Don't want to sleep with DH

[cathkidstonbag]

really need some advice on this. Last time DH and I dtd it was really awful and I felt so totally rejected afterwards. That was 3 weeks ago and I know that it's starting to be expected of me. Had the comments this morning about us needing an early night.
I just don't want to. I don't think I love him anymore, don't fancy him anymore. I can't just do it because it's expected of me, I've done that the last few months and it makes me want to cry :(
I started seeing a counsellor this week who gave me some good advice but we didn't get onto this issue.

I know, it's not what I hoped for either. Unfortunate events meant my toughness had started wearing off exactly when the remorse and apOlogies started. But (and it's a big but!) I didn't pander to that crap in my reply. Just said thank you for saying that, good to know and having a horrible day because of xyz. So IF he really was Mr Nice Guy or even trying to be so he could have offered some sympathy. He didn't. Which makes him a total nobber IMO. And he obviously feels that he only needed to do the bare minimum to get me hooked. And he was wrong.
Angry with myself not with him. I just feel total resignation now about it all, it happened, it turned to crap, I don't need it.
Again I'm sorry that I replied but in a funny way I've now got closure and he doesn't even know it bwahahaha (evil laugh!)

Don't be sorry, like we said, wobbles are inevitable!
But DO block his email
Take it day by day, don't worry about being perfect, just try to keep generally heading in the right direction...

Well, if it's done you some good then replying wasn't the worst thing you could have done. BUt as everyone is saying, now is the time to block his emails.

He thinks he has you back under his control - but he only got one wing and you've managed to fly away with the other 3 (pretend you're a 4-winged fly, not a 2-winged version) and now you're going to stay well away from him, nasty torturer that he is.

Lizzie - god, that sounds horrendous. I hope you manage to find a way to end this situation before too much longer. :(

Emails now blocked - should have remembered he knew my other account too. Maybe subconciously I was giving him another chance? He blew it big time. It was such a good one from him tho so believable. A little glimpse of the man I thought I knew :( But no point telling me how he'd do anything for me when he can't even bloody reply!!! Actions not words needed for me.
DH continuing to shape up. Let "accidentally" slip to him that a friend and I have been talking about what kind of house we would get together if our marriages were over. He was absolutely gobsmacked and I just said to him "I do have options, at the moment I'm staying because I want to - I don't need to". Left him muttering to himself :)

And it's a female friend and she's not a lesbian - before anyone asks!!!

why would we ask that ??

is that the kind of retort you are used to ?

no wonder you are so worn down with it all

omg - does he really have no idea of how bad things are in your marriage? Is he that thick-skinned/self-assured/blind/arrogant/stupid (delete as appropriate) that he thinks you will stay forever and put up with it?

I think perhaps you should drop a few more less-than-subtle hints about what you would do as a single woman again - make him realise that you are seriously considering that option - might make him sit up and take notice. Or leave - which you said upthread would be a great decision for you - do you still think that?

well done on blocking the emails!!!

Yay on the email block!

Anyfucker - well yes I suppose it is, in fact he did say something about that to me. I just laughed!
Thumbwitch - yes he does! Leaving is still an option and I do have lots of financial advice etc now which would make that easier. But I do feel a bit "raw" at the moment so want to get a bit stronger before I make any decisions.