I am being deliberatly vague sorry.

[PrisonerZero]

Say, for example a person was in a bad relationship, a non violent (as yet) but highly critical, verbally abusive, mentally abusive, controlling relationship where the male partner drinks to excess and the female partner dreads the afternoon as it gets closer and closer to the time he will be home. As well as having her own older DC she also has a small baby, her current partner is this childs father and on the birth certificate.

The female realises she needs to end the relationship but is scared to do so - mainly because he has told her repeatidly that he would take the baby away (baby is less than 3 months old and breastfed). She believes that he would 100% take the baby. He would take him from her arms even, or the second she turned her back. He would take him from his bed in the middle of the night, or from the pram when out walking. If he was locked out he would find a way to get in. He is on the babys birth certificate and has parental responsibility. He wouldn't hurt the baby.

What could the female do to pre-emptivily stop this happening? How could she be sure that she wouldn't lose her child? Is there any way of getting anything down on paper saying that he can't take the child away without him knowing that she has done it?

Here is the link to the poster already getting help from the DV unit

here

Evening Zero; A solicitor is hired by you to work for you. When you see one, you tell them what you want them to do - you need protection.

I think its time for you to get tough and worry about the consequences later. You say he is your P, so you are not legally married. You own the house in which he keeps you prisoner.

He is not going to be nice to deal with and once a letter from solicitor has been sent he will probably get quite nasty especially if he is still in the house.

You could do it this way - have a locksmith round to change the locks and be prepared to stay in the house with the baby for several days at least. Get friends and family to help. Get all his stuff out. If he then attempts to force his way back in, or other stunts call police immediately then they will have to do something with him.

If you want him out that badly just get on with it and use any misdemeanor of his against him, no doubt he wouldn't hesitate to do the same to you because he doesn't give a fuck about your wellbeing.

Oh zero that's crap. What a useless solicitor. He can't have gotten the full story in 10 mins. It's not for him to say that your P's threat is meaningless.

Even if you take what he said (about the threat to take your baby away) at face value, the big flashing light should be going off about the threat to kill you. Did you mention the threat about the boiler? When you get a referral, I think you should stress this.

But really, at this point, I think Women's Aid and the DV unit will be more useful. I know it must be hard to keep from being discouraged, but please keep up the momentum and get in touch with them.

can you leave a quick post to let us know you are ok Zero?

We would all like to see you out of there yesterday, however, you have to do what you are ready to do.

As I have said before, the fact is that you are not married this man and he has no right whatsoever to be in your home unless you give him permission to be there.

You don't need solicitors and there's no reason for you to phone any organisation as all you need to do is to take yourself and your dc to your local police station and ask for help from the Domestic Violence Unit.

How are things, Zero? If you haven't left, don't feel bad for anyone here. This is your life. Maybe you don't feel like you can get out right now (I read somewhere that it takes an abused woman an average of 7 attempts to leave), but you're still closer to leaving than you were when you started this thread. You've admitted the abuse to yourself which is a huge step.

I hope you're OK.

Zero, just seen this and want you to know that all your AN thread friends are here for you. You can PM any of us on here or FB if you need to. We're worried about you and are rooting for you.

Just wanted to make it clear, he does NOT have parental responsibility regardless of whether he's on birth cert as you're not married. See here

Please keep friend and ExDP in the picture, let people help you. If you tell GP or anyone else and say it's important that they don't call or come to the house then they won't but people should be aware of what's happening.

Please get in touch if you can/need to. xx

Like nurse said all your an thread people are here for you and any time you need us we can all help you xx

OP, phone your local Women's Aid. They are incredibly supportive.

Just wanted to give you this .

Zero I'm so sorry you are going through this. The solicitor you saw on the 21st sounds terrible, he didn't make any effort to understand you, didn't even introduce himself! Don't let what he said stop you. Remember the first solicitor you saw?

"she was lovely. She listened and seemed to get what I was facing ... She gave me her card and asked me to keep her updated on how we are doing and said I am to call in an emergency... I can't wait to be free."

She wants you to call her, please talk to her again. She sounds like a far better solicitor, so listen to her assessment of the situation rather than the other solictor's. I know she doesn't take public funded work, but she sounds like a decent woman who will do her best to help you.

Really hope you are safe.