No-one would describe the men you are all involved with as "poor defenceless creatures", any more than any of you are poor and defenceless, for that matter. However, what is clear is that most of the men written about on this thread are at least trying to extricate themselves from the damaging situations they got themselves into.
Yet some of you blame them for this and claim you are victims. Worse still, you just won't let it go.
Support threads are a good thing, but it really won't help you if you act like a bunch of nodding dogs when posters state they hate a wife they've never met, that they enjoyed soiling her bed 
, or call into question the hours she works. One of most risible contributions was an OW claiming that she knew the man better than his wife.....as if...
As this thread has gone on, more and more of you have made fools of yourselves by debasing yourselves to men who just want you out of their lives. If you were truly supportive of one another, you'd stop the "never mind, you're only human, hun xxx" type posts and instead, started getting tough with one another.
Some of you appear to be married to decent men who don't deserve the way you're treating them and in a couple of cases, it seems this thread has brought out the worst in people, propelling them to take incredibly stupid risks with their hard-won happiness.
It would help if you stopped pretending that you are trying to do the right thing, because you're not. You keep poking a sleeping lion and your greatest fear should be that he will come back to destroy you, with evidence that will shatter your worlds.
Stop poking and start learning.