Had meeting with DV woman today.

[Lemmingswife]

Met up with her at my HV's house.
Session was tough & I had to go through everything that went on at home.
DV officer was shocked & terms it as serious emotional abuse.
Told me a little about my rights regarding the house & has advised me to make photocopies of all personal stuff, like childrens birth certificates, mortgage details, marraige certificate etc.
HV is really starting to get other bits moving.
Very scary.

No, I guess I wasn't telling him to stop feeling sorry for himself a year back. I am now just so tired of him turning everything around & trying to make me feel sorry for him.
He always comes out with the "You don't love me like you used to" line.
On Saturday night after the talk, he decided to take himself into the spare room again, obviously hoping that I would go in there & beg him to sleep in the room with me.
Marina - thankyou for your kind words.
Every post on here helps me out loads & I know I would not be as far along as I am now without the support I get here on MN.

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Have just had the SENCO on the phone & she has arranged a meeting with me & my HV tomorrow morning at 9am.
Think I need a drink!

Essbee, I will be around tonight, as he is on nights again. I lose track of his shifts!

Good luck for tomorrow morning. I might try to get on computer later, but have oodles of work to do tonight sadly .

Thanks dinosaur.
Feeling a bit churned up ATM. Don't know if I will be able to remain strong tomorrow, as everything is getting a bit much right now.

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Excellent news essbee!

SENCO wants to push forward DS's referral, so they can see if it is all due to emotional abuse, or if there is a bit of a tendency there.

It appears that the headmistress that I work for is aware I have marraige problems too.
Got a bit upset earlier. I think it was because I know I am going to have to talk about all this difficult stuff & also it has brought all the worry with DS1 to the surface again.
Had a bath & feel a little bit better. Still feel in need of a drink though!

Good luck for tomorrow morning, I hope it goes ok and that you stay strong and are able to tell them everything they need to know.

If it turns out that ds1's problems are due to emotional abuse (even in part), that's one more bit of justification for leaving and getting your boys into a healthy environment.

Thanks CQ.
I have had 2 glasses of wine & feel a little less uptight now.
I am not looking forward to this meeting, but know I have to get through it.
I hope I manage to stay strong, I have amazed myself by keeping with it at other tough meetings. I am quite good at controlling myself normally, but feel things are really starting to pile on top of me ATM.
I will let you know how I got on when I get back from work tomorrow.

Didn't sleep well last night. Was in tears at 4.30am, as I started thinking about how I am going to have to face everything & talk about it today.
Also feel I am losing the fight with DS1 & may have to face the fact that he may have a problem.
Not feeling that strong ATM. Hope I can keep with it this morning.

Oh LW - I'm so sorry I missed this. I know it might be difficult to e mail during the day...contact me when you can, ok?
Hang on in there - it's natural that yu would be so upset, so don't feel you have to control yourself in meetings - especially with people who ae essentially there to suport you. They will know how v distressing this is for you.

You're doing well BECAUSE this is happening. You're doing well because you got professional help. You're doing well because you are getting the best help, and quickly, for DS. You're doing well because you have shifted the power balance between you and H - you are no longer completely taken ion with his mindgames.

You do have to be brave to face up to these things - finding out about DS - but you wouldn't be the Mummy you are if you were resisting all offers of referral and slagging off the SENCO etc!

I'm out in the middle of the day, but otherwise around.
XXXXX

Got through it! Will post more when I can.

Have just clicked as to who you are. Really, really well done LW for getting help.
I've told you before that my ds1 has been so much better since the split with ex-H. Ex-H's behaviour had a huge effect on him, as did our unhappiness together. Everyone comments on how much more well-adjusted he is now. He was 3 when we split and is 6 now.
I'm having counselling now & have found it a complete revelation. I had no idea what a mess I was in and how punishing my relationship with ex-H had been. Another difficult, controlling, emotionally abuse man.
Take as much care of yourself as you can. Giant hugs to you.

Well done LW!

Blu, I have mailed you.

Got through the meeting without losing the plot, although I did feel pretty emotional at one point.
HV filled SENCO in on the latest happeninings & told her how this early intervention thing with the SS is to help me make a plan of some kind.
DS1 was discussed & SENCO is unsure as to whether his problems are emotional abuse, or some other problem.
Felt a bit wobbly after the meeting, but was ok by the afternoon, which is when I have to teach the class.
Can't believe I got through it without losing it!
HV told me it was because I am very strong, but I think it is more a case of becoming good at self control, as I have had lots of practice with all these tough meetings!

Well done on getting through the meeting. Your hv is right, you are very strong - if you weren't you wouldn't be taking all these steps to improve your situation and take care of your boys. I hope things for ds1 get sorted out very soon.

Thanks CQ.
I haven't been to work today, as my stomach has been playing up & I had little sleep again.
My HV popped a note into work earlier & panicked that I wasn't in because of the stress from yesterday's meeting, so phoned me!
Blu, I got your mail & will reply when H goes to change his tyres later!

So glad your HV is keeping an eye out for you LW. Take care of yourself as much as you can.

Thanks Bugsy. Glad you are finding your counselling sessions helpful.

What's the next step after yesterday's meeting?

I have a meeting organised with the woman from SS on Tuesday. She is meeting me in my lunch hour at work. I am meant to then be getting a visit from my HV on the Wednesday.