He just told me to stop being a dck. As it happens, I wasn't being.
He also regularly tells me to "shut the f up", to shut my "f*ing trap", that I have various mental and physical illnesses (I have none - apart from the odd bout of depression).
He can be a great charmer to others, but is like Jekyll and Hyde and can switch in an instant to something quite nasty. Yet I don't think he is actually nasty deep down - he is absolutely great with the dcs (usually) - I just think he has some issues from childhood that seem to have worked themselves out like this.
He can be ok sometimes - it's not a constant torrent of abuse, but can be sometimes. He also regularly runs into trouble with others - eg being offensive, rude, argumentative and controlling.
I don't know what to do - I don't think I can leave as I think it would ruin the dcs much more than if I stayed.. I need a second (or more) opinion as to what to make of all this. It's been going on for a few years - since we got married - maybe just before. He was obviously on his best behaviour when we were dating.