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Original poster

He tried to have sex with me while I was asleep

489 replies

maristella · 05/06/2011 21:46

And I'm very fucking angry about it.

The more I tried to stop him, the more he interpreted my movement as a green light. I kept saying let me sleep, I rolled away until I ha nowhere left to go, I kept taking his hands and cock away from me. The only way I was able to make him stop was to get out of bed. He looked so utterly wounded and rejected Angry

It was a new relationship, I really liked him, and this was the first time we spent the night together, and the last.

I fucking hate him, I have rejected all his calls since and he is still ringing and texting. I know I should have spelled it out to him, but I knew I would have been bombarded. He sent me loads of emails saying he wanted to spend the weekend with me and DS; he's never met my DS! I don;t ever want him to meet DS, ever! I emailed back (the only contact I've made to him since I stayed over) and said I really don;t want a relationship. But he is still fucking trying!

I could actually go to the police, which might mean that mutual friends and family are dragged into this, I might be vilified for this. I don;t want or deserve that. I could carry on dodging him. I might flip and call him a pervert and threaten to tell my family and our friends.

I just needed to let that out....

OP posts:
Original poster
maristella · 05/06/2011 22:26

The mutual friends, and my family we have in common are all male.

We have one very good friend in common, who we met through, and I am going to talk to him about it all this week. And if this guy does not back off I will either threaten to tell the police or my family, or both.

I've had my phone on silent for almost 2 months, because if it rings and I'm not near it DS will answer it. The thought of DS answering makes me go cold

OP posts:
Baggypussy · 05/06/2011 22:26

Ripeberry- are you Judge fucking Pickles or something? Moron.

Alambil · 05/06/2011 22:27

since when does "fuck off and leave me alone" mean "ok.... carry on"

What is wrong with you two? Angry

Surely people in a committed relationship sleep in the same bed. It does NOT automatically mean they are willing to partake in sexual relations every time it happens to be bed time. How could it?!

Original poster
maristella · 05/06/2011 22:29

I was asleep Wotty and rejected him firmly again and again! Why would any normal man keep trying forcefully? I genuinely hope you never have to understand my perpective of this first hand.

I had slept with him. That does not mean he can try to fuck me when I'm asleep, or try and fuck me when I'm sleepy saying get the fuck off me.
Bloody hell

OP posts:
cookcleanerchaufferetc · 05/06/2011 22:33

Op - glad you are ignoring wotty and ripe .... Their thought processes are off the wall ...... He is def a twat of the highest degree.

RitaMorgan · 05/06/2011 22:34

Saying "No" isn't a mixed signal!

Wottywot · 05/06/2011 22:34

Marustella, I have been there a few times myself (and a lot worse), so yes I do know first hand what it is like. I have learnt my lesson from it too (time again!)
No, while you are asleep is really not nice I agree and it shouldnt be the way it is but unfortunately trying to convey that to a guy in whose bed you are in can be pretty difficult.

AyeRobot · 05/06/2011 22:36

"Not nice"?

It's rape.

Dropdeadfred · 05/06/2011 22:37

Trying to convey it to a nice guy is not an issue. Trying to persuade a selfish prick o vinously is an issue. Op you are in the right all the way here

Original poster
maristella · 05/06/2011 22:38

I did communicate it very well though, despite being in a deep sleep, or being woken from one that way. I am quite foul mouthed when woken suddenly from a deep sleep, and I definitely swore. There was no mixed signal apart from my presence Confused

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 05/06/2011 22:38

Sorry for iPhone spelling - I meant
Obviously

Original poster
maristella · 05/06/2011 22:39

It's no wonder women are scared of reporting nasty shit that happens to them!

OP posts:
madonnawhore · 05/06/2011 22:39

Wotty, she said 'No', that should have been enough to make him stop.

He didn't stop despite knowing she wasn't consenting. That makes him a rape-y cunt.

It's that simple.

bigbuttons · 05/06/2011 22:41

Hmm, interesting. I see a lot of the men bashers are out tonight.

No he doesn't have the right to have sex with you just because. BUT you had sex with him and you are in the same bed with him so it's quite likely he would assume you'd want it again.

I think you need to find a less sexually active boyfriend tbh.

I don't know why but I feel sorry for him.

AyeRobot · 05/06/2011 22:42

WHAT???!!!!!

bigbuttons · 05/06/2011 22:43

What what?

Gay40 · 05/06/2011 22:44

He may have assumed she would want it again, but when she said no, that should have been the end of it.

AnnieLobeseder · 05/06/2011 22:45

wotty and ripeberry - do you two have so little respect for yourselves and other women that you believe a man has a right to expect sex any time he likes from a women sound asleep in bed with him? WTF?!?! Angry

OP, it was attempted rape, I'm so sorry it happened to you. What a horrible thing to happen after you'd taken the big step to sleep with him, and when you thought the relationship was going to well.

I hope he gets the point that you want him to fuck right off and never come near you again.

Original poster
maristella · 05/06/2011 22:45

bigbuttons you can have his bloody number!

It's perfectly normal to be woken up by a horny prodding bloke, this was completely different

OP posts:
cookcleanerchaufferetc · 05/06/2011 22:46

The op says no, rolls over presumably away from the man, repeats no fuck off or words to that effect, rolls over away from man, says no again, gets out of bed to stop him from doing anything .... And people actually side with the man!!, wtf, seriously, wtff!

This is not man bashing, more not very keen on potential rapist bashing ....

RitaMorgan · 05/06/2011 22:46

Fucking hell - I often have sex with my partner and sleep in the same bed as him. Does that mean he has the right to have sex with me even if I say no?

You can maybe forgive the guy for hoping/assuming the OP wanted sex again, but when she said No he should have stopped. Do you not understand that bigbuttons?

millie30 · 05/06/2011 22:46

For fucks sake, has mumsnet been invaded by morons?? She was asleep! And then she said no multiple times!

Original poster
maristella · 05/06/2011 22:46

Gay that sums it up just right, I'm losing my ability to communicate well here and you said it as I wish I had

OP posts:
atswimtwolengths · 05/06/2011 22:46

I thought at first this had just happened to you. Given the length of time between it happening and now and given he is still contacting you like a maniac, I think it's time you sorted it out.

You should write to him and spell it out clearly. Tell him that if he harasses you any further you will go to the police.

He sounds like a lunatic if he doesn't understand that two months of not answering the phone equals 'fuck off.'

Original poster
maristella · 05/06/2011 22:48

I'm not a prude, I'm not frigid, but what he did was really extreme.

OP posts: