Does the violence ever stop?

[ash6605]

I find it hard to put this into words, things aren't good right now. I had my dh arrested last night, he punched me with full force in the head. I did slap him first so totally deserve it and don't know why I rang the police, I feel bad I did now, he spent the night it the cells and is out on bail now. The violence isn't a new thing it's happened before, usually me first and then he takes it too far and hits me harder. It's wrong of both of us I know that. But I love him dearly and don't want things to be this way.
Does anyone have any experience of this and did it stop, can it be overcome?

mam Oberon said he shouldn't have punched her!!!.. you replied by telling him to 'Go and dry his eyes, and post on a site that will help him. There are places for abused men'

This was that site!

It saddens you that DV against men is on the increase, yet you have just told a male victim to fuck off!

Maybe women are fighting back? It doesn't get us anywhere obviously but we have had enough of repression. We are told we are equal but nah.... it will come

Blimey...

Well how I see it is:
I couldn't imagine ever retaliating to a slap in the face (I'd be trying to get away!), let alone delivering a full blown punch to the other person's head... totally disproportionate level of violence.

I would say that in this case the OPs partner used her agression as an excuse to really hurt her. If the OP hadn't been scared off maybe we would have heard the full storywhich may have put a different slant on things.. Maybe he has been very EA.

FWIW, if a woman had goaded a man into slapping her and she then proceeded to beat him over the head with a base ball bat (sorry trying to think of a similar level on each side.. I know its crap example) I'd be saying that she had a pretty nasty agenda too.

It may have stung a bit, maybe left a mark (probably not). The punch would have knocked her back several feet, made her not know for a while what happened to her, left large marks, swelling, sustained pain from the deep tissue impact, and bruises for weeks to come...........

Im not too sure that he is the victim he say he is. He also said that the guy was justified in his actions.

The op states that she starts it. It isnt a one off. She sounds mad tbh.

Guys, can any of you explain how this aggression and Fuck offs help the OP?

I think some posters have no intention of helping or advising the op, it's just a pissing contest to prove MN hates men or some such crappy derailing agenda.

FOR THE RECORD QUINTESENTIAL

I am not a guy

Ok. As you were then.

Lol Deuce!

I don't like the fact the OP says she totally deserved it.

mam You are being ridiculous, i agree get a fucking life, i know Oberon, you don't.. You focused on one sentence in his post, and ignored the rest of what he said, including the link to a thread he'd started.. Now he's left

Oberon has really helped a lot victims on this site, a lot of women i may add, who gives a shit that he's a bloke, hes' as much personal experience and knowledge about the subject as the rest of us!

and i'm not a bloke either..

you are very right Buzz...

jelly you sound like one! and who the hell is Deuce!

OP, im so sorry it ended in this, just read the earlier posts before the vitriol...

By mumsamilitant

Oberon, this is really not the place for you. Go and dry your eyes and post on a site that will help you. There are places for abused men. Take care and good luck

Yes, what a fabulous woman you are.

I sound like one ..Why's that then?

If that's supposed to be an insult, sorry it ain't, all i know is you've been out of order tonight - i don't give a flying fuck if you can't work out what's between my legs.

I think most of us can agree that the man was wrong to punch back.

But how often does it happen when a woman posts that her dh has used mild violence (comparable to he slapping described) that the the first reaction of other posters is to ask if she might have goaded him into it? Ever? The assumption when it is a woman is that nothing can excuse a physical attack.

Yes pissed, just went back and read the last damn paragraph which never came up before... He WAS being great... I read the first three! No wonder everyone was having a go!

Oberon, come back I'm sorry!

Jelly! SORRY!

He's gone now.. and i'm bloody worried about him, his DV worker cancelled on him earlier, and i know he won't mind me saying that

Oh god... . I was on a right roll there.

[bisuits]

and very humble apologies!

Have you his number? Bloody hell. Worried to say the least.