The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Booze In The Autumn Breeze.

[Mouseface]

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

I'm mouse and I have an abusive relationship with alcohol. I can't have just the one drink, ever.

I'm not alone here, there are Babes who are sober and have been for some time, Babes who are still drinking and trying their best to stop or cut down and then there are Babes who aren't ready to stop drinking. Yet.

So, why not come and say hi?

No judgy pants allowed on here I'm afraid, cakes and cheeses are!

And for those who want to know a bit more about the Bus, HERE is our journey so far.

On the plus side, I've been thinking about how much money I can save. If I've been getting through a minimum of 3/4 bottle a day @ around £7.50. So, say 6 bottles week = £45. Plus taxis home when drinking or pricier drinks if in a bar, or spirits or whatever - so at least £50 a week probably more. That's £2,500 a year. Add in DH's expensive whisky habit and we're spending at least £5k a year on booze.

Have made myself a pact that if I can give up between now and Christmas, I deserve an ipad.

Not to mention calories - need to go off and calculate those too!

Hi Newly

First of all, don't project, worry about tomorrow tomorrow.

Spag Bol sound delicious, pork chops for me tonight. Now, I am sure you used to plan what you were going to drink with your meals, make sure you had a bottle of your favourite tipple in. You need to plan your NOT drinking just as carefully. Stock up on lovely soft drinks, lime, grapefruit, cranberry, elderflower with soda water, tonic, lemonade, whatever and loads of ice. I usually add slices of lemon and lime too.

Enjoy your meal knowing you are chosing not to drink today. You will love yourself in the morning and be smug .

Btw, you may be coming down with something, it might not all be withdrawal. All the more reason to TLC yourself x

Thanks Faire. Sound advice.

Hi everyone..

Have not caught up with all the posts but MsGee I am so sorry for your loss. Your letter is beautiful and I truly hope that writing it has helped you.

Well I am a total non starter among all you brave ladies.

Went to my GP today who confirmed I cannot just 'stop'.. I need to find a way to control my drinking! He was so supportive and understands why I am in this predicament and is more concerned (rightly or wrongly since he didnt ask me to take a blood test) that I sort out the problems in my life and after that the alcohol will be so much easier....

So, I will be on the relationships board asking for hand holding while I instruct my solicitor to start divorce proceedings.

I am sconsidering hypnosis.... if only I could afford it! Then again, if I didnt spend so much sodding money on booze.....

IWantWine I hope you get lots of helpful advice re the divorce. You can talk about anything with us if it helps. If you have one hand in relationships we will hold the other one here.

I think when Mouse started posting she managed to slowly reduce the amounts in quite a successful way, so will probably be able to give you loads of tips there. I would just suggest having lots of soft drinks to alternate with booze for now.

And keep posting

Still reeling over the £2.5k+ a year and working out what I can spend it on.

Good luck IWantWine.

Evening All!!
Well that's the week well and truly over .

faire thanks for the ideas. I am thinking some shopping in the morning, with some baking in the afternoon, with maybe a swim after church on Sunday!

Zany don't project honey - what do you have control over today? I think that you know that this "relationship" is really not doing you any good whatsoever! And staying in it because of some events in the future is truly not a good idea for you at all!! Please honey - bin him! You will be fine, you will be better than fine.

newlylush I think that it is a fine goal to set yourself, no drinking from now until Christmas = Ipad!! Am liking your thinking. I love love love my Ipad.

Iwantwine at your Dr, what did he suggest?? If he says you cannot just stop - what were the alternatives?? How much are you drinking - what does he think will happen if you stop!! Am seriously bewildered by this tbh.

Obrig One day at a time, just don't rule out AA until you have tried it, it may not even be for you, but like Milf, it has certainly kept me sober ODaAT.

Take care all
Off to a meeting
B
xxx

....ipad....mulberry handbag....weekends away....membership of local hotel spa....key pieces for wardrobe...

....or just paying the bills.

Yep - newly you are my type of girl

Have a good meeting bafana

unfortunately - my stopping drinking coincided with becoming a single parent again , so all that spare cash that I have saved from not smoking or drinking has gone on bills!!

ohhhh

I am going to be honest..

for the past two weeks, about a bottle and half virtually every night... I start early so I can sober up earlier. My Dr. has given me a number for a local help group. I will give them a ring. I have been drinking regularly for years. I think this is partly why is isnt a good idea to just stop. The thing is, on nights when I am not all alone, I dont miss having a drink! I dont think about having a drink. It is only when I am on my own, and I know drinking alone is bad.

I posted a couple of days ago because my son assaulted my daughter. Things are really difficult here and I use the wine to help me switch off, it numbs me. I hate myself for being so weak and I know full well that drinking isnt helping!

I am managing to stay off spirits and usually just over a bottle puts me to sleep so I dont drink any more... something to be grateful for!

Drinking has never affected my life so much so that I cant work! Obviously I would work better if I didnt drink! But I do not want to be an alcoholic. And even now, maybe I am in denial, I dont think I need to drink, it is just my circumstances. But the soft drinks idea is a good one. I will go and buy some flavoured sparking water for tomorrow :) Elderflower! and tell myself it is wine? Is that a good idea??

On a more worrying note, I actually fear that I am doing this as a form of self harm. But that is a whole can of worms that needs to be opened by a professional. Maybe once I am divorced I will be able to focus on the good things life has to offer. I can only hope.

I really appreciate your comments and your support. I am totally alone. I have family but they hate to see me upset so I try to keep it to myself.

You know.... reading the messages on this board... makes me think that 'marriage' should be banned and replaced with a more clear cut legal agreement that is less emotive! I guess I am getting cynical!

Thank you Fairenuff I don't have to go to the football thing but it is a social thing for parents ony and I get on really well withthe other parents/mums so wouldl love to go as I feel I am a bit cut off from friends at the moment.

Newlylush how about ipad, weekend away, spa & handbag

evening all.

iwantwine - if you're serious about cutting down then i'd say the very best thing you could do is knock wine on the head and get yourself beer in. lower alcohol content, more volume - you will drink less and it's sleepy-making. i honestly think there is no physical reason why you couldn't stop drinking - not sure what your doctor is thinking of. but if cutting down is the way you choose then ban wine and get beer in. dark beer is particularly heavy/soporific. you just won't drink the same amount of alcohol that way.

if you're going for cutting down then you need a plan - not just 'control your drinking' - bit baffled at a doctor telling a person with an alcohol problem that they just need to control their drinking

good luck getting help on relationships - can get some really good support threads there sometimes

IWW

I know drinking alone is bad it's not so much drinking alone as how much, how often and how you feel about it. None of us can just 'take it or leave it' which is why we are all here. If you were drinking the same amount or more in social situations, you still have the same result, right?

and tell myself it is wine? Is that a good idea?? probably not. If you do that you are reinforcing the idea that wine is good, a treat, and not having it is a sacrifice. Actually, wine is controlling you and possibly killing you (and all of us to some degree or other). Wine does not enhance your life. But it could ruin it .

Don't mean to sound harsh but as I am not drinking today, thought I would give myself a timely reminder

IWW I agree with SAF, I was drinking at least a bottle, usually one and a half and once or twice a week 2 bottles of wine a night. I stopped at once - obviously this was not at all easy, but it didn't cause any physical ill effects. I had cravings and headaches, felt a bit fluey for a few days, but I think that is what we call seeing the hangover through to the end.

After that I felt proud of myself, happier, lighter in spirit (no pun intended). If you are worried about withdrawal I think the couple of beers per night idea is a good one - as long as it is only a couple

On the money front I have bought a ticket to see a proper concert, in London next week. The ticket was £25 Then I realised that was about 1/2 a week worth of boozing - double
Count up what you are saving babes and treat yourself once in a while, you so deserve it.
Bafana you are right, I am on my way to my first anniversary of sobriety, not sure what to do about a celebration (of course I have to get there first). Maybe a cakefest, or giant box of chocolates will do.

I've saved about £25 this week, yay

ahh I think in a social situation I wouldnt drink so much, well I dont, but social situations are few and far between.

I think my Dr. thought that out and out stopping would be harmful. He does know my situation, as it has been going on for a few years so I trust him. I would love to be able to control my intake.... Yeah, wouldnt we all?

ohhhh

I am going to be honest..

for the past two weeks, about a bottle and half virtually every night... I start early so I can sober up earlier. My Dr. has given me a number for a local help group. I will give them a ring. I have been drinking regularly for years. I think this is partly why is isnt a good idea to just stop. The thing is, on nights when I am not all alone, I dont miss having a drink! I dont think about having a drink. It is only when I am on my own, and I know drinking alone is bad.

I posted a couple of days ago because my son assaulted my daughter. Things are really difficult here and I use the wine to help me switch off, it numbs me. I hate myself for being so weak and I know full well that drinking isnt helping!

I am managing to stay off spirits and usually just over a bottle puts me to sleep so I dont drink any more... something to be grateful for!

Drinking has never affected my life so much so that I cant work! Obviously I would work better if I didnt drink! But I do not want to be an alcoholic. And even now, maybe I am in denial, I dont think I need to drink, it is just my circumstances. But the soft drinks idea is a good one. I will go and buy some flavoured sparking water for tomorrow :) Elderflower! and tell myself it is wine? Is that a good idea??

On a more worrying note, I actually fear that I am doing this as a form of self harm. But that is a whole can of worms that needs to be opened by a professional. Maybe once I am divorced I will be able to focus on the good things life has to offer. I can only hope.

I really appreciate your comments and your support. I am totally alone. I have family but they hate to see me upset so I try to keep it to myself.

You know.... reading the messages on this board... makes me think that 'marriage' should be banned and replaced with a more clear cut legal agreement that is less emotive! I guess I am getting cynical!

Hi IWW

I'm one of those people who's GP told me that I could just have one or two glasses of wine and it would make me feel better.

Someone here when I posted about it said 'but he's right, one or two glasses of wine won't hurt you, will it!'. The tacit assumption of course being that I cannot drink one or two glasses of wine, because I can't! I pick up one drink of any description and I'm off, it's like a roller coaster and I have no idea where it will end. I was never an every day drinker but I could never ever know when having that first one would end up with me feeling all slobbed out and relaxed or me having a screaming banshee headfit at the nearest target.

I choose not to take the risk nowadays so I don't pick up that first drink and I would recommend that to anyone who's feeling the same way. I'm not perfect, I've had lapses, but having the knowledge of the where they could go gets me back on track x

IWW your situation sounds really hard, and I remember that you posted about your DS before. Is he an older teenager?

I found that my DS was pretty disdainful of me when I was drinking and I found it really difficult to relate to him because I felt ashamed of myself and pretty worthless.

With giving up drinking I found that I regained my own self worth and became stronger in my relationship with him, he became more receptive, and more respectful, as I could have rational discussions with him and remember what he had said to me the next day.

The wine dulls the edges, but it also has a profound effect on your relationship with your DC, if you can't fully engage with them, I know because I have been there.

I know things can't just be fixed with a magic wand, but you could try putting your health and sense of self first and see how that goes?