Had meeting with DV woman today.

[Lemmingswife]

Met up with her at my HV's house.
Session was tough & I had to go through everything that went on at home.
DV officer was shocked & terms it as serious emotional abuse.
Told me a little about my rights regarding the house & has advised me to make photocopies of all personal stuff, like childrens birth certificates, mortgage details, marraige certificate etc.
HV is really starting to get other bits moving.
Very scary.

That was very brief. H is in the house.
Will post more when safe.

Well done! Yes it is very scary I'd imagine, now that it's all looking possible & moving on. But you know it's got to be done and is the right thing to do. (What does DV stand for btw?)

Domestic violence.
HV said my counsellor had gone to her with concerns about what I talked about at my last session, regarding ds1 shutting off.
Was really hard & at one point all 3 of us were tearful.
Take it you got my CAT ok, Lizita?

Well done.

You are ? ? aren't you??

Yes, I sent a brief reply...

Can't imagine how hard it must be. It was hard enough when I blew the whistle on my boss that time, if you remember me telling you about it before? It was weird seeing how shocked others were by what had been going on, when you're in the middle of it you don't realise. I kept the statement I wrote and when I read back on it now it shocks me and I can't believe I went through it! But, that was only at work (well, mainly!) I can't imagine what it must be like in a marriage...

Only ask, because it would be scary to think that there were two barstewards like that out there.

Yes I am that person, Lizita! I haven't received your reply yet.
There was loads to take in & I have had to sign up for some kind of support from social workers. (H will not know anything about this)
DV woman thought my safety was very much at risk.

Have been advised to make an appoitment with the housing officer.
HV took notes during the meeting & has given them to me.

Sorry, I meant "Yes I am, Ladysherlock!"
Easily confused!!!

Good for you, well done, you're doing the right thing. Make sure you delete your user name from mn won't you? And untick the remember me box.

Oh blimey, how do you do that???
Sorry, I am not the most technical!!

Click on Log Out when you close the screen down. And when you log in DON'T click the box that says remember me.

Oh right, I am with you!

I didn't tick the box & always make sure I return to my regular name in the profile bit after I have finished posting.

That's weird that you haven't received my reply, maybe I sent it to the wrong address...

I am REALLY pleased you are getting this level of professional support. I think you need it, I really do. And I am VERY VERY proud of you for getting this help for DS. It must feel so scary and confronting to have these sorts of people involved, but they are there for you, and for DS. I actually feel quite tearful with relief that you have this amount of real professional help. I am sure you must feel shaky and mixed up, but watching, I am just so relieved.

I have your e, and will reply when you tell me it is ok.

XXXXXXXXXX

They all sound lovely women, too.

They are lovely women & were both doing their best to try & bump up my self esteem, which is a near impossible task!
I have been advised to log everything that happens & date it, from now on.
She told me that I must have a safety plan & keep an extra set of clothes & keys somewhere.
I have the number for the benefits helpline & the benefits enquiries.
This woman has all my details & they will take me on as a client when I am ready. (HV has number) They help with all the court bits etc, when you get out.
I wont see the same woman again, as she is moving to Brighton today, but my details will be passed on.
She asked how I feel when I hear the key in the door when H returns from work & according to my HV, I put my hand over my face when she first said it. Don't recall doing this though.
DV woman thinks my safety may be at risk the more H feels he is losing control.
HV even offered her own house as a place of safety.
We slept in seperate rooms again last night & I have had a very disturbed night. So tonight I will look like the she devil!

Instead of logging it at home where it might be found, how about emailing it to someone you trust??

Then you can double delete the email.

Better still, start your own thread on here, asking no on else to post,explaining why.

Then if anyone does I am sure Tech would be only too happy to delete them, thus keeping your thread in easy to read chronological order.

Do you have a close friend nearby where you can keep a bag with clothes in for you and children? Take copies of all important documents and keep them in the bag away from the home where he can't find them.

Can you arrange an emergency code with a friend? If you feel in danger and can't get out, but can get to a phone, you can have a pre-arranged message such as "Thanks for X's birthday invitation, but I'm afraid Y won't be able to come". Friend would then know you were in trouble and could arrange for police to call.

Is there some reason why you can't move out now before things escalate?

The only problem is, not many RL friends know what goes on at home & none of them know about Friday.
My HV has told me that I must be very careful with regards to letting friends know too much, as it could result in bits getting back to H.
I do have spare clothes at my Mum's, as have the boy's.
My Mum also has a spare key to our house.
Would more than likely hide my bits in a wardrobe at my parents house.
Things are quite calm ATM.

How's things Lemmingswife? And how are you feeling at the mo?

It is all so much to take in, Lizita.
There are times when I feel really guilty, because he is being okay ATM. But I have to keep reminding myself that it won't last & that I am doing the right thing.

Absolutely, just keep remembering that...

I will try.
Never did receive your e-mail, BTW!