Some people may hate the term "Toxic" but many such people who state such things have fortunately come from families where this type of familial dysfunction is totally unknown to them. It is therefore not a concept that is familiar to them.
The phrase "toxic parent" was coined to describe parents whose own negative behaviour grossly inflicts emotional damage and damage's their children's sense of self.
This means parents who abuse their children verbally, physically and/or sexually, as well as parents who are inadequate or ignore their children's emotional needs. Sometimes these patterns are so established they continue into adulthood, and often are either not recognized or addressed.
There are some toxic parents whose consistently negative patterns of parenting leave a legacy of guilt and shame within their children, and worse still there are parents whose outright cruelty would be considered illegal if exhibited toward animals, let alone their own children. Many children now adults of such parents have fear, obligation and guilt.
People have talked about her man's parents apologising; that is not going to happen. Toxic parents do not take any responsibility for their actions not apologise for their behaviour.
Where do parents like this learn these despicable patterns of behaviour?
Yes, you are quite right! Usually from their own parents, who in turn, learned it from theirs. However, few people make the connection between their parent's parenting style and their own emotional problems. Often, these emotional difficulties only become apparent to them as they become parents themselves.
As parents we all make mistakes.
Parenting is a constantly steep learning curve, requiring enormous amounts of patience and determination through some very traumatic times. Indeed, parents often acknowledge raising a family as the most stressful occupation ever.
The following is particularly for fairybubbles man:-
Sometimes the most difficult part about parenting is recognizing that our questionable behaviour is due to the negative influences of our parents on us, especially if we are conditioned never to criticise or to see faults in our parents.