The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Booze In The Autumn Breeze.

[Mouseface]

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

I'm mouse and I have an abusive relationship with alcohol. I can't have just the one drink, ever.

I'm not alone here, there are Babes who are sober and have been for some time, Babes who are still drinking and trying their best to stop or cut down and then there are Babes who aren't ready to stop drinking. Yet.

So, why not come and say hi?

No judgy pants allowed on here I'm afraid, cakes and cheeses are!

And for those who want to know a bit more about the Bus, HERE is our journey so far.

Hello Newly and well done on day 2. Some of us are drinking on and off so don't feel you have to disappear at any time. I am not drinking in the week but as I'm on a major diet at the moment I'm staying off the booze as much as I can, one day at a time.

Newly - I hope that you feel better soon. xx

I'm off to bed as Nemo has finally given in. Super tired tonight.

Night night all you lovely Babes

I'll be back tomorrow xxxx

Evening

I really don't want to hijack our lovely thread tonight after yesterday and I'm on my phone so it's bloomin hard work to post anyway! Just wanted to say a massive thank you for those lending an ear yesterday. Especially those with professional and personal experience. As a result of the things I was told and after a long conversation with the education service we are getting a referral to tye Ed psychologist attached to the school AND a referral to something called a CAF panel which sounds like the same kind of thing as the children's panel, so massive thank yous to you all, you're wonderful and I will keep you updated, hopefully from the laptop so it doesn't take me 30mins to make a Post!

Welcome to Newly I had headaches for a few days newly sober too. Make sure you drink plenty of fluids x

MsGee You did not fail your baby in any way and I hope you are starting to realise that. Thank you for sharing your letter and your heart with us. Hope you are OK.

Hi Silver

Sounds like you have some help in place Scoundrel, hope it goes OK.

I haven't drunk much tonight but am feeling crap and weepy. Sick of working, sick of doing it all at home and sick of wanting things to work so much with DP that I let him treat me like shit again. When will I bloody learn

msgee, msgee, how beautiful you are.

day 3 done and dusted. bit of unpleasant stuff going on today and unpleasantries to come tomorrow no doubt but i will face them without a hangover.

good news on things moving forward scoundrel - everything crossed for you and dd.

love to all x

zany i hope you've made it to bed and wake up without a hangover - whatever there is to deal with it is easier clear headed. talk tomorrow? sorry for the sick, sick, sick place you're in (as in sick of) but it does tend to be the breeding ground for change and forward motion x

it does take a while doesn't indie? i was still feeling it yesterday after drinking on sunday night good luck today! can you avoid the way back drinking by deciding now what you'll buy yourself for the train home? coffee and chocolate? what takes your fancy?

enjoy rastamouse - ben10 here.

Morning lovelies,

Hi NL, hope you're feeling better today.

Zany I hope you are feeling better this morning too. You are too good to be treated badly. Better on your own than with someone who makes you feel so bad. Sending love.

Silver What is happening in your world? I often think of you.

Noteven I thought your post last night was very brave, and I think you are too. I hope your tea hit the spot, and sleep came. A better sort of oblivion!

Isinde GOOD LUCK . Will you hear the result today? or are they going to let you stew over the weekend? Good luck, I'll think of you at 2pm. How about buying a massive sandwich at the station just before you get on the train home, and a litre of water, get through that, and you won't feel like any gaps need filling.

Mouse, I hope you managed some proper sleep. I keep posting in short burss to people, but, I would love to know about Nemo's* nursery, and how it's going. When do you get your results?

Scoundrel Wonderful news, although I can't quite understand why they didn't do this for you and DD ages ago. Still, great news.

I am off to work now, but actually slept right through last night, only had dreams (albeit where we had left DC at uni with no food or bedclothes!), not nightmares, so feeling quite chippery this morning.

I so hope that my short notes to everyone don't sound trite or plain stick your fingers down your throat, gushy. It's hard to make it sound right over the waves!

Anyway, have good days all.
xxxxxx

Sorry about the bold Mouse !!!!
Short burss, some sort of native dress I believe .

Morning all

Well lesson learned and i will not be repeating Tuesday nights 3 glasses of wine experiment. If only I'd realised before I did it just how crap it would make me feel.

I hope you are all feeling positive today today in one way or another and if you are not,the lovely fellow passengers on this bus always have kind words of encouragment for you.

isindie good luck we all have our fingers crossed for you today

Morning.

As the rarest posting lurker I wanted to say thank you to you all!

Knowing that this thread is always here and active is a real help. I started a thread little like Jesus' over 2 years ago, got some great advice and support and am so happy and different.

Keep posting and keep it one day at a time.

hello - morning brave folks,

thank you all so much for your lovely posts from yesterday, they meant so much to me. Sorry I didn't post last night, it all knackered me out and then I had a chat with DH about the letter and how I was feeling. I can't say I am magically improved but it feels like the start of getting through it.

anyway, it might not be a suprise that I have been drinking. I am working a lot at night so only drink for an hour after working and so far this limits me to two largish glasses. I think on October 1st I am going to do 30 days of not drinking, posting morning and night (ooh, you lucky people) to re-set me.

Isinde good luck! Will be thinking of you (and we had mr tumble this morning)

Scoundrel I am so glad you are getting some support

Zany you are too lovely for this shit. Imagine it was one of us - what would you tell us to do? You know that life will be better without him than with him yes? its like the booze, we think it helps and we need it but really its just holding us back. Much love and strength.

Newly welcome

Mouse hope you got some sleep and Nemo and yourself are doing ok today. Please take care of yourself.

Just to cheer you up after my previous post ... this morning we had sock-gate. 20 mins of screaming because LittleMissGee's socks were skew wiff. Imagine the horror. Apparently it was all my fault. I was the mother rushing into nursery carrying child, two pairs of socks, shoes, bag, fleece, teddy and horrid baby doll (must share the story of horridbabydoll sometime). I was not calm personified.

xx

hi helpme - what a lovely post! Its great to hear positive stories, please feel free to de-lurk, or sit quietly on the bus. I am hoping Mouse will be along soon with some snacks.

In the meantime I have strong black coffee and peanut butter on toast. xx

Your letter is beautiful MsGee.

This is wonderful safe place for all on their different journeys.

Wishing you the very best of luck today Isindie

Feeling a bit brighter but am still determined to not drink today - Day 5 for me here!

Isinde - best of luck this afternoon (curiosity as to which organisation you're visiting is killing me though!). My personal Canary Wharf favourite is the breakfast smoothie from Crussh. And you can't go past the square pie pies for lunch (there are some vegetarian ones...)

MsGee thank you for posting your letter. Although my circumstances are a bit different it gave me a lot of food for thought, both as to the early stages of my pregnancy (which were lost to the fear factor in large part), and to my relationship with my own mother, which on reflection was quite badly damaged by (inter alia) her depression and her oft-cited grief at the fact that she couldn't risk having another child, which I somehow felt was my fault. I might try and explain that better at some later point once I've had a chance to think about it more (and how to express it in a way that doesn't seem insensitive, if that makes any sense).

wellies, I know exactly how you feel! I think for me there is in part the problem of breaking the habit of "job well done" = "deserve a nice cold glass of white wine". Which is stupid when the job well done is not drinking for a week, but it doesn't stop the thought creeping in there!

Am very proud of myself this morning, managed to push myself to run for a WHOLE HOUR! (don't think I've done that since I did PE at school). I may not be able to walk tomorrow. Just occurred to me after my usual half hour that once studying starts next week I will not be able to go for a run as often, but that if I ran for twice as long I could make up for it.

Now - off for a hot shower and to attempt to make this chocolate cake.... DS weighed all the ingredients before going to school this morning so has expectations of a result (and an afternoon involving green icing...)

MOrning

Feeling knackered and drained today. Still weepy.

Best of luck this afternoon Isindie I like the latte projection.

MsGee can you add banana to my peanut butter on toast. My DD was like that when she was wearing tights (and still is), the seam had to be in the exact place.

Helpme Feel free to lurk or post

BOING!!!!

morning all! come on mouse, i fancy a danish pastry, got any?

msgee - your letter is a lovely and lasting tribute - i lost a baby many years ago when married to my first dh, about 12 or so weeks so no where near as traumatic as you have been through, i STILL find myself thinking about that baby, what he (i have always thought it was a he) would be like, would he be married now, would i even be a nana now (he would have been 28 this year!), fwiw, i know your pain is a raw as it could possibly be right now, but i think it will lessen in time, i still have a feeling of regret and loss but over the years it has almost turned in to a friend iyswim?, just a part of me that i live with and give thought to now and again, in the meantime, like you, i watch and love and enjoy and wonder and become bloody exasperated with my beautiful off the wall daughter!

silver! giv us a snog!!!

good luck isindi!!!

Legal mmmn chocolate cake much deserved after that run!!

Don't worry I understand what you mean. I am determined that DD does not ever feel that something is lacking in her or our family. Luckily we work well as a unit of three and although she says she wants a sibling a visit from her cousins showed that she really is more of an only child.

When she asks I just say that mummy can't really have another baby but that is fine because we got a perfect child with her. I've also seen the damage that a depressed mother can have with DH, so am wary... Please post more though because its food for thought and my great intentions will no doubt be challenged a lot.

One thing I am very thankful for is that I had a truly great pregnancy with DD and if it does turn out that she is a miracle child (forms for tests sitting in my office in a state of limbo) I am quite glad I didn't know at the time.

oops cross posted with Jesus (still makes me giggle, you are the only religious interaction I have!)

thank you - I know what you mean x

msgee - we have found being a family of 3 has been just the same amount of fun as a any other family, you just have to put a little more thought into things at times, for example, when dd was little we always went on holiday with friends and their 3 dcs, we had a great time, looked after each others kids sometimes and dd got to have fun with other kids, as she got older i encourged her to bring friends home, at times there were so many we looked like a dr banardos home (i think i would have done that anyway but of course its so much more difficult to accommodate loads of siblings friends had we had more children)
now she has left home dh and i have chatted with her about the future etc, things like christmas can be a nightmare for only children so we have said, 'pick where you want to spend the day and stay there and enjoy it' we dont want her to feel that she has to spend the day dashing around the country trying to 'please' us if she would like to spend the day elsewhere and i think laying guilt on an 'only' about putting parents first is bloody unfair, she has to build her life and make her own plans and all we can do is hope that we have done a good enough job that she will want to spend time with us (so far this philosophy is working, mainly because her and the bf are permantantly broke! ) - i guess what im trying to say is that, with a bit of thought and planning you can have a great family life with 'just' the three of you! you will find a way you know!

checking in - can't keep track of this bloody bus! Group hi to everyone, special hug to Ms Gee for a beautiful letter to baby, a special good luck to isindie for today, and a special round of applause for scoundrel for getting the help she needs with DD.
Now, tomorrow is the conference and I have 150 delegate packs, 200 copies of the magazine, 4 pop up displays and several boxes of leaflets to shift to a nearby hotel. Seeing as how you are all squeezed on the back seat and there is room and I need to get all this stuff shifted.....