This is playing on my mind

[VictoriasSecret]

I have a good marriage. We have 3 children and I am a sahm. My husband is a good, kind man who works hard. We have always had a good relationship. We bicker sometimes but don't really argue and he has never been violent or aggressive to me in any way.

A couple of weeks ago something happened and it is playing on my mind to the extent that I feel a bit upset when I think about it.

I take sleeping tablets so sleep very deeply. I woke in the early hours to find that my dh had his fingers inside me and was taking intimate pictures of me on his phone.

He didn't immediately stop when I woke. I was so shocked that I just let him carry on which he did for a few minutes. He then stopped and made a bit of a joke about it. I said very little and we both went to sleep. We haven't discussed it since.

I don't know what to think of it. I feel confused about what happened.

You really do need to discuss this!

Sexual assult is what it is.

I hate to say it, but you could well be all over the net.

Your husband is a sicko, basically.

He's not a good kind man. And yes, he has been violent and aggressive to you. What kind of horrible person does that to someone?? If y dp did that to me he'd be toast. You need to read him the bloody riot act.

yuk, that would seriously disturb me. That's such a violation. You need to talk to him, you need to know who's seen those pictures. You also need him to delete them in front of you. I'm sorry this has happened, but that is quite a revolting thing to do to someone you love.

Can I ask why you are on sleeping tablets? Is it a long term thing? Shouldn't your gp be helping you find ways to sleep without tablets.

This is why I am so confused. In every other way he is really wonderful. He is an amazing dad, really hands on. Always really kind and patient with the kids.

Errr that's really gross. How you didn't smash his phone is beyond me....

I'm on sleeping tablets because of I suffer with really bad insomnia. I don't take them every night, just when I really can't sleep.

They always are amazing Dad's sigh.

Still he sexually assaults you in you sleep, and I'd bet my house he is taking those pics for more than his own personal use.

Yuck a sexual preadator who jumps on you whilst you are asleep, taking pics to plaster all over the web for all you know.

There is no saving this really, eugh.

I barely reacted to it because tbh I was in shock. I kind of just froze. I know I handled it badly.

You didn't handle it badly at all.

What he is like with the children bears no relevance to this situation. You are looking for excuses to justify this behaviour because it's outrageous. It's not a case of writing a plus and minus list as to his attributes etc. He has sexually assaulted you.

He has never done anything like it before, it's really out of character.

does he use pornography at all??

I didn't protest when I woke though

you didnt give your consent,its assault. maybe you should have a good think about this.

you have children? so think a bit harder. sorry this has happened.

He has never done anything like this before.....to your knowledge.

How would you know if you are usually asleep?

If this is a real thread and not some truckers fantasy, why are you trying to justify this?

Does it not bother you there are probably intimate pictures of you being sexually assaulted all over the net?

He use to use porn a lot but as far as I know he doesn't now.

You didn't handle it badly - you were obviously very shocked. You are saying you don't know what to think of it - we are all saying that it is a disgusting thing for him to do and is completely out of order.

At the very least you need to talk to him about it and make sure those pictures are no more.

Sorry but how do you know he hasn't done this before? If you're usually very deeply asleep you just may not have woken before. Sorry to be so blunt about it. I don't think a man suddenly thinks "Oh, she's asleep, I'll just take a photo while I'm sexually assaulting her..." Surely this is likely to be an escalation of behaviour rather then the first time?

This is real. I am a regular who has name changed. I'm not a hairy trucker.

you are on medication,he tookn advantage.

my dd was recently filmed whilst showering at a friends place.....perpatraitor hid the phone in the bathroom......he was arrested.

I'm not trying to justify what he did. I'm trying to stay calm because I need a clear head to work this out.

Doped off your nut on sleeping tablets does not make for the best 'reaction'. This is not your fault. This is inexcusable. Taking a photographic account of the incident is even more disturbing whether it be for personal use or otherwise.

I know I need to talk to him about it. I'm scared though, not of him but of the implications. If this all blows up it means the end of my marriage and I just can't deal with that at this moment in time.