. You'll have time to get to a police station or a doctors surgery and ask at reception for help finding a refuge.

Or - best of all - go now. Pack that bag and go NOW while he is asleep.

I am so worried for you :(

All the other posters are right: you need to get out as soon as you can. Put the essentials into a bag and go to the nearest police station, you could speak to WA from there.

You must be absolutely terrified :( but please know that as soon as you step out of the door and ask for help you will be helped x

didnt go tonight,wa is busy all the time,its not going good tonight x

If he hits you, call 999. He is not allowed to do that it is illegal and there are forces in place to make him see that.

If he forces you to take part in any sexual act against your will; its rape honey - call the police

ok thankyou x

Does he forcibly lock you in the house, even when hes there?