I don't think DH treats me right

[amigoingmadhere]

He just told me to stop being a dck. As it happens, I wasn't being.
He also regularly tells me to "shut the f up", to shut my "f*ing trap", that I have various mental and physical illnesses (I have none - apart from the odd bout of depression).

He can be a great charmer to others, but is like Jekyll and Hyde and can switch in an instant to something quite nasty. Yet I don't think he is actually nasty deep down - he is absolutely great with the dcs (usually) - I just think he has some issues from childhood that seem to have worked themselves out like this.

He can be ok sometimes - it's not a constant torrent of abuse, but can be sometimes. He also regularly runs into trouble with others - eg being offensive, rude, argumentative and controlling.

I don't know what to do - I don't think I can leave as I think it would ruin the dcs much more than if I stayed.. I need a second (or more) opinion as to what to make of all this. It's been going on for a few years - since we got married - maybe just before. He was obviously on his best behaviour when we were dating.

only on for a sec as he'll be back - didn't punch me hard but still - I was lying in bed - was about 7am - he changed o - back later..

Have you phoned the police OP? If not, phone the police now

What a complete and utter bastard.

OP take care of yourself and your children. Don't wait to come back later, you need to phone the police NOW.

Police. Get him removed from the house.

didn't punch me hard That's irrelevant. No more excuses. No more second chances. Enough OP. He needs to go. Sorry to be harsh but you have to stop enabling him.

Evil man

Please call the police. He won't change, he's getting worse

Police.

Now.

Do it.

Police. Now. I am pregnant and the thought of anyone hitting my belly - even lightly - makes me sick. For God's sake what more is going to take? Does someone have to get seriously hurt for you to act on this? Yes you have now complicated your situation by falling pregnant, but this child should give you even more reason to get out. Police - get him out of the house. Cease daily contact. Divorce. New life. Self esteem back.

sorry, had to go before. he was changing ds's nappy and didn't like an innocuous comment I made, so he came from behind me (I didn't hear him coming) and hit me on my side (ie my stomach) from behind me with the dirty nappy in a nappy sack - so with a nappy full of wee and poo, in a bag, onto my pregnant tummy. It wasn't so hard but it was hard enough, and it gave me a shock, and it was disgusting all round. I haven't called the police yet but will call Women's Aid later when I feel it is safe to do so. Family not around at the moment so nowhere to go for now but I feel semi-safe in the short term in that I don;t think he will try anything else at least for a day or two as he knows I am about to leave him and he is probably terrified at the prospect. Need to stay on a even keel for the dcs. Need to plan next steps over the next few days but need to do it safely and plan well and properly.

a few weeks ago he also pushed me against a wall, pushing my tummy. also felt I couldn't leave him then as it would be too traumatic with the dcs as about to go on holiday and no family around. But do not think I am being weak - I am not. I will leave him I just need to make sure I speak to a lawyer / family etc. to plan it right.

If he thinks you are planning to leave him you could be in the greatest danger right now.

Get out.

I agree, it is escalating quickly. Just go, stay with a friend whilst you plan. Just get away.

Calling the police is your only option.this man could kill you,or your kids. You no longer have any choice.

I am actually too scared to call the police as they will come and go and I will be left with an angry and dangerous man - and the dcs will get too frightened by the whole thing

ditto if I stay somewhere else - he will come after us

can you divorce someone if they won;t agree to it? he won;t agree to it.

Seriously listen to everybody .... You are in the greatest danger right now . Get out with the kids this is not going to improve and if I read your posts today correctly he has hit you twice in a period of a few hours today .... He is getting angrier it is escalating you need to leave now . Call women's aid they will help you escape everything else can be sorted later .

Womens aid know how to get you out and protect you . The police will arrest him if he comes after you . I know you are scared but summon up every grain of courage and call WA as quick as you can.

Police and WA.

OP you are not deliberately colluding because you have been worn down by this. But you are in the sense that, as many people, have said, your children need an advocate and you have to be that person as your partner is not.

Yup, unfair and you are going through hell but your kids only have you to rely on as he sounds a complete entitled bastard.

Plan your leaving. Don't tell him a thing.

I have spoken to a friend and have somewhere to stay tonight.

Excellent. Now how are you going to get out?

I will tell him he has to stay away tonight - if he doesn't go I will take the children and leave. If he stops me I will call the police.

Good. Do you have a way of contacting the police if things get nasty and you can't get to the phone? e.g.

Can your friend come round while you tell him to go?

good point - current problem is my mobile is not working. Friend will not be around. I feel confident that I could go to one of the neighbours though to use their phone. They hear his shouting sometimes so probably wouldn't be surprised if something was going on.